felinelicks

Quiet lab geek exceeds expectations by spending his nights cleaning up the streets of Miami. Tosses multiple garbage bags with every trip!

I've mentioned that I don't really ever want to get married, but I haven't come out as aro. I own a few pride things and I've actively lied about what they represent. I don't really know why. I'm not ashamed of who I am and I want to be open about it, but it's just hard for me to do that when I know a lot of people will think it's weird or won't understand it, or might not even believe that it's a real thing. I also know most people don't know what aromanticism is and I don't want to have to go through the whole process of explaining it every time it comes up. I usually just say vaguely that I'm not interested in dating right now and leave it at that.

On 4/18/2020 at 9:40 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

-Weirdly enough, I find I'm actually more selective about personality when it comes to interest in folks? Like... I've noticed that alloromantic folks tend to develop crushes and then just kind of, go with it even if the person isn't terribly compatible with them, for some reason. With me I'm like, yeah he's hot, but his taste in anime? Horrible. 0/10 would not bang

On 4/30/2020 at 6:08 AM, Scoop said:

I feel the same way. When I first meet someone I know whether I'm attracted to them or not right off the bat, then as I get to know them my attraction will either grow or fade depending on whether I like them as a person. It's like their personality either enhances the attraction or kills it lol. This probably isn't a uniquely alloaro feeling, I would assume alloromantic people are more likely to overlook flaws/incompatibilities bc of amatonormativity whereas we don't believe in those same stakes.

Yeah, I agree with this. It's weird to me when people act like sexual attraction is just about looks. That's definitely part of it but there's more to it than that. Personality traits are a big factor in sexual attraction to me. Finding out that someone I thought was hot is actually an asshole can kill the attraction, and realizing that someone I didn't initially find super attractive is really cool or has certain traits I like can make them way more attractive to me. Some of the people I've been most attracted to were people I didn't initially think were hot, but they had the kind of personality I'm drawn to and it changed the way I perceive them.

On 4/18/2020 at 9:40 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Without romantic attraction, aesthetics may play a larger role- And I don't mean if someone's "ugly" or "hot", I literally mean aesthetics. I tend to be attracted more to women because women are generally more creative in how they express themselves aesthetically, whereas dudes in general kind of fluctuate between "t-shirt and jeans" and "blazer and button-up" which is a pretty boring range of looks, and I'm just too dramatic for that. I don't care what your face looks like but if you have the same haircut as 70 other guys at my school I'm probably not all that interested, hon

Yes! Same here. I'm honestly way more attracted to men than to women when I do find one I like, but the way most men present themselves is so boring that it took me a long time to even realize I was into men. It didn't seem real when the only guys I liked were anime characters lol, but when I did start noticing real guys who caught my interest it was much more intense, to the point that I thought I might actually be gay, but at the end of the day I'm still attracted to women too. It's just different.

I'm a big Danganronpa fan too! I'd say V3 is my favorite. I binged all the games over the course of like a week and it seemed like they just kept getting better with each game. Kokichi and Fuyuhiko are my favorite characters, and Toko/Genocide Jack. Byakuya was my fav when I originally played the first game.

I didn't think about Rantaro being aro while I was playing the game, but I've heard about the headcanon and I can totally see it. I headcanon Shuichi and Kaito as having an alterous attraction/QPR kind of a thing and it's probably my favorite dynamic between two characters in the whole series. The only thing I didn't like about V3 was that it pushed romance a lot more than the other games. The Kaito/Maki romance really annoyed me, and Shuichi/Kaede.

On 5/14/2020 at 5:52 AM, Blake said:

Conservation Ecologist in Endangered Species. Aiming for that cuz I love animals more than people.

I work in veterinary medicine for the same reason, haha. I'm a veterinary receptionist, ultimately hoping to become a veterinarian, though I've been considering going to school to be a tech instead.

Part of me feels like my actual dream job would more creative, like in the arts, but I think the reality of having to worry about making my art marketable enough to pay the bills would ruin my passion for it. It's probably better as a hobby for me. Being a vet is my dream because I've always had this strong desire to help animals, but even just working in the field as a receptionist is insanely stressful for my anxiety disordered self. Sometimes I think it would be nice to go back to working in a field where there aren't literally lives on the line, but this is important to me so I don't want to give up on it.

On 8/7/2019 at 7:20 PM, treepod said:

And finally, I just finished watching the recent tv adaptation of Good Omens. I get particularly mixed feelings here. On the one hand, I totally get why people really really love shipping Crowley and Aziraphale because their dynamic is such a good mix of comical shenanigans and genuinely touching moments. But while I was watching the way they interacted over the course of the show, instead of hoping they'd kiss, I was just thinking "wow I want whatever this is real bad" (speaking as someone who's hoping for a QPR type of thing in my own life). Like, I'm really invested in how their relationship develops in canon, but I don't feel the need to imagine it going any """further""" because it's already my ideal situation. But the fandom is downright obsessed with them as a romantic and sexual thing. Like it's literally all there is.

I haven't watched Good Omens yet, but I've experienced this so many times. It's so frustrating. It sucks to see this dynamic I really want and then go online and see everyone talking about how the exact things I like about it mean that they're obviously in love. Like it's impossible to have a connection like that without romance. It's complicated because I'm allosexual and my ideal QPR would be sexual, so part of me does like some of the shippy content. But it's exhausting that it's always paired with romance and I have to wade through all these invalidating comments about how the only thing they could possibly feel for each other is romantic love. It's just not true. There are other kinds of love, other kinds of relationships that can be just as intense. People get so caught up in their ships that they refuse to see any other possible interpretation.

And it's the same thing with characters that seem aro ending up in romantic relationships. It's like people don't even consider the possibility that they could be happy without romance. Never even occurs to them. If a character doesn't express interest in the opposite gender, people just think they're gay or haven't met the right person or whatever.

Obviously people can ship or headcanon whatever they want, I'm just salty because it's everywhere. I can't escape it.

Tbh I've always handled these situations by just avoiding the hell out of those people lol. Like this guy at my old work kept flirting with me and tried to get my mom to set us up (we all worked at the same store) and when she told me he was going to ask me out I just avoided his area of the store all day. He must have realized I wasn't interested because he completely ignored me after that and was actually kind of an ass to my mom. ? Just a complete 180 after months of pretending to be friendly with both of us. I've never understood why allos are like that. To me if you completely lose interest in me as a person when you find out I don't want to date you, you never really liked me. I don't get it. Why did you want to date me if you don't want to be friends with me?

My actual worst rejection was probably ending a long-term romantic relationship by ghosting her. I did go back and explain myself and officially end things after a while but it was a shitty thing to do. I just got overwhelmed with everything, and I didn't know I was aro yet so I didn't know why. There was more to that than just being aro though.

My stories aren't very fun either lol. I'm oblivious when it comes to this shit too. I never know what to do. It seems like there's no way out of it that doesn't upset people.

Used computers with all the old info, including passwords, permanently built in. They don't give you the password.

Your Raw Score is: -315, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner.

You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Female.

ANALYSIS:
Female to Male Transsexual in doubt about your ability to successfully transition. 
NOTES:

• Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.

Fair enough but idk where they got "in doubt about your ability to successfully transition" from. I haven't transitioned yet because i'm not in a good place to do so, not because i don't think i could pass or whatever...

I wouldn't put much stock in this because it's obviously based on stereotypes but it's interesting to compare results!

I have. She asked me out and thanks to amatonormativity i thought maybe i wanted to be with her too, so i said yes. I knew i wasn't ~in love~ or anything, but i liked her a lot and i figured it would develop over time. At the time, i remember being pretty nervous and unsure about the whole thing, but i figured we were just going on one date to see if we were a good match. Imagine my surprise when she referred to me as her SO the next day! We clearly had different ideas of what we were agreeing to in the beginning, but i didn't want to ruin it by disagreeing so i was like "welp guess i have a gf now."

I think part of it was a social status thing too -- i wanted to get an SO because my friends all paired off or at least had been in a relationship before, and i was afraid people would think i was a loser who couldn't get a date, instead of just not wanting one. I wanted a girlfriend so i could say i had one, and to prove to myself that i was appealing enough for someone to pick me as "the one" over everyone else they knew. That's not what i was thinking at all when i agreed to go out with her, but i sort of knew i had that mindset and in retrospect it definitely made me more inclined to believe i was falling for her even as it became more and more clear that i wasn't.

We were together for about a year and a half, although i felt wrong about the whole thing for most of the relationship. I didn't want to lose her as a friend, so i stuck around a lot longer than i should have. It was incredibly stressful and i felt really guilty for not feeling the way i was "supposed" to feel. Very happy to be out of that relationship, even though she's a great girl. Feels like i can finally breathe right again!

On 6/17/2016 at 5:50 PM, ArodynamicallyFavored said:

I'm curious. Has your gender identity ever effected who you are/were romantically attracted to?

I don't think my gender has affected who i'm attracted to, but i think it affected who i thought i was attracted to. Before i accepted that i'm trans, i tried so hard to convince myself i was a lesbian. After hearing lesbians talk about how they always felt different from other girls, being drawn to GNC or butch lesbians, and being completely uninterested in romantic advances from my male friends, i latched on to that label to explain all my differences away. It was to the point of going into denial when i started developing sexual attraction to men and my romantic attraction to women remained nonexistant, and i spent years trying to come up with alternative explanations for my gender dysphoria. I'm much happier now that i've accepted who i am, and i don't think my actual gender has affected my actual romantic attraction, since i have none

Kaito momota from danganronpa v3! I know the game wants me to ship him with maki but fuck that lol even when she confessed to him he didn't say one way or the other about if he feels the same. That romantic subplot was so annoying. They had a perfectly good friendship, it didn't need to change! He didn't seem in love with her to me. Kaito and shuichi are my otp, but in more of a QPP kinda way, maybe with some one-sided romance on shuichi's side.

1 hour ago, snapesonalane said:

 

Lol saaaaaaaame! I just loved the idea of having a friendship as close as Bella and Jacob's, although admittedly I only ever saw the movies so I'm sure I missed out on their friendship. Things got way boring for me once the love triangle came in, I was not into it. I always used to think those kinds of friendships were what romance should be like, oh how naive my aro ass was. 

Yes! That was the appeal for me too. They were so close and from bella's point of view, that didn't make them "more than friends." It was nice until the stupid love triangle kicked in and stephenie meyer had to demonize him so he wouldn't get in the main couple's way. Looking back the books aren't great lol but i cared a lot about them at the time!

1 hour ago, snapesonalane said:

I was always so confused when they told me I must like someone. I just didn't get it. I would think, well who made that silly rule? When pressed I would actually say I liked someone from "my old school" so they wouldn't tease me about a real person because I just loathed teasing. Still makes me cringe and I'm 23. 

Yeah same. It was always weird to me that they'd go into these conversations with the assumption that i liked someone. As if it was obvious that everyone had a crush at all times. That's not even how that works? Very weird. Haha i should have used your excuse! I changed schools enough that it would have been plausible.

I was never interested in weddings or love stories or any of that stuff when i was a kid. I never imagined what my future wedding or SO would be like, it just didn't seem important to me.

My favorite movies were the ones that focused on cool stuff or friendships, without love interests. When i got older, i was okay with romance, but love triangles frustrated me and i often wished they'd all just be friends. Confession: i was a huge twilight fan when i was 12-14. My favorite book was, of course, the one edward is barely in. I was totally absorbed in bella and jacob's friendship, and i was so upset when he decided he was in love with her and turned into a douchebag >:/

When my friends asked who i had a crush on, i said no one, and when they insisted there must be someone, i picked a random kid in my class. At that point i was convinced that everyone else was doing the same thing, making up a fake crush so their friends would leave them alone. It was really awkward dealing with them teasing me whenever my "crush" was around after that lol i was terrified they would say something and i'd end up stuck in a relationship i didn't even want!

I thought i was bi (which i am) and just not up for a relationship yet. I figured i'd develop that desire when i met the right person, or when i got older, or when i was in a better mental state... Never happened. There were always things about relationships i didn't want, and i knew deep down that the only reason i was even considering getting into one was because A) i was lonely and B) i liked the idea of having someone around to have sex with on a regular-ish basis. It seemed like such a shallow, selfish way to think that i didn't want to acknowledge it, so i pushed it to the back of my mind and convinced myself i must actually want all the other romantic stuff too. Spoiler: I didn't lol and trying them out made that very clear.

I got 33% aro/ace, 25% aro, 25% demi, 8% romantic, 8% romantic asexual. A lot of the answers didn't really fit me. And some of the joint responses seemed totally unrelated to each other?