aroconfusion

I've been in a QPR with my best friend for a few months now. I'm aroace and they are allo, but they are very understanding towards me and I think they understand clearly what a QPR is. But well they are allo - meaning eventually they might have a romantic relationship in the future. I have some abandonment issues, I've had people leave me for their romantic partners before and I'm so scared of it happening again. I've been thinking about it a lot and I feel sick. We've talked about it with my partner before too and they have reassured me I'm important to them and that they would still make time for me, but... I know how romantic relationships can change people. I've seen it before. And I do trust them, I want to trust them. I just don't trust romance :/ I don't want to be the second best again..