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About punknoya

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  • Birthday April 29

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    ¿Arospec? pansexual
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  1. 1. Thanks lol love the profile pic. We stan a pretty setter 2. I was wondering about qprs, they sound like something I might be interested in but at the same time I’m still worried that whoever I’d over up the idea to, would be offended or upset that I wouldn’t be able to feel for them in the exact same way. Idk, life’s complicated. I’ve still got things to leave about my comfort levels. All I can do is do whatever feels right in the moment. (Which is way easier said than done but it’s the thought that counts lol) It is nice to actively know that people have felt close to what I’m going through That’s exactly what I’ve been wondering for a while!! I still don’t exactly know. It does sound nice but, in the one relationship I was in, I felt off. I assumed it was because I didn’t know this person enough to actually like them yet but I honestly don’t know if that’s really it. Of course, logically I know that there are tons of people in this community that can relate to things I feel but it can be hard to genuinely feel it. This is nice though, I really appreciate you and all the others for taking time out of your day to reassure me and make me feel valid. ❤️ It wasn’t a mess lol don’t worry
  2. It’s completely okay! I do appreciate your words. They’ve made me feel a bit better. Logically I know all of that but it’s nice to hear them from someone else. You are right though, communication is key. I think I would like to have a romantic relationship with this person (hold hands, kiss, maybe call each other pet names etc. Of course not the physical stuff rn, since the virus is still going on) I will have to talk about this with her to see how she feels. I think for right now, I just need to exist however feels right at that time. For now, cupioromantic feels right. If something else feels right later, I have to remind myself not be scared of it.
  3. I’m afraid that someday I may end up feeling something. I know logically that that’s fine and it doesn’t mean that I was lying about how I feel now. That people are always growing and constantly learning new things about themselves but I’m still afraid. I’m afraid that people of past relationships will be mad at me for “playing them” or “using them for fun when I didn’t care about them”. I already know that that’s not the case, I guess by voicing this I’m searching for some kind of outside reassurance?? I’ve thought that maybe I could be either cupio or grey but I’m worried to fully decide on one because I don’t think express it like the “average” person of those identities do. (Which I of course known is dumb but I still feel that) Am I being fair by wanting to be in a relationship with this person even though I may not feel romantically??? I suppose that’s up to her to decide in this specific situation
  4. ***I’m sorry if this isn’t formatted well!! I’m just writing down my thoughts/concerns as they form in my mind*** I’m 17 and I’ve never questioned my romantic attraction before, I always assumed I had it- that I experienced it in the “normal” way- because I love sweet things and I like way too many fictional characters. (As well because I’m pansexual and polyamorous) I do know that I find people of all kinds sexually attractive and I do know that, when the right people came, I would be into having a relationship with more than one person. But lately I’ve been wondering if I actually do experience romantic attraction. My main question is: Is it possible to be on the aromantic spectrum if I like the idea of/want all the things that happen in a relationship? I do want to kiss, cuddle, hold hands, have dates, make out, maybe have sex etc. with people I’m close with but I don’t really feel anything aside from “aw that’s a sweet/cute/neat thing to do”. I keep looking up what “romantic love” and “attraction” are supposed to feel like but I still have no clue. I do get excited and happy reading, watching, thinking of my self in romance situations but when placed in a scenario where I would experience it, it just feels off. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten “butterflies” before. I’ve seen people describe it as “you‘re weightless, floating, nervous, giddy, warm and fuzzy” but the only thing I’ve ever felt towards a person irl is stress, a bit of anxiety and slight excitement (because “omg, I’m finally having a sweet moment!”, yes that’s what I thought) I don’t get any of those butterfly feelings when I think about people I’d be interested in doing relationship stuff with. Idk maybe I just haven’t been in enough relationships to know but don’t people feel all of that even when they’re not in a relationship??? That’s what I’ve always assumed after consuming all that lovey-dovey media. I’ve had a few what I assumed were crushes (two friends, a few celebrities and several fictional characters) but, after reading into aro terminology, they could very well be meshes. I got into in my first relationship at the end of last year but it only lasted about a month or so because it didn’t feel right to me. I liked this girl but we jumped into a relationship way too quickly. We didn’t know all that much about each other so it felt really wrong to me- really insincere. And I was starting to feel guilty since the main reason I said yes was because I wanted to be in a relationship, I wanted to be able to say (not really outright but still) that I had a gf. I feel bad because she says that she actually likes me and still would like to be in a relationship if I’m down. I told her I felt something for her, which is true. I care about her a bit more than other friends but I don’t think it’s the same thing that she’s feeling. I think I just think highly of her and want good things for her. I do want to do cute relationship stuff with her but not because I’m in love with her. But because I just want to. Because that stuff is sweet and cute and it sounds nice. I’m not certain in very many of my emotions. In general, I don’t think I feel things the way I’m “supposed to”. (But that’s a problem for another time) I want to be loved romantically. Though, Idk if that’s because I really want that or if I just want the reassurance that I’m capable of being loved. I feel bad that I think I’d be okay with a single sided romance. Again idk, feelings are really complicated and I really wish I felt things very obviously.
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