CreativeCat
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1 hour ago, Neon Green Packing Peanut said:
Hi!
So romance repulsion is definitely a thing, for aros, and alloromantic people. Personally, I fluctuate between romance (and sex) positive, indifferent, and adverse for other people's relationships. I still am happy for my friends. Sometimes, I even enjoy hearing about their relationships. However, every now and then, I'll be talking about romance and get the urge to just get out of the situation. I don't really get why, it just is how it is. And when romance is turned on me, it's the same. Just one big "NO" and feeling super uncomfortable.
As for what's helped me, I would recommend that she set boundaries with her friends. So they know what she is okay with discussing, and what she is not. I did that when I came out to one of my best friends, and so far, our discussions around that matter have been much more comfortable for me. She also has similar reading tastes to me, so can sometimes warn me if a scene will make me uncomfortable.
Additionally, I would make sure that she is aware of how her interactions change due to her romance repulsion. It took someone saying (not to my face) that he hated me for me to realize that my "ignoring" boys (so people wouldn't think I had a crush on them) was actually me being incredibly mean to them until they left me alone.
I also found this thread, which talks about different ways romance repulsion may occur.
I hope any of this helped!
Thank you! Yes, this is incredibly helpful!
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Hello!
I'm the mom of a 13 year old Aro/Ace girl. My daughter told me she was Aro/Ace two years ago. I'm 100% supportive of her.
I do, however, need help understanding something, and I'm hoping you can enlighten and educate me.
She says she is repulsed by all topics on relationships, and is repulsed by seeing or talking about other people in relationships.
In my mind, I think like this... I'm straight, but I would never be repulsed or upset at someone for telling me they are gay. I would celebrate with them when they found their soul mate. I would think that similarly, a gay person would celebrate if a straight person found their soul mate. Another example of my thinking. I'm not repulsed by someone who's Trans, and I would assume that they aren't repulsed by a non-Trans person.
I'm wondering, is she going to never want to congratulate or celebrate with those who do find and embrace relationships? And if so, then how can I help her to navigate this world without seeming rude or impolite to those who are in relationships.
So, my hope then, is that you can help me to better understand and relate to her. I'm open and full of love here. No judgements coming from me. I wish to learn. Thank you for letting me in, and for accepting me.
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Mother of Aro here
in Aromantic Relationships
Posted
Thank you so much for sharing! This is so helpful!