launchpadtriumphant

1 hour ago, Untamed Heart said:

Same, kind of. I do get crushes, but if I start a relationship I usually can't feel a whole lot towards the other person and end up feeling anxious and trapped. I tried to force the little shreds of feeling I had for my ex to sort of coalesce and grow into something I could sustain, but I just ended up feeling really ill. Like, anxious, confused and so depressed my boss called me to the office one morning to ask what was wrong, a few weeks before I got the courage to end it. He was truly lovely, but man, I've never been so relieved to break up with someone.

I get where you're coming from; that's happened to me so many times I feel that it's best to just stay detached and try to get laid whenever I can to at least fulfill that part of my life.

Starting when I was around 13 or 14, I would just start faking romantic attraction toward people who told me they were attracted to me (those people are and always have been few and far between, but still) because I would always hope that maybe this next person would be the one who actually makes me feel something if I just tried hard enough. 

That hasn't really worked out.