Not confident

[Needlemouse]

I don't know where to post this, but I feel like maybe I'm not really aro-spec. What if I'm not really demiromantic. What if I'm not really demisexual and greysexual? I feel like my orientations should align with each other, and I feel like I don't belong in the aro/aro-spec community. I feel bad for using several labels to describe myself.

 

I feel like something was missing and never knew what it was. I feel fake. But at the same time I feel like I don't fit in with alloromantics.

[MondoBilby]

Do you want to be in a standard romantic relationship? Do you have crushes on people? Or is your experience different from those things? There are other aro labels that could possibly work for you depending on your experience, like cupioromantic (wanting a relationship but not being able to have feelings of romantic attraction) and others.

However, if you really don’t think any of the aro labels suit you, that is perfectly ok too. Questioning aros are just as valid, it can definitely be a very confusing time to figure out what you really identify with. If you don’t think you can identify with being aro in any way, that’s fine! And later on, if you want to come back and try some labels again, that’s also fine! You’re always welcome!

Like I said in one of your other posts, I do know alloromantic people who fall out of the typical alloromantic expectations and don’t relate with other allos, so it is definitely a thing. Just take your time though, try out different things. You’re not “fake”, you just haven’t found the right identity for yourself yet, and that is A-OK.

[ravigirl]

It’s important to remember is that labels were made for people, not the other way around. If a label doesn’t describe your experience exactly, that doesn’t mean you can’t still identify with it. The only one who can tell you how you identify is you.