Uva

HAHAHAHAHA I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! Yeah man, we shoud be proud of ourselves. Of course, it is not easy, especially when you never had been in a simliar situation before, but it's completely possible if you try. When I first realized that I was asexual AND sex repulsed, I had such a hard time trying to accept myself... but now I'm really proud of being asexual! It's been 4 years since I found myself asexual, and, then, a few weeks ago, I sarted to realize that most of my ''relationship problems'' wasn't because I'm asexual, but because I must be aromantic too. I alredy knew the term litho and akoi, because of the ace commutity, but I always tried to run away of this possibility. But in the beggining of this damn year, I have been almost in a relationship. Like... the person liked me back, and then, my feelings started to change. I always tought it was because I was insecure about myself, or because I was afraid for never been in a relationship before, but THE THING IS: WHY WASN'T I HAPPY TO HAVE MY FEELINGS MATCHED? Like, even if YOU ARE INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY IF THE PERSON LIKES YOU BACK. I was a little bit happy, but I was also feeling pressured, and, I don't know, romantic repulsed? Like Dog said, ''the whole body language when they become romantic with me'' was making me feel romantic repulsed. I started to wonder what the hell I was doing, like, ''do I really want THIS?''. I sartarted having difficulties seeing what I liked about my partner... my favorites moments were when we acted like friends, and I didn't feel like we liked each other. We were just good friends. When he acted like just a good friend, I felt that my romantic attracion returned. When we got close and he started acting like a guy in love, I felt that my attraction was going away. This is different of frayromantic to me, because my attracion do not depend of a bond to disappear, it depends of my feelings being reciprocated or not. And my attracion do not dissapear suddenly, they become weaker and unstable, and even if I wat to be with that person, I feel tired and stressed if I insist on the romantic relationship. When we kind of broke up (I had to move for another city), I wasn't THAT sad, you know? not like the girls in the movies when they broke up because now they have to live in different cities. I was sad, but I was mostly RELIEVED. And then, I sarted to wonder if I was really a ROMANTIC person. Hey! I'm brazilian, so sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english it is not my native language