Cavaajia

Cheers!

23 minutes ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

That's why I think GRSM is a way better alternative to the acronym LGBTQIA+. like @2 Spirit Cherokee Princess says!

What do the letters in GRSM stand for?

Thank you

On 4/30/2022 at 5:35 AM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I totally understand what you're saying, OP, but this all seems rather insensitive to post. I'm no different from anyone else, yet I've been called everything from a "heartless robot" to a "sex-obsessed freak", simply for saying that I don't experience romantic attraction. (Even by my own friends and family!) Aros' struggles are largely dismissed, while we're pressured to develop feelings we don't experience. We also don't have any legal protections against discrimination based on our orientations, and must put our own identity and desires aside to conform to the system or experience things such as higher taxes, higher rent, difficulty obtaining loans or leases, lack of insurance, lack of legal rights for our loved ones, etc.

If you feel hurt by the pressures romantic society puts on people, that's totally understandable. That means you've discovered something called "amatonormativity": A term coined by professor Elizabeth Brake, which describes the way society puts monogamous romantic partnerships above all else. But just because you're hurt by the same system that we are doesn't mean we have it any better.

It's not "freeing" to wonder if you'll die alone. It's not "freeing" to be mocked by your peers. It's not "freeing" to not be able to afford a home that other people could. It's not "freeing" to be discriminated against in the adoption system if you choose to raise a child. It's not "freeing" to have to worry if the people you choose to have sex with will respect your boundaries, or if they'll harass you and accuse you of deceit for not giving them something you can't give. It's not "freeing" to be seen as a pervert simply for existing. It's not "freeing" to be told you need to go to therapy to make you "normal". It's not "freeing" to never see yourself represented in media as anything other than a villain or a flaw to be overcome. It's not "freeing" to ask for help and be told that you're making things up or just want attention. It's not "freeing" to be told there's something wrong with you for being who you are.

I'm sorry amatonormativity has hurt you, and I genuinely hope you can come to have a life that you enjoy, on your own terms and not anyone else's. But please recognize the respect you get that we don't, and don't project your hurt onto us. Thank you.

Hi I've only just logged on several months later as I'm not active much on here. I didn't mean to come off as insensitive or to hurt anyone here but evidently I have. I didn't know where else I should post this hence an aromantic forum. I don't have people I think I could speak to about something like this in real life. Thank you for your reply and making me aware. Cheers Edit: I would like to thank you for telling me as you have done me a huge favour as a learning experience.

It sounds so freeing to not think about people in a romantic way. I hate how getting a crush consumes my whole mind, my every thought. I want to treat someone differently just because I "like them." I think it turns me into a manipulator when I don't want to be. But then I wouldn't go do the same for my friends just because? I push friends to the wayside inadvertently if someone else is on my mind 24/7. Then I feel terribly lonely if I can't be with this person who's my "crush".

Despite this it's always bothered me how when someone will get into a relationship it seems that you often abandon your friends. I asked my brother once (he has a girlfriend) about people in relationships spending less time with friends and he was of the mindset "it's complicated/difficult." I don't think it's ok that we should push others aside.

I think friendship is the most beautiful thing because they seem like they outlast any romantic relationship and are there for you (the good ones at least) without demanding loyalty. You don't need to recite vows at a wedding to show commitment. 

Also why do we show more loyalty to romantic partners who we've known for way less time than friends? Perhaps I'm a cynic (no I am one!) but I look at marriages of family members and I'm like it's crazy you don't seem happy... ...my mum and dad have so many differences and there are complaints (but to be fair I haven't helped sometimes I stick my nose in where it's not my business), my aunt is getting divorced and I feel like deep down people hate each other?

Then there's the whole thig with affairs... ...I feel like if you commit to a relationship you are always in fear of getting close with others, you worry if you step across that line and aren't being loyal to a partner. Relationships seem so possessive and I'd feel trapped if I had to commit to one person.