humantoafault

Anytime I see someone talk about how badly they want a relationship--can't relate

So the times I have been romantically attracted to people it's been more or less a recipromantic or demiromantic deal--my last crush developed after knowing someone for two or three years.

I used to have a bit more interest in romance, at least I thought it sounded like a nice concept and I used to like the idea of marriage. These days, I just don't care anymore. So while I'm definitely not aro, I'm starting to consider myself greyromantic. Under certain circumstances, such as someone telling me they like me or knowing someone for a long time and developing those feelings, I conceivably could see myself developing feelings and maybe even acting on them. But other than that I don't really care anymore.

I think if I had felt the way I do now since my teens, I would identify as demiromantic. Cuz these days I'm just. So generally apathetic about romance, outside of fiction. (Though I do have one active crush, but it's kinda in the background and I'll never act on it since the object of said crush is taken.) 
But I did have crushes (one big one and maybe two very small ones), in my late teens, without the waiting period required to identify as demi. (I identify as recipromantic because those crushes started only after I thought they had feelings for me.) My current crush developed over a significant amount of time (which follows the demi thing), my first few didn't though.

I don't consider my recipromanticicism on the grey spectrum, for me at least--because I also had some general desire for a romantic relationship, even if only a little. These days I think even my "desire for romantic relationships" might be even smaller than it already was. I really like being single, whoohoo.

On 8/28/2018 at 4:09 PM, Tagor said:

At least this is what this TED talk seems to suggest. The whole talk is interesting, but here's a transkript of the applying part:

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So anyway, we found activity in three brain regions. We found activity in the brain region, in exactly the same brain region associated with intense romantic love. What a bad deal. You know, when you've been dumped, the one thing you love to do is just forget about this human being, and then go on with your life -- but no, you just love them harder. As the poet Terence, the Roman poet once said, he said, "The less my hope, the hotter my love." And indeed, we now know why. Two thousand years later, we can explain this in the brain. That brain system -- the reward system for wanting, for motivation, for craving, for focus -- becomes more active when you can't get what you want. In this case, life's greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.

 

Huh. Can't relate. When my crushes have no interest in me,I move on with no looking back. At least, the time or two I have had crushes. (I had thought they were interested in me because they kept talking to and paying attention to me, which is how my crush started, but when it became apparent they weren't into me, I was just like. Oh,okay. Whatever.)

I identify as bisexual and recipromantic