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bi, pan, or ace? TMI warning and two for brief talk of sexual harassment and SA


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I thought I was just asexual, but now I believe that my mental illness may be affecting me. After all I am still young (almost legal ofc). 

 

 

-I'm confused by the suggestive comments my peers and other people make when they look at a conventionally sexually attractive person.

 

-I can look at conventionally sexually attractive people and not feel anything. No arousal, or any desire to sleep with them.

 

-I was only turned on once and wanted to do sexually intimate things with an ex of mine, however never found her hot once before, and never got like that before in our relationship, except when it came to audio stuff (through call). The attraction faded and never came back the same day. 

 

-I found the action of a guy hot once (he was shirtless and soaking wet, since he doused himself in water). 

 

-I've had sexual fantasies, which did turn me on, but despite it being in first person, 9/10 the person I imagine doing it with isn't real, and is very vague in detail since I can't imagine a face. 

 

-The idea of having sex rarely makes me excited, but mostly uncomfortable and a tad bit disgusted. I don't like the idea of anything entering my lower part, let alone the idea of me masturbating, because it makes me severely uncomfortable and on the verge of panic/anxiety. If anyone tries going there I'd scream bloody murder, and I HATE the idea of that, and also hate the idea of masturbation. And I hate the idea of my chest being touched, but much less so than that other area. I have no idea of this is tied to gender dysphoria or something else. 

 

-I can be invested in sex scenes in films, yet also confused and weirded out when it involves specific kinks. 

 

-I want to stay a virgin.

 

-I can envision myself actually having sex, even if I want to have sex.

 

-I don't see sex as an act of love, but rather just a source of pleasure or to lessen horniness.

 

-I do want sex and come to think of it there's a form of it I may not mind, since it isn't entering my lower front area. Again if anyone tried touching me in that specific area I'd scream bloody murder, panic, and cry.

 

-I may have been sexually attracted to a girl once, but I honestly wouldn't mind if I got with a guy that way, as long as they don't touch the areas I'm uncomfortable with (I.e. my chest and genitals), and is okay with doing the only form of sex I'm okay with. I really just don't care.

 

-I can go from sex favorable, to repulsed, to indifferent, to ambiguous. 

 

-I do like the label asexual.

 

-I don't think I'll ever experience sexual attraction ever again, and am fine with the idea of never experiencing it ever again. However I'd still like to have sex.

 

Also I don't think I have any SA trauma (I do have trauma from sexual harassment though), I just thought I'd say that to clear things up.

 

Also some of what I said sounds confusing and contradictory I'm sorry. 😭🙏

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5 hours ago, Needlemouse said:

I thought I was just asexual, but now I believe that my mental illness may be affecting me. After all I am still young (almost legal ofc). 

 

 

-I'm confused by the suggestive comments my peers and other people make when they look at a conventionally sexually attractive person.

 

-I can look at conventionally sexually attractive people and not feel anything. No arousal, or any desire to sleep with them.

 

-I was only turned on once and wanted to do sexually intimate things with an ex of mine, however never found her hot once before, and never got like that before in our relationship, except when it came to audio stuff (through call). The attraction faded and never came back the same day. 

 

-I found the action of a guy hot once (he was shirtless and soaking wet, since he doused himself in water). 

 

-I've had sexual fantasies, which did turn me on, but despite it being in first person, 9/10 the person I imagine doing it with isn't real, and is very vague in detail since I can't imagine a face. 

 

-The idea of having sex rarely makes me excited, but mostly uncomfortable and a tad bit disgusted. I don't like the idea of anything entering my lower part, let alone the idea of me masturbating, because it makes me severely uncomfortable and on the verge of panic/anxiety. If anyone tries going there I'd scream bloody murder, and I HATE the idea of that, and also hate the idea of masturbation. And I hate the idea of my chest being touched, but much less so than that other area. I have no idea of this is tied to gender dysphoria or something else. 

 

-I can be invested in sex scenes in films, yet also confused and weirded out when it involves specific kinks. 

 

-I want to stay a virgin.

 

-I can envision myself actually having sex, even if I want to have sex.

 

-I don't see sex as an act of love, but rather just a source of pleasure or to lessen horniness.

 

-I do want sex and come to think of it there's a form of it I may not mind, since it isn't entering my lower front area. Again if anyone tried touching me in that specific area I'd scream bloody murder, panic, and cry.

 

-I may have been sexually attracted to a girl once, but I honestly wouldn't mind if I got with a guy that way, as long as they don't touch the areas I'm uncomfortable with (I.e. my chest and genitals), and is okay with doing the only form of sex I'm okay with. I really just don't care.

 

-I can go from sex favorable, to repulsed, to indifferent, to ambiguous. 

 

-I do like the label asexual.

 

-I don't think I'll ever experience sexual attraction ever again, and am fine with the idea of never experiencing it ever again. However I'd still like to have sex.

 

Also I don't think I have any SA trauma (I do have trauma from sexual harassment though), I just thought I'd say that to clear things up.

 

Also some of what I said sounds confusing and contradictory I'm sorry. 😭🙏

Well, you know... asexuality is a spectrum. You don't have to have 100% no kind of sexual feelings in any kind of way to be ace or on the spectrum

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On 10/22/2024 at 5:41 PM, Zozz said:

Well, you know... asexuality is a spectrum. You don't have to have 100% no kind of sexual feelings in any kind of way to be ace or on the spectrum

I'm aware. 

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2 hours ago, Needlemouse said:

I'm aware

...... ok why are you so salty 😭

Edited by Zozz
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On 10/22/2024 at 12:09 PM, Needlemouse said:

I thought I was just asexual, but now I believe that my mental illness may be affecting me. After all I am still young (almost legal ofc). 

 

 

-I'm confused by the suggestive comments my peers and other people make when they look at a conventionally sexually attractive person.

 

-I can look at conventionally sexually attractive people and not feel anything. No arousal, or any desire to sleep with them.

 

-I was only turned on once and wanted to do sexually intimate things with an ex of mine, however never found her hot once before, and never got like that before in our relationship, except when it came to audio stuff (through call). The attraction faded and never came back the same day. 

 

-I found the action of a guy hot once (he was shirtless and soaking wet, since he doused himself in water). 

 

-I've had sexual fantasies, which did turn me on, but despite it being in first person, 9/10 the person I imagine doing it with isn't real, and is very vague in detail since I can't imagine a face. 

 

-The idea of having sex rarely makes me excited, but mostly uncomfortable and a tad bit disgusted. I don't like the idea of anything entering my lower part, let alone the idea of me masturbating, because it makes me severely uncomfortable and on the verge of panic/anxiety. If anyone tries going there I'd scream bloody murder, and I HATE the idea of that, and also hate the idea of masturbation. And I hate the idea of my chest being touched, but much less so than that other area. I have no idea of this is tied to gender dysphoria or something else. 

 

-I can be invested in sex scenes in films, yet also confused and weirded out when it involves specific kinks. 

 

-I want to stay a virgin.

 

-I can envision myself actually having sex, even if I want to have sex.

 

-I don't see sex as an act of love, but rather just a source of pleasure or to lessen horniness.

 

-I do want sex and come to think of it there's a form of it I may not mind, since it isn't entering my lower front area. Again if anyone tried touching me in that specific area I'd scream bloody murder, panic, and cry.

 

-I may have been sexually attracted to a girl once, but I honestly wouldn't mind if I got with a guy that way, as long as they don't touch the areas I'm uncomfortable with (I.e. my chest and genitals), and is okay with doing the only form of sex I'm okay with. I really just don't care.

 

-I can go from sex favorable, to repulsed, to indifferent, to ambiguous. 

 

-I do like the label asexual.

 

-I don't think I'll ever experience sexual attraction ever again, and am fine with the idea of never experiencing it ever again. However I'd still like to have sex.

 

Also I don't think I have any SA trauma (I do have trauma from sexual harassment though), I just thought I'd say that to clear things up.

 

Also some of what I said sounds confusing and contradictory I'm sorry. 😭🙏

i would advise you to look into different labels and reflect a lot on your feelings, it might turn out that you find something oddly specific that fits or you might just be ace-spec but I feel like there are labels out there that fit just how you feel :) good luck!

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