Idk if this thred is ded, but hi, hello, I'm also questioning as lithro. When I first started questioning, I did the appropriate Gen Z thing and scoured the internet for memes about the identity. And I think that the memes about lithromanticism say a lot:
1. The identity is underrepresented as shit. I get that it's a tiny minority, but for real. There are like 3 lithromantic memes on the internet, and two of them are comics. Come on people, we can do better than that lol
2. We're aware of the underrepresentation. This is clear, i think, bc half the memes are just explanations of the identity. I feel like the creators are either venting their self-discovery story (i think that finding ur identity feels more special when the identity is little-known, because it's more surprising or can take longer to discover it), educating questioning lithros (because it might be the only way baby-lithros ever learn their identity), or educating non-lithros to spread understanding (because there's not much understanding, obv). Educating others is great, telling ur self-discovery story is great. This is all great. It just makes me sad that we have to focus so so much on explaining and justifying ourselves and grasping at visibility. I'd love if we could make some content for ourselves. (I know there are some great lithro memes like this. I just wish there were more.)
3. We hate being lithromantic. This one is the worst, i think. I personally hoped for memes that displayed pride, and showed that a lithromantic could live a happy life. Instead, i found #lithromanticproblems. And guess what. The problem most lithros have with being lithro is being lithro. "That moment when your attraction fades lol." Idk, it makes me sad. Yes, it can suck to be lithro. But what if all the memes about lesbians were "That awful moment when you're a woman attracted to women lol?" Like, no. That seems like internalized homophobia and shame, not pride. I get that it's good to talk about the disappointment, but I'd also like to talk about how great it is to be lithro.
Such as....
- We don't have to deal with the complications of actually being in a relationship.
- Once we acknowledge that romance isn't in the cards for us, there's no pressure for us to pursue it.
- We can focus mostly on other relationships, like friendships (this applies to a lot of the aro/ace community, i think).
- We still get the dopamine-inducing experience of having crushes. Legit, just having a crush can reduce stress and increase self-esteem.
- We can find ways to fulfill our own needs without romance, which some alloromantic people never learn how to do. We learn that romance isn't goin to make our lives perfect, and we can live fantastic lives without it.
Basically what I'm saying is, can we make some memes about that stuff? ? Ok thank you for listening to my meme ramble, byeeeee
HAHAHAHAHA I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Yeah man, we shoud be proud of ourselves. Of course, it is not easy, especially when you never had been in a simliar situation before, but it's completely possible if you try.
When I first realized that I was asexual AND sex repulsed, I had such a hard time trying to accept myself... but now I'm really proud of being asexual! It's been 4 years since I found myself asexual, and, then, a few weeks ago, I sarted to realize that most of my ''relationship problems'' wasn't because I'm asexual, but because I must be aromantic too. I alredy knew the term litho and akoi, because of the ace commutity, but I always tried to run away of this possibility.
But in the beggining of this damn year, I have been almost in a relationship. Like... the person liked me back, and then, my feelings started to change. I always tought it was because I was insecure about myself, or because I was afraid for never been in a relationship before, but THE THING IS: WHY WASN'T I HAPPY TO HAVE MY FEELINGS MATCHED? Like, even if YOU ARE INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY IF THE PERSON LIKES YOU BACK. I was a little bit happy, but I was also feeling pressured, and, I don't know, romantic repulsed?
Like Dog said, ''the whole body language when they become romantic with me'' was making me feel romantic repulsed. I started to wonder what the hell I was doing, like, ''do I really want THIS?''. I sartarted having difficulties seeing what I liked about my partner... my favorites moments were when we acted like friends, and I didn't feel like we liked each other. We were just good friends. When he acted like just a good friend, I felt that my romantic attracion returned. When we got close and he started acting like a guy in love, I felt that my attraction was going away.
This is different of frayromantic to me, because my attracion do not depend of a bond to disappear, it depends of my feelings being reciprocated or not. And my attracion do not dissapear suddenly, they become weaker and unstable, and even if I wat to be with that person, I feel tired and stressed if I insist on the romantic relationship.
When we kind of broke up (I had to move for another city), I wasn't THAT sad, you know? not like the girls in the movies when they broke up because now they have to live in different cities. I was sad, but I was mostly RELIEVED. And then, I sarted to wonder if I was really a ROMANTIC person.
Hey! I'm brazilian, so sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english it is not my native language
Lithromantic discussion
in Aromantic Discussion
Posted · Edited by Uva
HAHAHAHAHA I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Yeah man, we shoud be proud of ourselves. Of course, it is not easy, especially when you never had been in a simliar situation before, but it's completely possible if you try.
When I first realized that I was asexual AND sex repulsed, I had such a hard time trying to accept myself... but now I'm really proud of being asexual! It's been 4 years since I found myself asexual, and, then, a few weeks ago, I sarted to realize that most of my ''relationship problems'' wasn't because I'm asexual, but because I must be aromantic too. I alredy knew the term litho and akoi, because of the ace commutity, but I always tried to run away of this possibility.
But in the beggining of this damn year, I have been almost in a relationship. Like... the person liked me back, and then, my feelings started to change. I always tought it was because I was insecure about myself, or because I was afraid for never been in a relationship before, but THE THING IS: WHY WASN'T I HAPPY TO HAVE MY FEELINGS MATCHED? Like, even if YOU ARE INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY IF THE PERSON LIKES YOU BACK. I was a little bit happy, but I was also feeling pressured, and, I don't know, romantic repulsed?
Like Dog said, ''the whole body language when they become romantic with me'' was making me feel romantic repulsed. I started to wonder what the hell I was doing, like, ''do I really want THIS?''. I sartarted having difficulties seeing what I liked about my partner... my favorites moments were when we acted like friends, and I didn't feel like we liked each other. We were just good friends. When he acted like just a good friend, I felt that my romantic attracion returned. When we got close and he started acting like a guy in love, I felt that my attraction was going away.
This is different of frayromantic to me, because my attracion do not depend of a bond to disappear, it depends of my feelings being reciprocated or not. And my attracion do not dissapear suddenly, they become weaker and unstable, and even if I wat to be with that person, I feel tired and stressed if I insist on the romantic relationship.
When we kind of broke up (I had to move for another city), I wasn't THAT sad, you know? not like the girls in the movies when they broke up because now they have to live in different cities. I was sad, but I was mostly RELIEVED. And then, I sarted to wonder if I was really a ROMANTIC person.
Hey! I'm brazilian, so sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english it is not my native language