BuySomeCheese

Could I join?

Absolutely you can be!! There are plenty of other types of attraction- platonic, aesthetic, familial, etc.- and those can have orientions to them if you want!! There are also orientated aroaces, and plenty of people identify as another attraction label as well as aroace!!!

Honestly I'm in a very similar boat lmao, except I know for sure its not romantic. Technically, you could be in a QPR with them while they're in a romantic relationship, so I feel like its worth asking after. Like there are polyam romantic relationships, a QPR and romantic relationship at the same time with different people sounds like it'd be a similar concept y'know?

Personally I just kind of. Suffer? Not in a bad way of course, but i'm not going to tell her or anything anytime soon so I'll just keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die (not really I'll do something with them before that but. /ref y'know lmao). I've made some playlists and Silly poems, a Pinterest board, that type of thing to be able to at least put my feelings *somewhere*

Homie

I mean I definately get this but only sometimes lol, you might find it beneficial to check out QPRs (queer-platonic relatiionships). I would explain them but I'm right about to go to sleep lmao, if you want I could try and explain a bit in the morning

As ArseNick said, body language is super super important!! I read a while ago that men take up more space, if there were an invisible line on the ground women tend to walk on the line and men walk with a foot on either side if that makes sense? When you’re walking around, try to match the steps of guys walking in front of you. It feels stupid at first but it really helped me feel better.

Sports bras in general are really good, just follow basic rules of binding with that and be safe (don’t wear two sports bras for more than 8 hours, take one or both off if it hurts at all, try not to do any exercise, don’t sleep with two sports bras on, etc.)

For showers, I shower with the light off and music on (loudly). Be careful with this please, especially if you’re clumsy or prone to tripping or something

Be safe, and take care!!! I found a lot of silly little tips that actually help me feel better myself on Pinterest, so maybe check there?

I mean feelings and identity are fluid, so its totally normal to change like that. Idk what alloflux is or why it would be different from aroflux, they seem like the same thing? But aroflux is more descriptive because alloflux could be alloromantic or allosexual. There're a few identities like recipromantic and fictormantic, I can't give definitions rn because I'm in class but maybe look those up? But like the labels you identify with might change 800 times because orientation is fluid and all labels try to do is fit indescribable feelings into common boxes (nothing agaisnt labels, I love 'em, these are just observations)

Also to me at least your soft romo relationship just sounds like a healthy one with maybe some polyamorous feellings mixed in? 

I wish you luck!!!

I’m not on AVEN, but that might be a good place? It’s for aspecs but from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of allo acespecs who would’ve probably thought about romantic attraction more in-depth than allo-allos? But other than that idk, sorry

There are some “queerplatonic relationship forms” or something that can be found, I tired linking one but it said the attachment was too big. Maybe look into one of those?

I tend to be a big fan of shorter more feminine people, who are curvy/chubby and could absolutely beat me up if they wanted to but they don’t they just want to because they just wanna be taken care of lmao

I love looking like a 12 year old boy, but otherwise I’m a big fan of soft grunge, light academia, sk8er boi stuff, and like naturecore I think

I like Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, it reminds me of my best friend and I a lot even though it’s romantic coded and we are Platonic lmao

I can almost always tell when someone has a crush on me, before they tell me most of the time. Something about their vibe changes and it’s only been wrong like twice- once I thought someone liked me when they didn’t, and once the opposite happened

I love cuddling with (most of) my friends!! There’s one group I have where we love piling up on top of each other and it’s a super great time (especially for me who’s often on the bottom, one of my comfort stims is pressure and that’s the best kind lmao). I don’t like sleeping with them though (like spooning and stuff, not sex)

There’s also my best friend who I absolutely love love cuddling with so much, and I love sleeping with her so much. Her bed is super comfy, first of all, and she just. Fits perfectly in my arms? It’s great and wonderful and I love her so much. (/p)

I do definately want kids, so I'll leave a lot to them (and my grand-kids or in-laws, depending on how old I am when I die). Hopefully my younger brother, too, and maybe some of my half-siblings if we get closer over our lifetimes. My younger cousins and extended family will get things, and I'll probably end up leaving things to my close friends and charities. I don't know what will go to each person, because I don't know what I'll have when I die and I currently have no money lol. If I have a committed relationship(s) then those will be prioritized along with my kids, but I don't see that happening

Idk if you want label suggestions in response to this, but to me your experience sounds a bit like a combination of frayromantic and recipromantic maybe?

Frayromantic (ignotaromantic)- someone who feels romantic attraction only to people they’re not deeply connected with, and they loose that attraction as they get closer. Often seen as “the opposite of demiromantic”

Recipromantic- someone who only feels romantic attraction to someone who is romantically attracted to them first

You both might want to look into QPRs (or queerplatonic realtionships), and looking into alterous or queerplatonic attraction might be helpful for him. 
I think y’all might also want to talk about whether or not you prioritize your crushes/dates over him, y’know? Let him know that he’s not “standing in the way” of anything, and I understand that he doesn’t like talking about this but I strongly encourage it, especially with how important this relationship seems to be to both of you

Probably Shadow Walkers by Brent Hartinger, it's objectively not a great book but it's an easy read and it's always there for me when I need it. Also, I unknowingly stole half of my personality from one of the charachters (Emory) when I was in 5th grade lmao

2 hours ago, Emerald Cheetah said:

Is your username buysomecheese???

That is me, yup!!

On 7/9/2021 at 1:13 PM, Gabriel14 said:

Oh this is so exciting!! I’ll add it to my server list later today when I get on my laptop, thank you for setting this up for us!!!!

So when I said this I accidentally lied lol, I put in the wrong IP and then just. Didn't try again for some reason? But I finally got on for a few minutes tonight (not that lont, I have hw) and omgs everyone's builds are so so cool I love it so much

Yea, unfortunately it seems like they might have a crush on you. The only thing I can think of doing in this scenario is either communicate how you feel about him and hope xe gets it (which they should, eventually), distance yourself a bit (not all the way!! Just enough so that they hopefully get the message), or like idk lie about wanting a qpr with a few specific but vague people? Which I don't suggest that one at all lol sounds like it'd end up in a DEH situation.

The way you're feeling is completely valid and I'd be feeling the same way in your position. I know it's scary, but I think you might benefit greatly from telling xem about how you're feeling. They might not like it much at first but since y'all are best friends, he should be able to prioritize the already existing relationship over a hypothetical one.

And honestly I might be completely wrong, but regardless of how you choose to handle this I hope it works out best for both of you!!! /gen

Oh this is so exciting!! I’ll add it to my server list later today when I get on my laptop, thank you for setting this up for us!!!!

It’s looking pretty good so far!!! I like the “don’t take others’ stuff” rule, maybe extend that to general griefing? Like no destruction of others’ property/buildings and such?

Ohh I love this idea, I play Java personally. I’m kinda bad at Minecraft ngl, but it’s so much fun to play with people, and a server would be really nice for those of us who can’t meet irl or do the Google Meets, y’know?

I identifyed as polyamorous before I found out I was aro, now I use both lol. I definately want more than one QPP in a relationship resembling a polycule, and I hope you and your partner can find other partners that work for you!!!

(Also, love your pfp! I've been trying to get back into Sanders Sides recently but there's just so much for me to catch up on lol)