I was asked out today for the first time and I want to stop thinking about it

[BlondieQQQ]

I recently went back to college and was happy to make a friend, especially since my previous college year was spent during lockdown. To keep it short, I've been hanging out with that friend during school hours for pretty much a month, and he's honestly really nice and understanding. Today he asked me out, which is the first time I've ever been asked out, and I couldn't help but feel totally uncomfortable. I always had a strong feeling I was a romance repulsed aromantic but now I know it for a fact. Since this is the first time I was asked out, I can't stop thinking about it since he's also my only friend in school. It's making me feel physically ill honestly and I can't stop cringing at the whole thing. I'm worried that I might feel this much discomfort in the future as well if something like this happens again. Any advice to block this out is so appreciated.

[Guest]

Have you ever told him about you being a romance repulsed aro, and if he tries to ask you out again, just say the truth and say something about hoping you can still be friends even despite the romantic rejection, because you can’t even reciprocate the romance. Whether or not he will keep the friendship or abort it would be up to him, yes it sucks if he aborts it just because you don’t love him romantically, but that’s more of his problem and less of yours. If that happens you’ll lose a friend, but he was the one who cancelled it, all you did was be honest about being unable to reciprocate romance. Hopefully your friend understands and can keep the friendship, but nobody knows how he will react except himself.

If you want to guard yourself from such “discomfort in the future”, perhaps wear items or accessories showing aro pride to signal to others, or if that’s not your thing, just tell people you’re aro as early as possible. Or look for friends whose orientation will never consider you romantically.