valocity

welcome! I totally relate to the stress of trying to figure out which specific label fits best, and I wish you luck in finding labels that you're super comfortable with!  

welcome! we're glad to have you here!  

I think youtube videos are a great way to spread information! I know I always enjoy learning about other people's experiences, especially when they differ from my own, and I think that having people all across the romantic and sexual spectrums talk about their identities in a public place could be really helpful.  

I have two lobe piercings in each ear + a rook piercing in my left ear. I want to get a daith or tragus piercing in my right ear next, and I've been thinking about tattooing a ribbon/bow around my wrist  

Also, all of the mods in this thread sound super cool!! 

On 7/4/2019 at 2:22 PM, Madame Giraffe said:

I hate that everyone wants a relationship 'cause this way everyone around me will eventually have one and I'll remain alone, 'cause people put partner before friends all the time, often even before family.

This is why I'm learning to do everything by myself, ohohohoho

I relate to this a lot! I definitely share the fear of ending up alone in my adult life, and I really hate that so much of that fear is caused by the amatonormativity of society. I try and remain optimistic that I can find friends who will prioritize their friendship with me, or even a QPP as that's something I think I'd be interested in, but it's still scary to think about.

The nice thing to remember, though, is that there are a lot of us in the same boat and that we have this community to help each other out  

Welcome! We're glad you're here  

Welcome!  

I totally relate to so many parts of this - faking crushes, constantly getting asked about my lack of romantic relationships, feeling uncomfortable when people have crushes on me. I'm glad you found this forum, and I hope it helps you understand all of this confusing stuff a little more! 

14 hours ago, Mark said:

Another possible issue here would be wanting to do things which are romantically coded.

This is a really good point, thank you! I think I often need to remember that romantically coded actions don't have to take place in a typical romantic relationship!

9 hours ago, Ace Of Hugs said:

Only to the degree that it was expected of me by society in general (and my mother in specific ). 

Frankly, I've never seen the point.

 

 

I can definitely relate to the pressure from society and parents! Great point!

Sorry If there's already a thread like this on here; I searched but couldn't find one. So! Here we are!

I have a question mostly geared towards non-romance repulsed aro people - do any of you ever wish you were in a romantic relationship? Personally, I am not romance-repulsed, and sometimes when viewing media with well-written romantic relationships, there's a part of me that wishes I could have that. However, I've never been romantically attracted to anyone, so I will never be able to have a traditional romantic relationship. While that's fine, and while I love being part of the aro community, I sometimes wish I was romantic. Has anyone else ever experienced this feeling?

On 10/13/2018 at 11:19 PM, Sammy said:

If you're asking your friends what crushes are supposed to feel like

If you're mis-identifying as bi or pan

If you assume everyone is just exaggerating

If you don't know how to flirt/don't know when someone's flirting with you

If you assume people want romantic relationships because they're like Mega Friendships (I assumed this and was surprised to find out that there's some other element to it)

This is so accurate; one of the things that helped clue me in to the fact that I'm aro is that I was just alternating between bi and pan for a while. I eventually realized that I just felt the same about all genders, which is to say not interested at all! Flirting is also still a huge mystery to me haha

On 8/26/2018 at 7:25 PM, AroAce said:

The worst thing is wanting a romantic relationship, but never being able to feel the romantic attraction.

Like, it looks like something I would want so why don't I ever feel like thaaat

 

My brain needs to make up its mind.

I feel this so much! relationships do seem kinda fun, if not a little anxiety-inducing, but i’ve never actually had a crush or felt romantic attraction to anyone

On 6/3/2016 at 12:46 AM, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

I totally relate to this! I can use the word love casually, like if I'm talking about food or a song, but I feel really weird when I say I love people.