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Josie

Needing someone/feeling lonely

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Hi everyone. I'm feeling really down at the moment, and one of the reasons for that is that i feel so lonely. I hate being aro, or well, I don't. I hate that there's no one like me in my life, I hate that I have no one to talk to and I hate that none of my friends understand me. I don't know what to do. I also really want a platonic relationship, but I dont know how to get one. I need an aromantic friend to talk about experiences and feelings with since i'm still pretty new in the aro community but im too shy and awkward to actually talk to someone on here. I'm basically feeling like shit at the moment and I have no where else to turn to so i just write about it on here hoping someone will care.

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Hey (:

You've got me if you want to talk.

I am grayromantic, so I've had two crushes before and am now in a kind of QPR kind of romantic relationship.

What experiences and feelings do you mean, like having a relationship or about aromanticism in general?

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*hug*

I can relate to that. I felt completely alone and misunderstood about a year ago. Ironically that also made me strong and confident... I decided to be my own best friend and not care what anyone else thinks of me. So I was kind of exaggerating all my quirks and weirdnesses... and I accidentally made a new friend because of that. She actually likes my weirdness.

 

I guess the best thing you can do is accept yourself as you are, and love yourself for being exactly as you are, and not worry about impressing anyone else. Maybe the right people will notice...

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Sorry to hear that @Josie. I understand what it is like to be lonely too. When you aren't interested in romantic relationships but everybody else seems to be, it can feel quite isolating.

 

You mentioned that your friends don't understand you, but have you discussed aromanticism with them? Or are you afraid of outing yourself and they don't really know? I thought the same way before I came out. I assumed nobody would understand me and that I had nobody to talk to. But when I started to tell people how I felt, they really did believe me and support me.

 

You will probably meet with some skeptics but you might be surprised who will be there for you.

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I can emphasize, @Josie; two of my close friends recently started dating, and as much as I like both of them it's getting painful to be around them with all the PDA going on. I'm also the only aro in my friend group, and while I'm open about it and they mostly seem to get it (they don't really get what the difference between a QPR and dating someone is or why I'd want one while hating the idea of the other, but they accept that I just don't want or feel the whole romance thing without arguing about it and that means a lot), it's still lonely, not having anyone close to me to talk to about it who feels the same stuff.

 

Apart from that, know that all of us on here are here for you; we're all in this thing together, and we gotta be there for each other because of that.

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I'm feeling much the same. You can talk to me :). I have friends who love me, and understand that this is who I am, but they can't really... get it completely, you know? They don't understand. It's a lonely feeling, being different from literally every single person you know on the romance spectrum.  

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