Rapture189

Hi, so I recently started thinking about my past love life and realized that while I was in relationships, I always felt horrible and my stomach would start to turn pretty regularly for reasons I can't quite explain. I would be home alone and start crying because I had this ideal of a good relationship and not only would I not have it, but I felt like I might not truly want it. These relationships never lasted more than a month because I would be in so much stress that either I would end it quickly or my partner would. Despite this, I don't ever feel lonely romantically and I feel somewhere between neutral and negative about starting a new relationship. I do feel sexual attraction but I'm never infatuated with anyone. I just notice certain traits that I am attracted to sexually but it's never about a certain individual. For a long time, I thought it was weird but I never put too much thought into because it simply wasn't that important to me. I'm curious if this sounds familiar to anyone and if so, what your thoughts are on my situation. Any feedback will be greatly apreciated. Thanks!