Figuring Out My Racial Identity

[That_Gurl_Sparklez]

(This is copy and pasted from one of my status updates)

Racial social structures are hard :( 

Like- not me discovering I have a maybe significant amount of Native American in my family tree that could be enough to make me white-passing biracial this whole time.

But my parents are heavily anti-DNA test (stupid I know "OMG THE GOVERNMENT IS GONNA STEAL OUR DNA!!!!" -_-) so I have no way of figuring it out for sure for another couple of years. 

I know that my great-great grandma was 100% Native American of the Cherokee tribe, but I have no idea about my great-grandma's dad, or my grandma's dad, or my mom's dad. Then my dad's side is even more confusing I know someone (either great or great-great grandparent) on my dad's side was also fully Indigenous- but I also don't know any more important details past that. 

I look white, my parents do to, my grandma less-so but still kinda, and my dad's side I don't see enough to remember (even though I literally saw them this Thanksgiving lol) But me and my parents could just be white-passing this whole time? I mean, I always have been a shade or 2 darker than all of my white friends- but I always just said I "wasn't pale" or something??

Or am I just severely tired, stressed, and overthinking this? IDK I was afraid to put this out because I don't wanna see, racist especially if I'm flat out wrong and thinking about this for no reason and it feels weird questioning something I thought I knew for 15 years of my life. 

Someone help 😭

Update: My great-great grandfather on my dad's side was maybe 10% indigenous, maybe more. The grandma I talked about earlier in this was on my mom's side btw. 

I also researched my physical features, and many of them align with many traditional Native American features. From my hair, nose, face shape, eyes, skin tone (to a lesser degree, white-passing but still not nothing), it all aligns at least partially with common indigenous features. I made sure to talk to someone with a significant amount of Native American ancestry and family members before I said any of this, too, and they confirmed that the physical features I was talking about aligned with many in their indigenous side of the family. 

I'm still confused though, I wish I could just get a DNA test ;-;

Edited December 6, 2024 by That_Gurl_Sparklez

[That_Gurl_Sparklez]

Someone help ;-;

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

What's the question?

[Elco]

3 hours ago, That_Gurl_Sparklez said:

help ;-;

Help how, exactly?

Edited December 9, 2024 by Elco

[That_Gurl_Sparklez]

3 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

What's the question?

 

13 minutes ago, Elco said:

Help how, exactly?

Idk exactly what I need right now...I'm just really confused on how to navigate this I guess-

I've been socialized as white my whole life and now to find out this new information- it's a lot to process. 

Edited December 9, 2024 by That_Gurl_Sparklez

[Elco]

I'd suggest patience. You don't seem to be under any imminent time pressure, so what's the hurry in needing to figure everything out right now?

Your parents don't want you to get a DNA test? Get one yourself once you're old enough that it's no longer their business. You want to learn about the Cherokee? Read about them, talk to members if you can. That doesn't depend on your ancestry.

As for how you have been socialised, I'd say you have been socialising as youself, first and foremost. The culture you grew up in matters a lot less than the person that comes out of it. Focus on being the kind of person you'd want to be, everything else will fall into place.

Take it all one step at a time. You'll figure out the details as you go along.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

Eh, these things happen. I didn’t know I was Taíno until I was an adult, but it’s not like it actually changed anything. It’s not a big deal

[That_Gurl_Sparklez]

3 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Eh, these things happen. I didn’t know I was Taíno until I was an adult, but it’s not like it actually changed anything. It’s not a big deal

I mean...for me it is a big deal. This is a key part of my identity- and knowing it could be different from what I've been raised as my whole life is a big deal to me. 

5 hours ago, Elco said:

I'd suggest patience. You don't seem to be under any imminent time pressure, so what's the hurry in needing to figure everything out right now?

Your parents don't want you to get a DNA test? Get one yourself once you're old enough that it's no longer their business. You want to learn about the Cherokee? Read about them, talk to members if you can. That doesn't depend on your ancestry.

As for how you have been socialised, I'd say you have been socialising as youself, first and foremost. The culture you grew up in matters a lot less than the person that comes out of it. Focus on being the kind of person you'd want to be, everything else will fall into place.

Take it all one step at a time. You'll figure out the details as you go along.

Well I mean- my parents did play a big role in the culture I grew up in. They forced racism down my throat when I was younger (and still somewhat try) and completely ignored this part of our heritage. It's honestly infuriating. I'm trying to figure it out. I intend on doing more research into both Cherokee tribes as well in the mean time of the DNA test. I'm still considering just sneaking one past them though-