Gemi

 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town' and 'Where Are You Christmas' are my two favourites.  

I loved both, since I was a kid.

In real life, I'd be uncomfortable, when it's directed at me. I just simply want it to go away. I don't mind PDA, also long as it's not kissing. Relationship talk tends to bores me and makes me feel awkward. The only time I'm interested, is if it's for my friends or family sake. 

Fictional wise it depends, live action, I've never really like it. I do watch rom-coms, but I watch it more for the comedy and story.  I remember watching The 5th Wave in theatres. The moment it suddenly turned from world apocalypse into a typical teen romance, I was ticked off. It ended up, ruining the whole movie for me. I've avoided most teen romance movies that come out. (I've sucked up and watched a few, for my friend.) 

Book/fanfic and animated wise, I can ignore it as long as it doesn't over take the story.

14 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

I have realized that instead of having a romantic partner in the future, I would be perfectly happy and content with a very close best friend, QPP, or maybe even a group of close friends. 

This was a conclusion I also came to, before I identified as aromantic.

14 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

Honestly, I am still young, so I could just be going through a phase, but right now, aromantic seems plausible and fits very well.

It's quite possible, it's a phase. If you choose to identify as aromantic, but later realize you're not , that's fine. Life is confusing and people commonly misidentify themselves all the time, it happens.

Honestly, do as much research as you can. The more you know, will help in the long run.

Didn't ever know there was name for that.

Ever since I identified as aro, I realized I've never liked being touched by people. 

I've always hated being hugged and especially kissed, by people. I would only allow my family or close friends to hug me, just to give them a few seconds of happiness or comfort. Though, they have to ask or make an indication they want one, because I won't make the first move.  

I won't touch a stranger, unless it's necessary (like a hand shake or tap on the shoulder). 
 

You're definitely not alone on this one.

Welcome!

As someone who has recently figured out their aro, but also reads romance fiction or watches it. Yeah, it feels weird , especially when you just realized you're an aromantic. It's also why I had some doubts being aro at first, even though the term instantly clicked with me. As I've seen, some have put it as, getting your romance fix or playing as a character. Also we watch or read of lot of things, because it's interesting or entertaining, doesn't mean we want it to happen to us. It's funny how we don't realize this, until someone else points it out.

I completely understand the struggle of explaining your aro and ace to others. It was difficult enough to tell and explain to my best friend. I knew she will accept me, though, I don't think she has completely understood, that I'm never gonna feel romantic attraction. I have yet to gain the courage to tell my parents. It's not a simple thing to explain sadly.  It may get a little easier, once the world becomes more aware. 

As for telling the ex. It's better off you don't tell them, unless they try to approach you for another chance. Even then, you don't really have to, a simple "I'm not interested", should be enough. The news, isn't gonna bring you two back together, it's not gonna change the fact they have to move on. 

On 11/29/2020 at 7:13 PM, Guest Dr. Robot. said:

Hello, 

I came here because I think I’m aromantic, but I’m feeling confused, and wanted to hear people’s thoughts on it.

I’m confused because when I realized I was bisexual, it just clicked, and I realized I’d known that for as long as I can remember on some level.

With aromanticism, I feel like I have to prove it to myself, because it’s not clicking like my bisexuality did.

The reasons I think I’m aromantic are:

-I’ve been in several long term relationships, and I’m almost always the one to end it.  I never feel like I love the other person, and I’m always unhappy in the relationship after a few months tops. I just used to think I was emotionally broken or something was wrong with me.

-The most happy I’ve been with another person is when I’ve had friends with benefits type situations where I’ve been very upfront about my not being able to have something romantic.

-The times I can think of where I felt what I thought was romance, I now think are I was either in the closet and trying to be straight, or it was lust.

-I’ve never wanted to get married, or thought about growing old with someone.

The reasons I’m questioning if I’m aromantic or not are:

-I’ve been dumped a few times, and it’s really fucking hurt. I also feel guilty when I break up with someone, and that really hurts too, but I figured that could just be guilt (I hate breaking up with someone more than anything in the world). I feel like if I’m aromantic, why does it hurt so much when a relationship ends?

-I don’t feel romance repulsed. I have my fair share of criticisms regarding cultural focus on romance and marriage, but I’ve never felt confused by romantic acts, or grossed out from typical acts of romance.

-The fact that instead of it just clicking with me like my bisexuality, it’s more so just the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I have this worry that I’ll identify as aromantic, and I won’t really be, and it’ll do some sort of harm to the aromantic community.

I know this is pretty long, but I’ve struggled with this for a while now, and if there’s anyone that ends up reading this or sharing their thoughts, I sincerely appreciate you doing so.

Thank you.

 

As some one who recently found out their aromantic a month ago, I understand your worry about offending the community. I had the same worry too, but after I did more research on aromantic. I was then confident, that's what I am. Though regardless it's ok call yourself aromantic, but realize later it doesn't fit. It happens. It's no different than a person who thought they were bisexual, only to realize they weren't.

As for the break up part, it usually does hurt both parties, no matter the reason or who broke it off. It hurts because, you thought or hope it would work out, only to realize it won't. It also doesn't help knowing it's gonna hurt the other.

Something to clear up. Not all aromatics are repulsed by romance completely.  There are spectrums. Some aromantics, simply can't feel any romantic attractions towards another person. Some feel only a little romantic attraction. Or some can't feel any romantic attraction, if the person shows romantic interest first. They can also still like romantic things, but simply have no desire to experience it themselves.

There's one  spectrum called Lithromantic / Aporomantic / Akoi(ne)romantic

"1. Describes a person who can feel romantic attraction towards others and enjoys romantic relationships in theory, but does not need that affection to be reciprocated or to be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards."

"2.Describes a person who may stop feeling romantic attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it."

You can look here to see if any of these seem to work  https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms

For the click, not everyone feels that. The only reason I feel, I felt a click, was because I already had the term in my head, but had no word to match it to, at the time. I'm also asexual, but when I first read the term there wasn't a click, it wasn't until I did more research that I realized, I was in fact asexual.

The big thing here is do more research, this will help make things clearer.

I'm 26  and realized I was aro, about a month ago. 

I don't ever recall planning my wedding as a kid. Maybe acting out a wedding,  when playing with dolls, but this is probably more of kid me coping what I saw in movies or tv.

Kids were always a maybe for me, but even back then, I was positive I would adopt. I never understood the need to have kids biologically, when there are so many out there,  that can be loved just as much, looking for a family. 

As for the "husband", never really visuals one. If asked I would say a nice man, but this was back when I assumed I would cross the bridge some day, because that was the "norm".

On 6/16/2019 at 11:12 AM, BlueKumul said:

Twilight. Bella wants to alienate herself from the entire human civilisation and become a blood-sucking demonic entity to please her romantic partner. She's an idiot, yet the viewer is supposed to empathise with her.

Yeah, that's defiantly on the list of one of the worst.

Though, Adventureland (comedy/romance/drama) would be my number 1 worst. This was back when Twilight, just got popular. My friend had to see this movie, because the actress from Twilight was in it. Worst movie I ever watched. I like romantic comedies (mostly for the comedy), but this was just painful to watch. I would rather watch Twilight again, over Adventureland.

Ok real late to the party, but I love riddles! Anyways, riddles tend to have the simplest answers.

So, I'm gonna say it was a mirage or hallucination.  Everything listed in the riddle isn't possible all at once, unless it was a mirage or hallucination. Mirages or hallucination don't need to make sense, they're illusions that deceive your eyes and mined.

Nope!

TPBM watched Pokemon, in their childhood.

YMBAI you played dolls/pretend with your friends and your doll/character never has a boyfriend/girlfriend. 
It's funny because, this didn't dawn on me, until after I realized I was aro and thinking of signs during childhood/teenhood. 

YMBAI your best friend has to ask if you're gay, because you never dated anyone and your thought process is, "Well, I don't seem to be attracted to the same gender, so I must like the opposite gender!"
Honestly, this should have been the moment, I realized something just wasn't adding up and start researching. Curse my obliviousness.

Man, they're so many signs, that I was aro as kid and teen.

Sign 1: Never understood others crushes on classmates or a celebs. Usually my friends would have crush on this one classmate, but all I would see was just a classmate or possibly another friend. Remember 'High School Musical'? A few friends had a crush on Zac Efron, back then. I remember covering my ears and cringing as they screech, when he appears on screen. Had absolutely no clue, what they were seeing and just didn't get it.

Sign 2: When I played dolls with my friends, my doll never had a boyfriend, unlike my friend's dolls. Even when we were playing a storyline from a fandom, I could never act out a romantic relationship with two of the characters. My friend always had to do it.  I'm wondering how I didn't notice until now.

Sign 3: I never had a crush, not even on a celeb.  Classmates? Well, they were just classmates to me, some I wanted to be friends with. Celeb? I love their work and it would be cool to get to know them.  
I use to make the excuse that, I maybe just haven't found the right one or I would need to get to know them first. But once I was in my 20's I started to question myself a bit.

Sign 4: When someone says they like me. I have two reactions, complete confusion and think "Why?" or  Oh, please no.

Sign 5: Never jumping on the teen romance book/movie bandwagon.  Remember Twilight, Divergent, Mortal Instruments, Fault in Our Stars, Love Simon? I had no desire to read the books, even though everyone around me was. I saw some of the movies, due to a friend or cousin who wanted to see it. The only thing I liked about Twilight, was the take on the vampires and werewolves.
Not gonna lie, watching people go from "loving" Twilight, to absolutely hating it, was quite hilarious.

Sign 6: Could never figure out what my "type" is.  My friends could have a list of things that would make someone their type. I however, could only come up with,  is nice, has humour and things in common. The rest was lost to me.