Blaze01

2 hours ago, ilse said:

tell them about your squish, they might be weirded out by it at first but it's obvious that it's affecting your friendship as well as yourself. 

I am just so scared to do this. What if they don’t get it? What if they do find it weird and it ruins everything that we have?

I wouldn’t even know how to start a conversation and start explaining this to them without it being weird or seeming overbearing.

I’m going to apologise in advance for the long post but any help/ advice would be appreciated.

So, I have known for a long time that I’m asexual but have also recently realised I am aromantic too. Along the way to this discovery, I read up around the idea of ‘squishes’. I think I may have developed a squish on one of my close friends and I don’t really know what to do.

I feel recently that we have gotten much closer then any of my other platonic relationships ever have been. I love this person so much and they make me so happy. I want to be important to them and spend time around them or talk to them a lot. I am quite a tactile person so I just want to be close to them and cuddle them but wouldn’t want to kiss them or do anything “romantic?”. I also get jealous if they mention that they have other “besties” or at the idea of them being in a relationship but not because I want them to be “mine” but because I feel like they wouldn’t have time for me anymore.

I find it really difficult to cope as I know they don’t feel as strongly about me as I do about them. I find it difficult if they don’t talk to me for a while and go through periods of convincing myself that they don’t like me and that I’m a burden. They know I’m ace and questioning aro but I don’t feel like they would get the concept of a “squish” and it would scare them off. I also don’t want to be too pushy with anything or with my need to be ‘touchy feely’ as I know they probably don’t feel as strongly about me.

Should I tell them I’m squishing? Will this go away and should I just hope for that? This is the first time I’ve experienced anything like this and I don’t know what to do. Hell - it could be a crush for all I know.