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How frequently do you get squishes?


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I'm curious...  I have had only 2 ever (spaced five years apart) (I'm only 19).  But reading people here and talking to one of my irl friends who also experiences squishes, it seems like it can vary a lot.

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I think I've had 3 (I'm 14). Mine were really close together- after the first one was over, it took about a month or so for my second one, (which I've had for about a year, and still have). Then my third one happened a few months after my second one started, then ended a couple months ago.

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19. I have had 13 squishes, since I was 12. On average, that is approximately 2 squishes per year. Here is my actual squish distribution. 

 

Spoiler

 

*Squish Intensity on scale of 1~10, 10 being queerplatonic, 1 being I just want to get to know them better

 

Age              New Squish Count                   Squish Intensity*                   Squish Explanation

12                 1                                                 10                                            Person who I thought was my first "crush." I thought relationships = sexual friendship. I                                                                                                                               hadn't come out as aroace or trans. I thought I was lesbian.


13                 1                                                 10                                            My second "crush," who had internalised homophobia and bullied me for being "lesbian."                                                                                                                             Later became my first ex-girlfriend.
 

14                 1                                                 10                                            My third "crush," a straight girl. We had a sensually affectionate friendship for awhile, until I                                                                                                                         admitted I had a "crush" on her.
 

15                 3                                                 10                                            My fourth "crush," a bisexual closeted transdude, who actually was crushing on other                                                                                                                                   people, and invited me to be on their backburner. I said no. We stopped being friends.
                                                                       
                                                                         8                                             One of my fourth "crush's" actual crushes, a panromantic ace enby, who actually had a                                                                                                                               girlfriend at the time. I never approached them, due to their close proximity to my fourth                                                                                                                               "crush." Eventually they became queerplatonic friends with my  fourth "crush."

 

                                                                         2                                             Platonic infatuation towards a queer girl, who later ended up dating my fourth "crush." I                                                                                                                               didn't try to develop squishes on people related to my fourth "crush," I just went to a small
                                                                                                                        school.
 

16                 2                                                 10                                            My fifth "crush," a girl who I seriously suspected was aro, but just didn't know about                                                                                                                                     aromanticism. I tried to ask her out and got turned down. Then we stopped talking. Now we                                                                                                                         go to the same university. It's not awkward at all.    

                                                                        10                                            Alterous squish, a straight(?) girl who could never make up her feelings about me. We had                                                                                                                         an emotionally intense and unhealthy friendship that lasted for almost 3 years, that I finally                                                                                                                         ended a couple months ago. 

 

17                 1                                                 10                                            My final "crush," who later became my first queerplatonic friend. She's ace, and helped me                                                                                                                         realise I was aro.
 

18                 2                                                 8/-10                                        My extremely straight neighbour who almost never stopped talking about her crush to me

                                                                        10                                            My queer, non-binary roommate, who is now my ex-queerplatonic friend.

 

19                 2                                                 10/0                                         A queer, transmasculine relationship anarchist I met on Scruff, whose relationship style                                                                                                                 ultimately clashed with mine. But we're still friends, just not as close as we were                                                                                                                                   when I was trying to become queerplatonic friends with him.
 

                                                                         8/10                                        My second queerplatonic friend (that's in addition to my first), a queer transguy.  

 

 

So while writing this up I thought my intensity distribution would be a lot more nuanced but no, it turns out I really do just have lots of strong feelings for many people. I tend to experience one new squish at a time, although my alterous friendship happened while my first queerplatonic friendship was forming, and my two most recent squishes were happening at the same time for awhile, until I lost interest in the guy from Scruff.

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I'm 17 (18 in July) and I don't know if I've ever really had a squish... I can only think of one instance and that would be with by best friend at the moment. I consider him my best friend and I just hope we don't loose contact after high school I think it'd break my heart. It's probably the closest thing to a squish I've ever had. 

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I'm almost 17, right now I have 2 squishes, I'm not sure if I had squishes before, or they were crushes. But I have never felt such an intensive desire to be close friends with somebody as I do now. 

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Hmm, 12 at the most, and I'm not entirely sure if all of them were actually squishes or something else (I find this stuff confusing). Some of them lasted for many years. My first was my cousin, when I was like... I dunno... 5?

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I've had 5, I'm 21 now.

2 pansexual cis females (1 at age 12-15 and a good friend, 1 age 14, I actually dated the second briefly)

1 homosexual cis male (age 13-15)

1 Straight? cis female (age 17-19, a friend)

1 homosexual trans male (age 19-20).

The first 3 I thought were crushes as I had never experienced crushes and they were the strongest feelings I had felt about people. They were all very nice people who had traits I admired, self-confidence/creativity.

 

I don't think their gender/sexuality is relevant but it seems interesting

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  • 4 weeks later...

I used to get lots of squishes when I was 12-14 - the same sort of age when my friends were always getting crushes, which is interesting. It makes me wonder if there is a hormonal basis to strong platonic attraction, or if it's to do with the social norm of crushes and wanting to experience that same kind of intense but usually harmless infatuation. As an adult (29) I rarely get squishes but I've learnt the hard way not to assume I'm too old for them! 

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At nearly 26, I don't think I've ever had a squish. It's still not fully clear to me how they differ from simply wanting to be friends with someone.

 

It sounds to me like a squish is defined by a sensual attraction on top off the wish for platonic friendship, but without any romantic or sexual elements? I don't like being sensual/tactile with people without sexual attraction to them, so maybe that's why it's lost on me.

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1 hour ago, Gingerplume said:

At nearly 26, I don't think I've ever had a squish. It's still not fully clear to me how they differ from simply wanting to be friends with someone.

Most of the definitions I've seen refer to an intense desire to be friends with a specific person, so I took a squish as "I really wanna be friends with you" whereas normal wanting friendship would be "I really want a friend". Do other people see it this way or differently?

 

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As a romance neutral sex neutral aro ace I've had quite a few but I'm also the oldest to respond at 30. I couldn't count them, it's been a long time.

 

My earliest would have been at around 16 though. I only came across the term aromantic in the last year or so though so I've been thinking they were crushes most of my life which has been... Confusing. I'm the sort of person who squishes pretty easily. If I feel like you're a good person then I've probably squished over you at least a little at some point. 

 

On 2017-6-17 at 3:37 AM, BionicPi said:
On 2017-6-17 at 1:46 AM, Gingerplume said:

At nearly 26, I don't think I've ever had a squish. It's still not fully clear to me how they differ from simply wanting to be friends with someone.

Most of the definitions I've seen refer to an intense desire to be friends with a specific person, so I took a squish as "I really wanna be friends with you" whereas normal wanting friendship would be "I really want a friend". Do other people see it this way or differently?

 

This is pretty much my take on the issue as well. An intense, directed desire to get to know a specific person. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
31 minutes ago, The Non-Month May said:

Ditto xD I just... I love being friends with people! I got a squish on this guy because of his Pokemon hat, and my friends were so confused...

That reminds me of Jughead. Didn't he squish on a girl because she was dressed up like a burger?

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  • 2 months later...

idk, not too often.  i have one now, on an internet friend; she's awesome.  about a couple a year?  i'm not sure when to define it as a squish, like when the desire for friendship becomes intense enough.  and i have/have had them on several celebrities.

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