Identity Changes

[Ryli]

Is it bad that I seem to have a change in my romantic identity more than I've seen others? I've been the person that 3 different people came out to and they're always so sure but I don't know. I uses to be AroAce then CupioAce, and now DemiAce. And I still think I'm a girl but I also don't seem to mind being called by they/them either. I Grew up in a not so great Christian household and I'm still trying to figure this out. What's going on? 

Edited November 20 by Ryli

[Picklethewickle]

Many people go through a questioning period, and our sense of self can change over time and experience. Many people live without clear definitions on how they feel, or exact labels. You aren't alone in this.

As for the part about pronouns, are you feeling like gender has to be divided by hard lines, and that pronouns have to match an exact gender? Because it's okay for a person's sense of gender to be inexact. Anyone and everyone is allowed to use they/them, even cis people. Pronouns are about what makes you feel comfortable.

[Ryli]

@Picklethewickle Thank you and I'm honestly not sure when it comes to my gender. I feel like im Female (Cis-Female) but also being called by they/them sounds nice too. My name is also a struggle that has been a fight for at least 4-6 months, I just have the random dislike that it varies by day on my dislike of it.

Edited November 20 by Ryli

[catparent7092]

Identity is hard, and some people go through a bunch of self destruction and reflection to get where they want. Others might be fluid forever, others immediately find somethibg comforting. Don't worry about flip flopping, but if it gets in the way of your life, then  consider potentially rethinking some fundamental beliefs you have; forced onto you or not, there may be something that's screwing with your thoughts and feelings. 

[nonmerci]

You can experiment with labels until you find what it is right, this is not a bad thing. I used to ID as greyromantic at first cause I thought I got crushes; then I realized I just had one that lasted two weeks and that the rest was just me looking for a father for my future kids lol. I used to ID as loveless aro, then I realized it doesn't really fit me. Now I just used aromantic or zeromantic when I want to be precise. I used to ID with aplatonic, then I realized that I don't know if it fits or not and that I don't really care, I don't feel the need to label it. Same with sexual orientation (even if ace would fit). As for gender, I had a period when I wondered about it before I realized that I truly was a cis woman.

A lot of people change in particular when they are figuring things out.

[tiger_hoods12]

On 11/20/2024 at 12:09 PM, Ryli said:

Is it bad that I seem to have a change in my romantic identity more than I've seen others? I've been the person that 3 different people came out to and they're always so sure but I don't know. I uses to be AroAce then CupioAce, and now DemiAce.

It’s not bad. A lot of people go through a questioning period. I did. Mostly with my romantic orientation. I previously thought I was ace/aro then it changed to greyromantic, then demiromantic, then aroflux, to cupioromantic, to greyromantic again, to preromantic, then back to greyromantic, until I finally circled back to aromantic again.😅 It was a confusing period, but necessary nonetheless. It’s perfectly normal for people to go through this regardless of their orientation. It’s important just to take your time and be comfortable knowing that identities can change later on. 

[Collie]

I was the same at one point. I'm sure of myself now.

For me, it's having an obsessive brain and being prone to OCD because I want to "be 100% sure".