techno

On 4/16/2017 at 5:56 PM, omitef said:

In fact, because of that fear and suspicion, I tend to preemptively "make myself invisible" whenever my close friends bring their romantic partners along in social situations. I third wheel myself. No, I completely remove myself as the third wheel, so that there are only two wheels, and I am not part of the equation...

I find myself doing this too. I think that, at least for me, it comes from a mixture of fear, romance repulsion, and internalized arophobia/amatonormativity. I have been convinced by society that I am inherently less important than my friends' romantic partners, and so I subconsciously remove myself from situations that reinforce that idea in order to make what I feel is an inevitable outcome less awkward and less painful.

On 4/17/2017 at 8:52 PM, starstuff said:

Found a diary under my bed recently from when I was in elementary school (like 20 years ago???) and there's an entry about thinking I had a crush on one of my friends.  I can actually remember writing that entry as a child and knowing that I was lying to myself as I wrote the words, but thinking that everyone around me was saying I was supposed to have a crush so I HAD to pick someone.

 

 Amatonormativity, people.  Yeesh.

I relate to this so hard. I remember doing the exact same thing, almost trying to convince myself that I had a crush on some random kid just because I thought I had to. 

If you're born into that culture/live there for long enough I'm sure in most cases it becomes as natural as a handshake. If it's something that's been a part of your daily life for a long time, it wouldn't seem so romantically coded or uncomfortable.

I want to come out to my one friend but I'm highkey scared...

It's not that I think she'd freak out, just that it'd be really awkward and I've have to explain the whole thing and she might not get it and yeah.

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On 2/25/2017 at 2:24 AM, anzu2snow said:

I've been playing the clarinet since I was 10. Was in concert band, pep band, marching band, and pit orchestra in high school. Marching band in college until I almost (never found out if I did) broke my tailbone. Walked differently ever since, but I really miss it. 

 

Now I just play for myself. For me, it's calming and boosts my self esteem. I would like to start a klezmer band some day. I also played fiddle about a year before I started playing the clarinet. Before that, the recorder.

Yay! More clarinets! 

On 2/25/2017 at 1:13 PM, Salt said:

Here's for all the artists and writers.

 

YMBAI you try to avoid drawing or writing romance, but when you have to you get uncomfortable. Once you manage to finish it, you're automatically dissapointed and self-concious about it because you don't know how to portray the romance.

I feel this!! There's a constant pressure of people who ask, "why don't you write those two characters getting together?" And no answer seems to be good enough, so you end up not really sharing your work with anyone anymore.

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Took the Big Five test:

Openness: 70th percentile

Conscientiousness: 46th percentile

Extroversion: 15th percentile

Agreeableness: 4th percentile

Neuroticism: 93rd percentile

Not sure how accurate that is (I don't think I'm that disagreeable!) but there you have it.

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bork