Pyr

Zootopia TERRIFIED me. I was so scared by the thought that I or someone I loved could be instantly turned evil. 

2181

Maybe pronoun and name testers like this and this miight help you?

I'm not great at putting my thoughts into words, I hope this all makes sense to read! My wording also might not be perfect hhh

 

I've been thinking about this a lot too! Here are my thoughts on gender. Not sure if all of this is correct, but I'd like to know what you guys think! So here we go:

First of all, gender obviously isn't the body someone is born into; that's sex. 

Then, there are gender stereotypes/gender roles: women are expected to be soft, caring, pretty, etc., while on the other hand, men are expected to be aggressive, tough, and strategic. Women are supposed to modify their appearance and wear showy (and impractical) clothing to be attractive, while men are expected to look tough, with more simple, less revealing clothes.

But that's not gender either. Women can act and present masculine and vice versa. Many people (especially many trans people) bash these gender roles. So these ideas that only men have short hair, only women wear dresses and makeup, etc. don't define someone's gender. So, from this view, there isn't really difference between genders.

Another thing I've been considering is that in different parts of the world, gender roles were the same even though their culture developed completely differently. For example, around the world in ancient cultures, male people were often workers while female people raised their family and did less physical work. But this makes sense, because most men are physically stronger than women. 

I identify as a cis female but I have no idea why I do, and I'm really what's considered "feminine." I think I consider myself a girl because that's how I was raised, and that's what's most convenient for me. 

So, my point is: gender doesn't really exist

What do you all think? What's gender to you guys? And to the transgender people: How do you know you're transgender?

dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane

56

poll
(made 2 changes because I think we're stuck)

36

aegoromantic might also fit your description :)

Q: Can you answer this question with a question?

A: Neon green, of course.

"anyhow, pork pies"

6

I feel super similar to what you're describing! 

as Raye said, you don't need to worry about labels too much! Do whatever combo you're comfy with. 

(/hj) Also, why limit yourself to the binary of being either aroace or confused? You can be aroace and confused, like me!

I had seen a handful of asexual people, both online and in-person, before I started really getting into any SGRM stuff. Since I had a close friend who found out she was asexual when we were fairly young, I was under the impression that asexuality was super common and not a big deal. I thought (and still think) that I was mayyybeee asexual and didn't think much about it.

On the other hand, I spent. so long. questioning my aromanticism. I had never had a crush before; I wasn't sure if I was a late bloomer (and I'm still not sure), or if I was having crushes I didn't realize were crushes, or if I was aro-spec but I just hadn't found the perfect label yet. I wasn't even sure what I felt, and I thought I'd find the perfect little word to fit me. I discovered and searched through so many really obscure labels that no one's ever heard of.

Then eventually I found this site, and saw people telling others that they don't need such specific labels to convey their orientation/lack of orientation, and that not having labels to fit you doesn't mean you aren't valid. I started labeling myself as aromantic! 

I never had an "aha" moment, no moment where everything just clicked into place. It was more like "huh, maybe I'm aromantic but maybe I'm not."
 

Caller

Pallad

whisper

Being aro is overpowered in Truth or Dare-- if you pick truth, people will (almost) always ask you who your crush is. And then you can honestly say you don't have one.

12 hours ago, roboticanary said:

also is this a thing which has been happening to you for a while or did it just happen then?

I'm back! The site is working again for me now for some reason

I haven't logged on in some time, but I believe I had the same glitch when I briefly logged on 2-ish weeks ago.

I identify more strongly with aromanticism than asexuality. I feel like it effects my life more than asexuality. Similar to what nonmerci said, I'd describe myself as "aro" or "aroace", but probably not just "ace". I think that's partially because if I were to tell someone I was just ace, they'd probably assume I was allo. Plus I'm still (sorta??) questioning my sexual orientation.

Saw this same question on Aven based on this one, and most people there felt more ace than aro, which makes sense

This happens to me also, I make a lot of male friends and i hate when people ship us, jokingly or not.

If you're out as arospec you can try pulling out that card. Hope you find a way out

Totally valid. You can look into the terms arofluid, arospike, and frayromantic-- all sound somewhat like what youre describing. And of course there's umbrella terms like arospec and greyromantic!

Nice job! Very well written and interesting.

Oh yeah I saw that book a few months ago and checked it out for the same reasons. It was a pretty good short read, and nice to see aroace representation in books for younger audiences.

As a reply to Deltalorian-- yes totally! Tbh Padme was great character until she started loving anakin.

Something I see a lot in books is when the author just throws all the characters into relationships at the very end! Harry potter has this,so does the King of Scars series. (king of scars spoilers ahead) I headcanned Zoya as aroace, because she said and thought a lot of aro stuff throught the book but then apparently she loved Nikolai the whole time? (SHe even specifically thinks something along the lines of, "I'm not like Nikolai. He's a romantic, I'm not.") So normally I just tell myself that theyre just confused about their feelings, and that the relationshipbwill fail. Still gonna say that Zoya is aro.