Candide

I’m ok with them from my partners, and nice old ladies at the grocery store, but that’s about it. 

Who is going to DC pride and would like to meet up and hang out there for a bit? The parade is June 10th and the festival is June 11th, and I’m only going to the festival. It’d be fun to meet and chat! :)

1 hour ago, Lovebird said:

Welcome! I see you're into astrology stuff too, I'm a virgo sun, libra moon and aquarius rising :)

Oh, nice! I get along well with Earth and Air signs! If you want, you could dm me your chart, I’d love to look, and I can send mine as well :)

10 hours ago, Isa1116 said:

Heyo! I'm Isa and it's nice to meet you. Hope you have a good time here! :)

Thank you so much! It’s nice to meet you too, Isa! This is a very welcoming space and the first online place I’ve seen be this warm and accepting towards new people :)

10 hours ago, SwiftySpeedy said:

Hi I'm pretty sure you'll like it here.

Thank you! I love it already :)

11 hours ago, HelloThere said:

Glad to have you here! :D

Thank you so much, I’m glad to be here!

Hey everyone :) I’m Dmitri (or Dimi). I’m 28, I use he/him and I’m aromantic. I primarily feel platonic and aesthetic attraction, but the strongest and most consistent attraction I feel is alterous, which is my relationship with my husband. I love him so much. 

I’m polyplatonic, demiandrosensual and generally aesthetic. I’m really happy to be here, since I only found out I’m aro last week :’) I had no idea there were so many words that perfectly describe how I’ve been feeling my entire life! Thanks for having me :)

3 hours ago, HelloThere said:

Same!  I'm not even that far away (though I'm not a huge fan of museums, more cool new stuff and space) and the biggest issue is I'm underage and I'm just not 100% sure I could trust someone I just met either.

I get you! We wouldn’t allow anyone under 18+ to attend anyways, but if it makes anyone else feel more comfortable, it would be an organized event with a group of at least 6 people other than myself and my husband. We wouldn’t do it at all if there were less people for safety reasons (safety in numbers). It would be well planned and scheduled to account for safety as well. But it’s just an idea, since I would love to make some aro friends close by me since I know none :’) 

On 4/29/2023 at 12:41 PM, Ikarus said:

How many aromantics here apply RA to their relationships? 
 

If you don’t know what im talking about dont worry i’ll try explaining it briefly.
 

Relationship anarchy rejects the societal norms of “just friends” “in relationship” “fwb” “open relationship”. Instead of accepting these categories and their expectations relationship anarchists start with a clean slate and tailor each relationship to the individuals. 
 

Furthermore RA believe relationships should not be bound by societal rules, instead rules should be agreed upon mutually by the individuals.

The RA manifesto: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

 

The 9 articles of Relationship Anarchy 

Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique

Love and respect instead of entitlement

Find your core set of relationship values

Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you

Build for the lovely unexpected

Fake it til’ you make it 

Trust is better

Change through communication

Customize your commitments

That’s pretty much it. If you have any critiques or ideas on the 9 articles I would like to discuss them.

 

 

 

My husband is demisexual/romantic and I’m aromantic and heterosexual. I’m intrinsically and instinctually attracted to women sexually and aesthetically, but I’m way more attracted to men platonically and aesthetically. My attraction to people is very deep once I feel a connection with them, but it takes a LOT of time for me to feel comfortable enough to open up to people even a little bit. I can be attracted to anyone aesthetically very easily, though. My relationship anarchy is mostly with my husband and my friends. My husband is my number one best friend, but he’s also my soulmate and the only person I feel alterously attracted to. I consider friendships to be a type of deep established relationship, too. 

Yes but it was for getting married to them, not wanting to date them. I also got friend crushes very frequently though. 

On 10/24/2020 at 3:54 AM, Alaska Native Manitou said:

I grew up in the Alaska wilderness.  We were far from people but some animals would eat out of my hand, & my best friend was a wolf.  Since then I've lived in towns & now a city; I've taken care of dogs, cats, rabbits, goldfish, parakeets, cockatiels, & chickens.  I also remember the forget-me-nots & sitka spruces in Alaska & have had various houseplants, particularly aloes.

Which non-humans have been important to you?

 

I have two ball pythons, a crested gecko and a Russian tortoise. I’ve had many other reptiles besides that growing up, too. They’ve gotten me through so much shit. My cat Murka is also so much of a lifeline for me. She keeps me going. 

If you’re from the DMV (DC/MD/VA) or would like to come to a trip to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, let me know in the replies! I’ve seen a few posts here about aro meetups and I thought it would be fun to have a little group of us go to a museum. Let me know if this is something you’d be interested in and I can get started with planning and putting flyers up outside. It would be in the summer to allow people time to plan. I have no aro friends so I thought, why not! :)

1 hour ago, LIVI0 said:

ik very well that i dont experience romantic nor sexual attraction before lately discovering im anattractional so the baseline is simple; when i experience attraction its mild and nothing like how ppl would describe romantic & sexual attraction. for me; aesthetic is 'this person is so pretty'; platonic is 'i want to be close friends and talk more' and alterous is 'i simply want to be close. there is no clear goal in mind' while being mildly drawn to the individuals im attracted to

in my entire life i never once thought of 'i want to be in a romantic relationship w them' or 'i want to sexually engage w them'. so that made everything way easier

I feel aesthetic attraction mostly, then sexual attraction, then I think platonic attraction. Most of the people I’m attracted to are sensual attractions. I’m a photographer, so it’s like, people that catch my eye and would look great in photos are who I’m aesthetically attracted to. But there aren’t many of them that I would have sex with, and none of them I would date. 

Thank you for your replies by the way, everyone, they’re a big help :’)

1 hour ago, HelloThere said:

Ok that post actually helped a lot. I thought that platonic or aesthetic just HAD to be really strong. I never thought a mild desire to be friends was platonic, I thought that's just well... friends. Yeah the only things I've felt are aesthetic or platonic but acting on things just sounds kinda not like me. I mean relationships sound cool but I would live fine without one, not to mention that the commitment sounds exhausting and I just don't want one. I'm still trying to drive the societal stereotype of "if you enjoy someone of a different gender than it's absolutely love" out of my mind, it's incredibly frustrating because it just keeps messing with my ability to logically think things through. 15 years of being told that romance is the only thing you need really takes a toll on ones logic.

Ah, I’m glad my post and the replies on it ended up helping you! Seems like we’re in a similar boat of figuring ourselves out haha

I am married and have been for nearly four years, and it’s the happiest part of my life. My husband and I do everything together, and I love him so much, more than anything. My love for him transcends anything romantic. Being married is a dream come true. I would never marry anyone else besides him, though. 

I’m 28 and thought I was alloromantic my entire life, and only recently did I realize I’m aromantic. I’ve been looking back at my relationship history, and I’ve been realizing that each person had to check very specific boxes with me — and every single one — in order for me to even consider them being in a relationship with me. But I’m a very sexual being by nature, so if I was attracted to them enough physically, and they checked off enough boxes as a person, then I’d immediately rush into a relationship. A lot of my relationships ended from me ending things as politely as I could due to suddenly not feeling the “chase” anymore. I’m married now and have been with my husband for almost four years, and he’s my soulmate, but it feels like everyone I’ve ever dated, the boxes I was looking to get checked were his boxes, if that makes sense. Like the whole time, I was looking for him. But truly, I don’t really understand how people “date around,” I’ve always dated people to eventually marry them. I don’t see much of a point in a relationship otherwise, and people who stay in romantic relationships who have enough freedom to leave but don’t confuse the hell out of me. Has anyone else dated a bunch of people, only to realize you were probably actually just making friends with them, and then once things got too romantic on their side, whether you were actually conscious of it or not, you floundered?