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Kit

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    Romantic vs Platonic Love

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    4 hours ago, vinniebandit said:

    Perhaps something relevant can be found in this ? https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=7728&context=etd

    and this https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1005514.pdf

    amongst which:  To understand falling out of romantic love, or love dissolution, there needs to be an understanding of the term romantic love. Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person. I do not describe a relationship as romantic love if the couple does not experience their attachment as passionate or intense, at least to some significant extent. I do not describe a relationship as romantic love if there is not some experience of spiritual affinity, some deep mutuality of values and outlook, some sense of being "soul mates"; if there is not deep emotional involvement; if there is not a strong sexual attraction. And if there is not mutual admiration-if, for example, there is mutual contempt instead-again I do not describe the relationship as romantic love. (Branden, l980, p. 3)

    I don't really understand what the quote is saying but I already dislike it because it just says "between a man and a woman" lol. Sure it was 1980 when that person said it, but still.

    • Like 1

    Romantic vs Platonic Love

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    17 hours ago, Rolo said:

     

    • Polyamory exists, as do possessive and jealous friendships.

    THIS!! Not exactly fitting for the topic rn but I always was told you can't be jealous in a friendship etc etc. But heck, you absolutely can! That has nothing to do with romantic feelings for the person. Ofc not jealous as in "ME OR THEM" stuff but like "you got less and less time for me and that makes me sad" kind of feeling yk? I also often experienced it when friends got into a relationship and literally forgot about me. That made me a bit jealous cuz their attention was only focused on their new partner. I just missed hanging out with them and was jealous of their partner for being able to spend time with them.

    Well that were my 2ct to this. Thanks for reading,lol. Have a nice Day!?

    • Like 2

    Hello! >0<

    in Welcome And Forum Rules

    Posted

    Hi hi!

    I'm Kit, 22 years old agender transboy from germany. I've been identifying as asexual for almost 2 years now. Just recently found out about the agender stuff tho! I use agender transboy because even tho I'm agender I like to be seen as boy in public etc. Doesn't change the fact I don't feel like I have a gender at all!

    I've been questioning my romantic orientation since quite a while. I'm pretty sure I'm on the aro spectrum but no idea where exactly. 

    I'm having a hard time finding out what romantic attraction is and to know if I ever experienced it. I have had some "crushes" but they could've been just platonically or sensual/aesthetic. I've had this butterfly in stomach nervous feeling thing but man,I've got social anxiety and a avoidant personality disorder with borderline personality disorder traits so was is romantic attraction,my anxiety or my personality disorder?lol 

    When I hear people talking about romantic attraction or see it in movies I can't always relate cuz a lot of stuff that's displayed there is just platonic for me. I do think I experience alterous attraction which might be also part of why I thought my crushes were romantic? 

    I'd love it if someone could help me figuring it out. Am I aromantic or not?

     

    To make it a short list:

    • i experienced butterflies in my stomach, nervousness around them but haven't had a desire to go out on dates or something. if all i just wanted to spend time with them but somehow also not.

     • when I entered a relationship i felt like my freedom was taken away,because I knew my partner had some expectations from me and what's usually common in a romantic relationship but I felt like I couldn't meet this expectations cuz I didn't felt the same way they did 

    • in my 22 years on this earth i think i had 3 situations in which I thought it was a crush 

    • i don't wanna marry,dunt want children and don't want to live together with someone. I enjoy being alone. I could never stand it seeing one person every day,almost 24/7 and when sharing my stuff with them and including them in my plans etc lol ( does that sound harsh??)

    • i do experience aesthetic and sensual attraction really strong. As well as I experience alterous attraction. This could be the reason why I thought my previous crushes were romantic?

    • despite all i like being in a committed relationship with someone I think fondly off. If i enter a relationship with them it's probably because I enjoy their company and they don't annoy me. Like i feel safe with them and trust them.

     

    I can't think of anything to write down rn so I guess that's it for now! Hope you can help me out a bit!?

     

     

     

    Do you describe yourself with terms like romance-repulsed/indifferent/favorable?

    in Aromantic Relationships

    Posted

    I describe myself as romance-favorable cuz i love cute and fluff stuff haha. A lot of things that are displayed as romance-coded are just platonically for me but I think I can understand why some people make it seen as romantic..i guess?

    I'm pretty open about a relationship that includes romance-coded stuff and that would be seen as a romantic relationship. It's just important for me that me and my partner know that even though it's a romantic relationship i don't experience romantic attraction so my partner won't have unnecessary expectations.

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