pigeonhead

Waking up and feeling your cat sleeping beside you, sitting on the porch and watching hummingbirds drinking nectar from the garden, Lofthouse cookies, finding a really good scented candle, especially one that smells like someone or a place you know. 

Hello! ?

I'm demiromantic- and not proud. I hate the fact that the only people I end up having attraction to are close friends with no romantic inclination to me. I hate the fact that I'll never be able to date or kiss or hold hands like a normal person. I hate the fact that I likely won't experience all the things that other people experience. I hate the fact that I probably wont' ever get married, or even find someone who loves me. I hate the fact that I'll probably die alone, all because of my stupid romantic orientation. And I hate the fact that unlike an aromantic person, I'm still going to feel this attraction. I'll miss out on all the things my friends will experience. I feel broken. And when I tell people I'm scared of dying alone, they're like "Oh, it's fine, you'll find the one." when I probably won' even find the one. "The one" doesn't even exist. Is the all just heavily internalized amatonormativity? Yes. But I feel terrible because of it. And I'm not proud.

I get that, I identify as grayro ad well as demiro and I'm really not a huge fan of the grayro flag either (I think it's something about the shade of green?). I've been seeking out an alternative flag but have only managed to find one that looked like a recolored bi flag and didn't differ much from the original, so idk. It is somewhat interesting to see variations however. 

After some searching, here's the other ones I've found:

This one: 

This one:

And this one: 

And while they're all good I'm not a big fan of how light colored they are. It may just be me, but it somewhat gives off this impression that grayromanticism is just Aromantic Lite, which is not really something I feel comfortable with, though others may feel differently.

Here is the grayromantic flag that I usually see used:

However, recently on Tumblr, I've seen another version popping up - it's the same one but the gray is darker and the green is lighter:

(This was seen in a pride icons post by useless-slytherclaw, which prompted me to make the post after seeing the alternate flag in a few places)

I'm not sure if this is just a mistake in shading by some people, or an actual alternate grayro flag, but it'd be interesting to hear your thoughts and which one you prefer! 

It's highly possible you may be demiromantic or grayromantic. 

I'd most want a QPP, but if I do experience mutual romantic attraction to someone then I would be fine with having a romantic partner. I don't really want much contact that is seen as typically romantic in a relationship (Aside from cuddles. Cuddles are the best.) I more value the emotional bond and the feeling that someone is there for me. 

I got INFP, but I'm not exactly sure how accurate the test is. 

A family of furries wreaks havoc to their community of inanimate objects while the laws of physics do not exist. 

Banned for having 0/5 stripes of the aro flag in your pfp

I'd be open to a poly relationship if I liked all parties involved, but due to the fact that likely wouldn't happen I'd prefer to be in a monogamous relationship. I don't have any problem with either structure of relationship, and both have their pros and cons, but due to the fact that I'm demiro a monogamous relationship is more appealing as it'd be highly unlikely that I'd experience romantic attraction to more than one person at once, let alone a single person. However, my ultimate goal would not to be in a romantic relationship, just a QPR. 

Allos: Omg nooo, we don't force romantic stuff on people!!! 

Also allos: 

Currently, I feel like I *have* to be in a relationship/ have a crush on someone, even though the rational part of me knows that just isn't happening because I wouldn't enjoy it due to the lack of romantic attraction. I know it's just amatonormativity getting to me, but I don't really know how to get over it. It's kind of made worse by the fact that I spend more time in the mainstream LGBTQ+ community, which obviously is going to have a greater emphasis on romantic love and crushes. Plus yearning blogs/romance quotes constantly popping up doesn't help much. Any advice?

Gray 

I feel like I miss out on a lot of things my friends get to feel, as a romance-positive demi. I want to feel romantic feelings so badly for someone who would be considered a good partner, but I just can't and I end up liking people very rarely, and when I do, it's close friends who don't feel the same way. I feel pathetic  for being this old and not having even kissed somebody. I wish I could say platonic love was good enough, but my friends all have someone else, a crush, a partner, a friend that they feel stronger towards. I just want someone to love me but unless I've known them for a long time, I can't love them back. I just want to experience what other people feel, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, without it being towards people who don't like me back. 

1. I used to fake having crushes on people, even once I realized I liked girls 

2. Completely not understanding the concept of celebrity crushes or crushes on fictional characters (or crushes in general)

3. Loved Mulan, Brave, and Frozen because they didn't focus on romantic relationships.  (Merida is aro, nobody can change my mind.)

When you're trying to find a single Webtoon without some sort of romance as the main focus or the entire fanbase being based around characters being attractive because your allo friends want you to read Webtoons but you don't like the plot of any of the ones they like. 

I kind of get annoyed by it, mainly because I'm like "Finally we'll have some representation that is actually confirmed!" And then they just go with the classic "They don't like labels." It feels like they're too scared to actually confirm that a character is LGBTQ+ on screen . 

My friends know that I'm genderfluid and pansexual, but not that I'm demiromantic. I don't really feel it's necessary to tell people because I'm not actively looking for someone to date, and I don't want to date any of them. 

My parents just think I'm a lesbian, because that's what I first came out to them as in 7th grade, and I don't really feel brave enough to update them that I'm not a lesbian, because 1. they don't believe in ace-aro identities 2. they don't believe in non-binary genders, and are very reluctant about binary trans people.

It'd be nice to tell people about it being demiromantic one day, but I'm not in the position to do that right now. 

Hugs and cuddling are great, but kissing is another story. Even when I do feel romantic attraction, I have some limits because kisses kind of gross me out (on a physical level because saliva is pretty gross.) I'm fine with other people kissing or reading about it, but in practice I'm kind of "eh" about the whole thing. I hope that makes sense. 

I was in a "relationship" with a girl at one point in middle school, however I knew her for a while beforehand. That was the first time I actually experienced romantic feelings. Most other "crushes" I had were just a strong squish or forcing myself to have a crush on someone to fit in. We ended up breaking up because she had a crush on a guy after about 2-3 months of dating, in which I was devastated because I thought she was my "one true love" because I hadn't actually had a crush before. Nope, turns out I'm just demiromantic and that's fine with me. 

I got 58% demiromatic, 17% aromantic, 17% not aro, and 8% ace-aro. Honestly though, the quiz kind of mixed up demiromatic and demisexual, and somewhat assumed that one has to be romance-repulsed to be on the aro-spec, plus the slashed were kind of annoying, but it was alright I guess.

Thanks for the help,  I'm pretty sure fraysexual fits best. 

I will experience sexual attraction to those who I don't know very well, but the more I get to know them and the closer we become, I feel disgusted at the thought of performing those actions onto them and do not experience sexual attraction. This happens with all genders, as does my demiromanticism. What is this called, I'm really confused.