Skittles87

Gone Girl. 

It goes without saying that the book is better, but the film is pretty good too. I won't say too much about the plot because it's twisty, but basically it's about a couple who get together and everything's good, and then one of them mysteriously disappears.

I'm aroace, but since I occasionally get squishes I've noticed that I do have a "type". I'm drawn to people with:

- Expressive faces

- Funny, lively, extroverted personalities (I'm super-introverted btw)

- ADHD. Seriously, it has happened too often for it to be a co-incidence.

Looks don't seem to come into it, unless you count expressiveness as aesthetic. 

10 hours ago, Jedi said:

It shows up in old tales and norse mythology,

That's so cool! I did wonder if it was based on an old tradition.

There's the whole "blood brothers" thing, where you make a small cut on your hand and your bestie does the same, then you hold hands so the blood mixes and then you're brothers for life (or sisters, or siblings). 

Not exactly hygienic, and I've no idea where it comes from. When I was little some of the tougher kids would do this. The rest of us would just spit in our hands and be spit sisters or spit brothers instead!

Definitely more of a private thing than a public ceremony, on account of all the bodily fluids! 

I just watched No Country for Old Men and couldn't see a hint of romance in it. There's a married couple but no mushy stuff between them. As to why it's worth watching, these movie nerds can explain it better than I could: https://www.quora.com/What-makes-No-Country-For-Old-Men-a-great-film 

On 7/6/2020 at 8:37 PM, nonmerci said:

I think Diana from Anne with an E may be somewhere on the aro spectrum. Maybe that's just because I would enjoy a character from this show to be so. But she doesn't seem very interested in romance for herself, in particularly compared to the other girls who all want to date. She only noticed and showed interest in Jerry after Jerry offered to walk her home (which was considered romantic if I understood; she was suprised to find him ready to walk with her). And as the actress who played her said herself, Diana may have kissed him, but she wasn't in love with him : she only dated him because he is from a different world and be with him gave her an illusion of freedom : she escaped her house and all its rules. But when she realized how different they are, she didn't enjoy his company anymore because they have nothing to talk about. And when she compares her experience to other girls, it was clear for her she didn't love him.

So she may noot be aro, but if it was revealed she was on the spectrum, I wouldn't be surprised.

Also, she and Anne can be seen as QPPs, totally.

I love the idea of Diana being arospec. I haven't watched "Anne with an E" but I remember a scene from the book where Anne and her friends are all writing lots of stories together. There's one girl who puts "too much lovemaking" in her stories, but Diana puts in too many murders, haha!

I'm excited about this book but I kinda hate the title!

On 3/23/2020 at 9:22 PM, AirConditioner said:

Another one is Common Bonds: A Speculative Aromantic Anthology,

Unfortunately publication has been delayed due to coronavirus. There's a story of mine in this anthology so I can't wait for it to come out!

For me, I find it difficult to untangle the two. With kissing, for example (and I mean snogging, with tongues, not a peck on the cheek) I can't tell if it's gross because it feels sexual, or because it's so strongly romantically coded.

I just finished The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers and found it very aro-friendly.

It's basically a space opera, focusing on a multi-species crew who fly around creating wormholes. There's a real found-family dynamic amongst the crew, with a couple of particularly strong male-female friendships. There are a few romantic relationships but none are boring or cheesy.

SPOILERS

Interestingly, one is an f/f relationship between a human woman and an alien whose species doesn't have any drive to pair up. The alien (Sissix) could easily be read as aromantic and/or polyamorous.

Sneaky pride - I like it!

I'm a writer. I've never found it particularly hard to write romance because there's so much of it in the media, I know how it's "supposed" to feel. But I generally give more weight to platonic relationships because I get more emotionally invested in them.

Also, I recently wrote a blog post about aromantic characters (or lack thereof) in fiction: https://corastillwrites.wordpress.com/ 

I recommend anything by Zadie Smith. She writes brilliantly about friendship and also writes very honestly about sex, but I've never read anything of hers that really focuses on romantic love. In one of her short pieces, she admits to having no interest in writing conventional love stories.

My two favourites are:

The novel NW (focuses on a friendship between two women who grow up together but take different paths in life).

The short story Sentimental Education (a coming-of-age type story that shows she can write male friendship just as well as female friendship).

On ‎1‎/‎2‎/‎2020 at 10:18 PM, honeypandan said:

I made the term "a-romantic" for fun after finding out about asexuality

OMG I did this too! I was so excited when I found out it was a real thing.

On 11/1/2019 at 5:58 PM, LBMango said:

Do most animals experience what we would call romantic attraction? That seems like a uniquely human thing...

Yeah, I reckon it's a uniquely human thing but some animals do form pair-bonds. And since most humans pair-bond with romantic partners, it looks like romantic attraction to a (non-aro) human.

A British politician put her foot in it and it led to this article about giraffe sexuality. ?

https://www.theguardian.com/science/shortcuts/2019/oct/29/99-per-cent-giraffes-gay-loving-looks-misunderstood

I've had mixed experiences with coming out. With a couple of friends it was a non-issue because they already knew I wasn't "romantically inclined", they just didn't know aromanticism was a thing. One or two friends were positive and accepting. One "friend" accepted it, then asked me to be his girlfriend about a week later, so clearly something went wrong there.

I've never regretted it, but there are plenty of people I'm not properly "out" to, including family. If I suspect someone is going to be shitty about it, I don't bother telling them.

Do you mean non-fiction books about aromanticism, or fiction books with aro characters?

I don't know of any non-fiction books I'm afraid, though I do know of some fiction with aro characters.

Either way, we need more! 

On 9/14/2019 at 9:42 AM, nonmerci said:

Congratulations!

Thank you!

On 2/17/2019 at 4:41 PM, Skittles87 said:

Aha, this looks like the perfect thread to post this. 

It's a kickstarter-funded anthology of speculative short stories and poems, centered around aro characters and platonic relationships. If you're interested in submitting a short story or poem, here's a link to the submissions page. https://commonbondsantho.com/call-for-submissions/

A little update on this anthology - I'm getting a story published in it, hooray hooray hooray! 

On 8/8/2019 at 3:20 AM, treepod said:

And finally, I just finished watching the recent tv adaptation of Good Omens. I get particularly mixed feelings here. On the one hand, I totally get why people really really love shipping Crowley and Aziraphale because their dynamic is such a good mix of comical shenanigans and genuinely touching moments. But while I was watching the way they interacted over the course of the show, instead of hoping they'd kiss, I was just thinking "wow I want whatever this is real bad" (speaking as someone who's hoping for a QPR type of thing in my own life). Like, I'm really invested in how their relationship develops in canon, but I don't feel the need to imagine it going any """further""" because it's already my ideal situation. But the fandom is downright obsessed with them as a romantic and sexual thing. Like it's literally all there is. The whole "ineffable husbands" thing gives me war flashbacks straight to 2014 johnlock. Yeesh... ?

 

I was literally just moaning on Twitter about this.

Good Omens: "angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort".

Me: "So Aziraphale's asexual, right?"

Good Omens fandom: "Wrong. Here's some porn."

I know shippers are gonna ship, but it is frustrating. And the Riverdale thing is not OK at all because that's not just people writing shippy fanfic, it's professional writers getting paid to erase a queer character's identity.

It doesn't really matter how you feel about people. Treat them well and you're a good person. Treat them badly and you're a bad person. I know that sounds really simplistic, but I honestly don't see how feelings are ever more important than actions when it comes to morality.

"Soulmate" by Lizzo is all about being your own soulmate.  

6 hours ago, eOrion said:

Michael from The Good Place

"Kissing is gross, you just mash your food-holes together!"

I actually enjoy a good romantic movie, especially romantic comedies. But I've seen some pretty dire ones, and my personal least-favourite is "He's Just Not That Into You".

There isn't much of a plot - it's just a bunch of people and their romantic entanglements. What made it so irritating is the relentless sexist stereotyping. Despite the women being beautiful and intelligent with interesting careers, they are all total messes without a man to depend on. They're portrayed as clingy, needy and desperate, while the men are all emotionally-constipated and commitment-phobic. Bleurgh.

Also, the fourth Twilight movie. A teenage girl gets knocked up with a vampire baby that makes her all emaciated and weak and damn-near kills her - I just think it would work better as a horror movie than a romance.