Bri

11 hours ago, Coyote said:

 

Please don't do this. No one experience is the determiner of what someone is -- it's one thing to point out options someone might not have been aware of, but it's another thing to tell somebody what they "seem."

Ok sorry I can see what your getting at I'll be more careful. I didn't mean to push bri53 into any romantic orientation. I hope I at least offered some feedback.

5 hours ago, bri53 said:

I'm question whether I'm on the aromatic spectrum. Here's some background information

1. I've had a romantic relationship in the past and was in love with the person

2. I have not been romantically attracted to anyone since that person. I had a "romantic" relationship with a second person for a few months but wasn't romantically attracted to them.

 

My idea of a relationship is being close with someone emotionally, who you enjoy spending time with, and doing "romantic stuff" (kissing, cuddling, hand holding (I'm asexual)) with them but there's no romantic attraction on my end. Sort of like a non-sexual friends with benefits type situation. 

 

I've never really put thought into the fact that I might not be alloromantic. I haven't had the desire to seek out a relationship like most people my age would and I just always said it's because I'm too focused on school but in reality, I couldn't care less about being romantic with someone or dating them, there's no appeal to me. 

 

I never understood why people get so head over heels about wanting a relationship or having romantic moments with people. Romance just seems boring to me.

 

Any insight or tips? 

Thanks! 

       Seems to me like your on the aromantic spectrum since you say you've been romantically attracted to someone before so you seem grayromantic or demiromantic but things can change, to me it sounds like you don't want any part in being romantic which sounds like your aromantic, but the romance spectrum consists of demiromantics, lithromantics, and many other romantic orientations so try to look more into it or ask more opinions. You dont have to tho, for me I just kept being myself and when I found out about the aromantic spectrum I thought it was cool to have something to identify with but it didn't change much.

 

1 hour ago, Layla said:

I cant read all this so...... HELLO!!  =3 

If this means stuff abourpt queer cool!

I use to think i was bi then i thought i was strait THEN i thought i was queer THEN i thought i am asexual... now im thinking.. what is the anser to life? Do i even belong here? And so i googled it and the anser to life is 42... help meeeeeeee

Honestly I always just think about life. Before falling asleep I stay awake questioning everything so I understand you and it took me a while to find a sexuality I was comfortable with  (ace and aro) I thought I was lithromantic, bi, demi, heteroflexible, etc.

Also *in satanic voice* LOVE IS A LIE!!

(or at least romantic love to me)

Thanks that's how I've felt I've just been questioning it a little

Ok.... So I am a hopeless romantic when it comes to mangas or movies i endlessly support the shipped characters I also have my own ships that I've come up with. I love all the cheesy romantic stuff but if anyone in my school is together I get sick to my stomach (same thing when anyone asks me out). I love talking about crushes with my friends but I've never had a crush. I understand things like valentines day and I love it (unlike other aro and aces) but I don't like to participate. So I can't ever seem to relate with other aros or aces when it comes to the romance that doesn't involve us. I can't even begin to understand having a crush no matter how many times my friends try to explain and I don't really care. I love cheering on couples in books and movies and shows and very rarely in school but I want absolutely no part in a relationship myself it seems very uncomfortable for aroaces to feel like this and I'm beginning to question my romanticism. So it would help if anyone could offer any words if wisdom of if there is anyone like me.

3 hours ago, 420.seven said:

Hm...I have been reflecting on a situation I was in...

and I really have NO one to talk to... 

 

Has anyone ever been in a queerplatonic relationship that was also sexual but didn't realize it could have been a queerplatonic connection/relationship until after separation from the person?

I now realize that it would have maybe helped this person and I deal with things better and talk about it if we would have known it was maybe a queerplatonic connection with sexual attraction.

 

Everything just happened so naturally but it was very intense and I can only speak for myself but I didn't really understand what it was and based off what the person said they had no idea either. But... through separation, I am realizing many things...

I'm probably not someone who can help but I have some questions if you can answer them.

Was the relationship between you experimenting?

Was it a straight relationship?

What's your sexuality?(or are you not sure)

My best guess is that you to were together only cause you were sexually attracted to each other and neither of you wanted a commitment so it was platonic with sexual means sounds like you were in one of those experimenting relationships.

I usually don't care to much about romance and I do get crushes but its really rare, tbh romance when it involves me makes me uncomfortable but the weird thing is that I love the romance in mangas and sometimes mangas I probably obsess over it too much.

On 6/2/2019 at 4:49 PM, Cristal Gris said:

18. Since "straight" is, like, a "default" or something, i thought I was. Well, not really… I started looking at peoples closely to see if I felt something. I didn't. (i had no idea how attraction was supposed to work ^^ I still don't.).

 

Then i remembered that word i found on the net once. Aromantic. 

When I was really young maybe 10 or 11 my friends would always talk about crushes and squeal and giggles I just didn't understand it and I would look for a crush so I could understand and talk more with my friends (they were guys that looked "cute") but I never understood wanting to talk with them or spying on them. Then in middle school in 7th or 8th grade my friend (who's big and very well informed with the lgtbq+) was telling me about a guy she talked to Im not sure if I've even had a crush and I couldn't understand how these "fuzzy feelings" work I spent the whole day trying to imagine liking someone that you know as a person or liking someone at all. She explained to me what being aromantic was and well here I am.

On 5/14/2019 at 6:03 PM, The Angel of Eternity said:

My sister got married a couple days ago and a few days before the wedding my sister, my mom and the groom's mom were preparing. Here's a little conversation that occurred:

 

My sister [to me]: Do you think you'll get married someday?

Me: No, I don't want to.

My sister: Are you being serious or are you just saying that?

Me: I'm serious.

My mom [to my sister]: He still has time to think about it.

 

I think what my mom said implied that I would come around to marry one day.

 

 

Edit:

Speaking of weddings and other formal family events, here's another situation that kind of irks me. I was dressed up for the wedding and people repeatedly told me I looked handsome. I do not like to be called handsome or good-looking. Does anyone else feel this way?

I like it when someone calls me cute or pretty but that's just when one of my friends say it, when its a guy it does make me feel awkward. I'm ace and aro but most of my friends and family still think its a phase so Ive been in positions like that.

All my friends don't believe that being aromantic and asexual isn't real they think its "just a phase". They say that I'll like someone romantically one day I just "haven't found the right person". What some people don't get is that this "phase" is something some people stay with forever.