Did you ever force yourself to crush on somebody?

[plaguehyrheart]

Throughout my life, I grew up believing that everybody had to like SOMEONE, which made me feel like it was wrong to be aroace for a while (it still does lol.) sometimes I would force myself to like somebody, where I would eventually hyperfixate on them (ADHD + autism came in clutch lmao) and think it was a crush,, which is where I eventually fell with my last "real" relationship of almost a year. did anybody else force themselves to like someone because society deemed it correct?

[A_Mess]

I for sure faked a couple of crushes just because having a crush was the normal thing to do. I would just pick a guy with hair I liked or something surface-level, but I would never do anything about it or actually feel anything for them. Mostly just so I could have an answer when it came up in "girl talk". Even when I was really young I was conscious of the fact that they probably weren't real crushes since those seemed to come with intense feelings I didn't have, but it made me feel normal to have them and I just told myself real feelings would happen with someone eventually. 

[catparent7092]

Nah. I came to terms pretty quickly after my first relationship that there's no way in hell I'd ever fit in with common ideas of romance. Conveniently, getting over the hurdle that I will never feel what someone might feel towards me is a big hurdle and filters out a lot of unwanted attention. 

[Windi]

Society's pressure to have crushes/relationships is intense. I did the same thing, forced a "crush" to fit in, and it was exhausting

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I kind of forced myself to try to romantically like people before? It wasn't because I knew I was aromantic and tried to "fix" myself in a sense, but when I was around my pre-teen ages I was definitely curious as to why I wasn't crushing on anyone nor wanted a romantic relationship, when previously I thought that I was crushing on other kids when I was younger than that. I would fixate on a friend (usually a guy friend) and just - try to will the crush into existence? But I would eventually give it up every single time, because it felt foolish in doing it. And then I found out I'm aromantic and here we are.

[tiger_hoods12]

Just now realizing that I think I did this too. It was back in kindergarten and everyone was telling me who their crush was. They asked me who I like and I originally said no one. Everyone seemed shocked and continued to ask me. I didn’t understand and still don’t understand why they all cared so much when we were all only five years old.
 

Anyway, I got tired of people asking so I just picked a random person to like. Well, it wasn’t completely random since I was careful who to choose because I knew they were going to ask specific questions about the guy. So I chose someone I did like (on a friend level) and was interested to get to know. I actually really tried to trick myself into liking him.

I mean I remember thinking he was cute because he wore glasses that made his eyes look super large, but I don’t think I ever liked him on a romantic level. But I knew that I would need some type of proof to show my “affection.” So I tried to make moves on him. During story time, I would sit next to him and place my head to his shoulder to rest on. I even tried holding his hand, blowing him kisses, and even winking at him during class. You know, despite me not actually liking him, five year old me was a huge flirt and did not hold back. Probably because I had nothing to lose lol 😂!

However, I only did this once and never again. This first time was too exhausting to keep up the lies with. After that, any time someone asked if I liked someone, I was completely honest and said no. I kind of just thought that at some point in the future I’ll get a crush and there was no need to force/rush anything. Then I found the term aromantic and then was like “oh.”

Edited Saturday at 02:49 PM by tiger_hoods12

[Collie]

I did once, to try and fit in. Almost had myself convinced the crush was genuine, even. I was trying so hard.

[DreamSeeker]

I don’t think I ever did. I always thought I did already experience crushes (though now I know they weren’t actual crushes and probably just friendships), so I didn’t really have any reason to. 
 

I remember faking one once though before I even knew I was aromantic. I don’t even really know why I did it. Maybe just to see if I could pull it off. This girl in my math class was like do you like him? I said yeah and I was blushing so of course she believed me.  It was never brought up again after that.