Directed Cupioromantisism??

[TrueEvergreen]

Ok so I have been wondering whether or not there is such a thing as directed cupioromantisism, or the desire for a romantic relationship with a specific person without feeling romantic attraction for them. 

For me there is definitely a person that I would have a desire for a romantic relationship with, but I am like 99% certain that I don't feel romantic attraction for them. But at the same time I don't really know if this is what romantic attraction feels like. From what I have heard romantic attraction seems to be something more than just wanting the idea of a romantic relationship with one person, and it is more of an actual feeling rather than what feels more like an opinion. 

Idk I'm just wondering if this is a thing other people have experienced? Is it already a known thing? Is there a specific term for this or is it encompassed just under cupioromanticism? Just some questions I have been having :)
 

 

[tiger_hoods12]

Oh, I have definitely experienced this. I have had a crush before, and I still see him every now and then. Despite not experiencing romantic attraction and not really having a “crush” anymore, a part of me is still kind of interested. I’d be interested in knowing if directed cupioromanticism exists. I did previously identify with that term for a short while because of this crush. But in looking at the term, it definitely means more in general rather than with just one person. So it didn’t feel right to keep called myself that since I didn’t really feel the need to want to be in a relationship with people.
 

I understand your confusion with not knowing if you experienced romantic attraction or not. Trust me, I’ve been there. 🙄 And boy, was it frustrating to figure out if I did or didn’t experience it. I labeled myself as greyromantic because I thought I did, but then later went back to identifying as aromantic again, because I realized I didn’t actually FEEL the attraction. It was more of a logical thing. Similar to what you said about forming the opinion, for me, I could really only logically form the idea of dating him and liking the idea. There was really no feeling backing it up.  I’m not sure if there is a term other than directed cupioromanticism.
 

I haven’t heard of anything like that personally. But I now identify as borearomantic. Which basically means that I have a set romantic orientation with an exception. Obviously, my exception being my past crush and really the only person I’d be willing to date. I still don’t experience romantic attraction towards him, but I still count it as an exception because I experienced other forms of attraction towards him that were very intense and only happened with him.

[TrueEvergreen]

2 hours ago, tiger_hoods12 said:

Oh, I have definitely experienced this. I have had a crush before, and I still see him every now and then. Despite not experiencing romantic attraction and not really having a “crush” anymore, a part of me is still kind of interested. I’d be interested in knowing if directed cupioromanticism exists. I did previously identify with that term for a short while because of this crush. But in looking at the term, it definitely means more in general rather than with just one person. So it didn’t feel right to keep called myself that since I didn’t really feel the need to want to be in a relationship with people.
 

I understand your confusion with not knowing if you experienced romantic attraction or not. Trust me, I’ve been there. 🙄 And boy, was it frustrating to figure out if I did or didn’t experience it. I labeled myself as greyromantic because I thought I did, but then later went back to identifying as aromantic again, because I realized I didn’t actually FEEL the attraction. It was more of a logical thing. Similar to what you said about forming the opinion, for me, I could really only logically form the idea of dating him and liking the idea. There was really no feeling backing it up.  I’m not sure if there is a term other than directed cupioromanticism.
 

I haven’t heard of anything like that personally. But I now identify as borearomantic. Which basically means that I have a set romantic orientation with an exception. Obviously, my exception being my past crush and really the only person I’d be willing to date. I still don’t experience romantic attraction towards him, but I still count it as an exception because I experienced other forms of attraction towards him that were very intense and only happened with him.

Honestly it's nice to know that at least one other person has experienced this kind of thing. And you are right, it sucks trying to figure out romantic attraction stuff, I have been trying to figure it out for years now :(