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Help! I said yes to a dude who's now in love with me

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So my best friend and I have been friends for about two years. This  year at school (yes, still in high school) our mutual friend began teasing us about being a couple. I wasn't phased by it, but he got really mad when ever she did this. So it turns out that he actually does have a crush on me and so when he asked me out I said sure, because I thought it was more of a joke. but now he's gone crazy and has been asking to kiss me (why do humans even do this) and I don't know how to tell him that I only like him platonically without breaking his heart. He knows I'm aromantic but he's sure that he'll get me to love him. HELP!

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I'll start off by saying that the fact that he believes he can magically change your aromanticism and make you fall in love with him is extremely unsettling. I'm sorry this is happening to you! :(

 

Maybe try telling him gently that you didn't really understand that he was being serious, and you didn't expect him to start asking to kiss you and stuff. Explain that it is uncomfortable for you and that you're sorry for the misunderstanding, but you like him platonically and not romantically. Try assuring him that it's nothing against him, you still care about him and like him, just platonically, and you can't change that. He'll probably still be upset no matter what you say, but if he truly is your friend, he'll respect your wishes. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to please your friend!

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14 minutes ago, techno-trashcan said:

I'll start off by saying that the fact that he believes he can magically change your aromanticism and make you fall in love with him is extremely unsettling. I'm sorry this is happening to you! :(

 

Maybe try telling him gently that you didn't really understand that he was being serious, and you didn't expect him to start asking to kiss you and stuff. Explain that it is uncomfortable for you and that you're sorry for the misunderstanding, but you like him platonically and not romantically. Try assuring him that it's nothing against him, you still care about him and like him, just platonically, and you can't change that. He'll probably still be upset no matter what you say, but if he truly is your friend, he'll respect your wishes. You shouldn't have to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to please your friend!

Thanks!

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I second what @techno-trashcan said...the best policy is honesty, and there's no way you'll be able to tell him the truth without hurting him. But think about it this way--you're hurting him, and yourself, less, by being truthful about your feelings. You're freeing him from the anxiety of worrying that it's somehow his fault that you don't love him, and you're freeing yourself from the anxiety of trying to keep him happy at your own expense. 

 

Even if he doesn't fundamentally understand that he isn't responsible for your aromanticism, please don't ever believe you are responsible for his confusion. To me it sounds like you've been quite clear in communicating your aromanticism. If he can't understand aromanticism, then that's not your fault. You simply can't get through to everybody.

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Speaking as someone who carried on a high school relationship for damn near a year without understanding the difference between platonic and romantic relationships, I cannot stress enough that it would be best to let him down gently, and as soon as possible. He will get hurt. There's no way around it, but be honest with him. Try to explain as best you can that you are not capable of the type of love he wants from you. It's not something you can "change." Staying in a relationship under that assumption would be unfair to both of you.

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