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About 6EBeast

  • Birthday 07/17/1992

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  1. I think @roboticanary has some pretty sound advice here. Ironically, my first inclination was precisely to post a label: sapiosexual. It's not commonly used to describe aroace squish attraction, but it seems to have some similarities with your draw to intelligence. So even if the label doesn't quite fit your you-ness, reading about it might still give some insights πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ To reiterate what's been said and lean into the suggestion already given: it does sound like a squish to me, and I really like the idea of focusing on your goals rather than just labelling the attraction. I am curious myself if this is the right piece of advice, so take the following with a big grain of salt, but maybe talk to her about your squish? Personally, I wouldn't use the word squish directly, but hey, maybe that's a common lingo you two would share.. More so what I mean is: express to her that you really admire her intelligence and want to hang out. Find truths (again leaning into the "what are your goals" bit) and express them to her. For example, if you really think you could learn from her or become wiser by hanging out with her... tell her that! The reason I said to take all of that with a grain of salt: this is the kind of advice I would give to a person experiencing a crush. To tell the other person what they admire about them and some small preview of how they feel/where they want things to go. I admittedly have much less experience when the relationship is aroace, but am hopeful the advice is still sound ☺️ Regardless of what you do or don't: best of luck! My final note: despite the powerful draw you clearly have to her, you specifically said "we didn't really hit it off." I would err on the side of putting in enough effort that you can't look back and think "I never tried; oh, what if??" but also temper it with this thought: you will likely meet thousands of people in your lifetime, and very few of them will create a useful or fulfilling relationship. I get that in these moments, this relationship feels like such an achievement, but: maybe it isn't meant to be? Maybe there is little value in persuing something more grand with someone that you really didn't hit it off with anyway? I have crushed on countless people in my time, and the most freeing of feelings is when I realize: it doesn't matter. If a feeling isn't reciprocated or a relationship (good, bad, or otherwise) comes to a close, I have come to realize: I have others and will have more to come. Maybe there's some comfort in that, too. Maybe not πŸ™ƒ I really do wish you the best, though ☺️ Good Luck!
  2. @roboticanary The most recent string of searches had to do with different types of relationships. I keep thinking on the fact that my ultimate ideal living situation would be closely surrounded by multiple "partners," for lack of a better word, that would span from platonic to sexual to romantic and various combinations thereof. Somewhere in that googling led me to researching relationships between romantic and aromantic people and eventually to various terms like squish and QPR. A lot of that points here 😊 A couple years ago, I remember a TikTok that had the aroace flag colors in it. I don't actually remember the searches, but something in that research lead me to these forums. And I know I had found Arocalypse before that as well, but honestly don't remember how. Hope that's insightful, though ☺️ And to everyone replying more generally: thank you for the warm welcomes!
  3. Guess I'm pulling up a necro topic, but hey, I'm new here and it interested me πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈβ˜ΊοΈ After reading through other posts, I can think of other historical or historical fiction without romance. My brain goes to the Holocaust with the likes of Jojo Rabbit and Schindler's List. I don't know why my brain kept going here while reading a thread about aro representation in media, but hear me out: Valentine's Day πŸ˜… Okay, okay. There is A LOT of romance in that movie, but it also does a good job of highlighting the complexity of interpersonal relationships imo. There's a person pretty much convinced she's aro. She ultimately decides otherwise, but not before attending a party filled with people who are happy being aro! There's a man convinced he's in love with a friend because of how close their friendship is only to realize: nope this is probably "just a friendship," so they conclude, or maybe even a QPR, had they the terminology (yeah, I guess I'm adding that part in, so the representation there is a little lost). Anyway, it's a movie whose plot is fueled by romance AND aromanticism AND everything in between. So the romance that is there doesn't feel frivolous, and I thought the representation was interesting and apparent. There's also just identification of how complex interpersonal relationships are in expression. From vapid teens to seasoned (adulterous) veterans and aro to quasi-platonic, the movie, in my opinion, really shows the spectrum of romance. Anywho. This thread was a fun find and read, so I'm not so worried about pulling it's carcass back up to the top 😏 Cheers πŸ₯‚πŸΎ
  4. Hi there! My name's David. I am a polyamorous cis-het male with serial limerent tendencies πŸ₯³ So how did I wind up on Arocalypse?? I'm not aro, but I'm still some kind of queer. I think it's not all too far a stretch to say that any-sort-of-queer communities tend to run in similar circles, even when their particular type of queer isn't exactly the same πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Some back story: My direct irl connection with the aro community is limited. In college, I had a friend that openly identified as aroace. As, I believe, many non-aro people first experience, I had the thought "maybe they just haven't found the right person yet πŸ€”" I was admittedly intrigued and asked a few questions, but while she hung out with the same groups as I did, she was not one of my particularly close friends. Eventually, as happens with so many more cursory friendships, our contact faded, and I barely remembered that aromanticism was even a thing. Then, more recently, circa... 2015ish πŸ€” I fell deeply in love with a woman. Her best friend growing up is aroace and, soon after becoming romantically involved with the first, I met the second. The second and I have shared many a conversation regarding our individual queernesses and the difficulties and differences posed by living in a normative world. I consider them both dear friends to this day. *end backstory* As far as "how did I wind up on these forums?" Over the past couple of years, I have noticed many internet searches regarding my own curiosities land me on a page or two here. Recently, I not only appreciated the posts of another but felt that I genuinely had something useful to add as well. I created an account and posted in kind. I don't know how active I will be on these forums, but I wanted to introduce myself after creating my account. I have had my own difficulties being sexually normative and romantically deviant. I'm sure my experiences will be rather different than much of this community's, but I am also quite intrigued by the ways in which they are the same. I hope that any differences in my perspective ultimately breed insight and growth for not only myself but for everyone here as well πŸ™β€οΈ
  5. Hi! I just want to point out that it sounds like you suffer from limerence. Researching the topic will likely really help you understand yourself and what is going on in your relationships. The topic is a little too involved to share everything in one post, but here are some highlights: -chemical highs and lows triggered by romantic thoughts/daydreams/fantasies about another. This person is termed your "Limerent Object" or "LO." -you experience extreme motivation towards anything that gets you closer to your daydreams with your LO, i.e. willing to learn a new language they know or... give up many aspects of a relationship that might be important to you if it just means a chance at being with them 😏 -your attraction tends to grow on the cusp of "possible but unlikely." In other words, I would wager a guess that at times in your prior 2-3 year relationship, when things were "good" you actually felt like there was something missing, but when things got rocky (maybe you even had a couple almost breakups?) then you would kick into high gear and push to really make things work! Your attraction would grow stronger. Likewise, daydreaming about a partnership with an aroace friend is tantalizing currently out of reach, but seemingly so feasible. I, as another reply recommended, recommend time. Time enough for self awareness. Seeing as this post is now a few months old, you've minimally had a few months. I'd maybe give yourself some more time with this new idea of limerence, too. I actually have limerent tendencies myself and am only just scratching the surface of living my life with the knowledge. Many sources demonize the condition and I really don't like that. I think limerence is an incredible and very real phenomenon. I think knowing about it helps someone who deals with it understand themselves more. I think it can actually be a great motivator in your life. I would be happy to help out as best I can, personally, with your journey if you want to reach out, but honestly, you will likely find a greater wealth of knowledge surfing the web or reading the few published books on the topic. I wish you the best of luck in this and any and all future endeavors β€οΈπŸ™
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