Whats my sexuality? I'm so confused!

[shyartist]

I've been questioning my sexuality. I think I might be aromantic asexual or biromantic or a lesbian. I don't know? I used to think I was attracted to women because I only have crushes on women. Are celebrity crushes considered real crushes?

I thought I had crushes on them. But I never think  about kissing women or sex with them. I sometimes think that guys are cute but the thought of kissing or sex with them really grosses me out.  I think I forced  myself to have crushes on people.

What does a crush feel like? What's romantic attraction feel like?

And I've never dated anyone. I've never been interested in dating.

I'm  so confused and I feel depressed and I feel alone. 😭

[Neon]

Well, this may be the wrong forum for asking about what romantic attraction feels like but what you’re describing certainly sounds a lot like my experiences figuring out that I’m aroace. I thought I had crushes a few times, but I didn’t even want to think about dating them (I really just wanted to be their friend). Dating someone felt inevitable but not something I wanted.

I can’t tell you what your sexuality is, but I can recommend that you document your thoughts about these things. If you write down that something wasn’t a crush, you can’t doubt it later. Also, looking up videos by people who share the identities you are looking into is very helpful.

[Windi]

Celebrity crushes aren't the same as real ones. Romantic attraction involves wanting a deeper connection. Exploring aromanticism is valid. Talk to a therapist if you're depressed. 

[shyartist]

17 hours ago, Neon said:

Well, this may be the wrong forum for asking about what romantic attraction feels like but what you’re describing certainly sounds a lot like my experiences figuring out that I’m aroace. I thought I had crushes a few times, but I didn’t even want to think about dating them (I really just wanted to be their friend). Dating someone felt inevitable but not something I wanted.

I can’t tell you what your sexuality is, but I can recommend that you document your thoughts about these things. If you write down that something wasn’t a crush, you can’t doubt it later. Also, looking up videos by people who share the identities you are looking into is very helpful.

Hi thanks for  replying. Do you mean writing in a journal? I'm afraid of keeping a journal  because I don't  want my mom or siblings to find it.  What should i do? And do you know any videos or channels I could watch? 

8 hours ago, Windi said:

Celebrity crushes aren't the same as real ones. Romantic attraction involves wanting a deeper connection. Exploring aromanticism is valid. Talk to a therapist if you're depressed. 

Thanks 

[Neon]

2 hours ago, shyartist said:

Hi thanks for  replying. Do you mean writing in a journal? I'm afraid of keeping a journal  because I don't  want my mom or siblings to find it.  What should i do? And do you know any videos or channels I could watch?

I kept mine in a notes app on my tablet (my parents wouldn’t go through my stuff unless they thought there was a safety issue, which never happened) but you could do something like make a google account that you don’t save to any device, and just log in when you are alone.

Ash Hardell’s videos were super helpful for me, and probably more that I’ve forgotten. 

[shyartist]

19 hours ago, Neon said:

I kept mine in a notes app on my tablet (my parents wouldn’t go through my stuff unless they thought there was a safety issue, which never happened) but you could do something like make a google account that you don’t save to any device, and just log in when you are alone.

Ash Hardell’s videos were super helpful for me, and probably more that I’ve forgotten. 

Thank you so much 

[frutiger aro]

while i can't answer that question for sure, i can tell you that celebrity crushes don't necessarily indicate your orientation imo. i also get them to an extent sometimes, yet i know i'm aro because those kinds of feelings just don't translate to real people for me. if that resonates with you then it sounds like you're on the aro/aroace spectrum to me. just my two cents.