lindi

I probably shouldn't even think about it at this age, but I mostly fear the practical struggles of growing old alone 

I had a couple of crushes in my childhood, but way less than my peers, so I just made up stuff about supposedly liking some boy to not be an outsider, when others talked about their crushes.

I could never clearly tell the difference, so lately I've been calling them all crushes, because whatever - it's not like I want to act on them anyway.

Of course, since I don't want romance or a partner, it might make more sense to call them all squishes... but at least "crush" is a word that the mainstream has some clue about, even if it would be slightly misleading.

Oh, and this might sound paradoxical, but to me a "squish" implies more strongly, that you actually want to get close to the person. As a friend, but still. What comes to a "crush", people have celebrity crushes and such all the time, without wanting to get close to the person.

-Well, I think I have actual crushes, just no desire whatsoever to act on them, so that makes me a bad, bad "aro" indeed 

-I have mental health issues, which someone could argue "explains it all". But they're not the kind that would go away any day soon (well, ever).

-I have no desire for a QPR or intense friendships

It doesn't make me uncomfortable, more like frustrated at the "waste of time" (from my perspective... at least if I'm in the company of those people!) - like geez, get it over with already?