Anyone else had to deal with fake friends/people? 😒

[tiger_hoods12]

I have yet to see another thread talking about this, but has anyone had to deal with fake friends before. I certainly have. Happened at school, with a group of girls claimed to be my friend when they would say the most hurtful and racist shit behind my back. I confronted them about it but the leader of the group decided to pull the whole “gaslighting” trick. Didn’t work, and I immediately left them in the dust. Another time was back in high school, who was also lowkey bigoted, and acted like we were best buddies when we only knew each other for only two days. She became very possessive very quickly. Demanding my number and honestly stalking me at times. She wasn’t fake, she was down right toxic. Also left her in the dust. Anyway, what about you guys? Do you guys need to vent about anyone?

[MulticulturalFarmer]

Yeah that's why I'm pretty judicious with people and almost in a screwed up way prefer online friendships sometimes, due to how easy it is to vet people. However,  my brain could also rationalize that in many respects it's better to talk to people in real life for things like social cues, facial expressions, etc. So it's rather tough, sadly.

 

[Duck The Guy]

2 hours ago, MulticulturalFarmer said:

Yeah that's why I'm pretty judicious with people and almost in a screwed up way prefer online friendships sometimes, due to how easy it is to vet people. However,  my brain could also rationalize that in many respects it's better to talk to people in real life for things like social cues, facial expressions, etc. So it's rather tough, sadly.

never related to anybody harder omg literally every word i relate to 😭 

[MulticulturalFarmer]

14 hours ago, Duck The Guy said:

never related to anybody harder omg literally every word i relate to 😭 

Yeah even online you gotta be careful, this website ain't too bad as it's super small and not large (and it honestly a breath of fresh air), but be super duper careful, please on Reddit (especially that place), Facebook, instagram, anything where people go wild posting controversies.

[Neon]

I've been lucky enough to never experience that with any of my close friends, but it has happened a few times with people I was friends with, but not super close to. Unfortunately, they were close to my close friends, so that fallout was rough. I know that some people will genuinely improve (especially this early on in their lives), but I reserve the right to hate them forever, no matter what.

Edited September 23 by Neon
grammar

[SkyTuneRein]

Lots. Sadly, even the not-so-fake people in my life can be toxic too.

[ABC]

Yes, they would act all kind, nice and friendly in my face, but behind others’ backs they secretly despise parts of me and air their negative opinions about me not to me but to other people. When those other people let me know about it, we collectively left this person. This person also brought up things they don’t like about those other people to me, so it quickly became suspicious after the others let me know about it. This person would never bring up negative things about someone directly at them, but only to other people.

After we left them, they confronted us why we left them, even had to say “do you hate this person [them] now”, we hate the behavior of acting differently behind others’ backs, and enjoyed hanging out with them, but since they kept blaming us for leaving them, and never wanting to see that they were problematic for acting differently behind others’ backs, well, we don’t like them anymore. And of course they also had to gaslight and deflect blame back at us for leaving them although they were friendly and supportive, well, they were, but don’t act differently behind others’ backs, something this person either understands but wants no accountability for, or they genuinely don’t understand and think it’s fine to do if nobody catches them, until they got caught.

It’s especially a shame too when before it got out that they don’t like you behind your back, they were very supportive whenever I talked about my problems (not involving the other person), and I was very supportive too when they talked about their problems (not involving me). Notice how both parties couldn’t directly bring up problems about each other, it’s because that person always ignores/deflects accountability if directly confronted, and that person would never bring up problems with me to me, but only to other people. For an amount of time, they were actually a real, genuine friend, until their behavior of secretly disliking parts of you behind your back got out.

These kinds of people never want accountability, they’d hang out with you acting all nice, supportive and friendly, but behind your back they’d admit things they actually don’t like about you. They are freeloaders who only want the ups of platonic relationship while trying to minimize the downs, but ironically they set themselves up for failure by talking about things they don’t like about someone not directly to the person, but to others instead, essentially completely avoiding the difficult part of the mature ability to agree to disagree. And nobody likes being betrayed.