I need to breakup

[OliV]

Hii yall :))

So, I'm 17 and in a relationship with a guy that is in love with me. I mean IN LOVE. He is struggling with his mental health for the past few years and he says that I'm his only source of happiness. He has had a crush on me for like 2 years prior and since March we are together. I said yes, because I didn't want to reject him for the third time and I thought that I might be feeling  something towards him. But now, it really drains me. He is a wonderful guy, he understands that I'm an asexual, but he doesn't know that I'm also aromantic (obviously). Each day when we say that we love each other, I know that's not true, but I don't know how to tell him. He wants to spend all his free time with me and I'd rather just chill on my own and enjoy my own company. Also, lately he has been very unappreciative of everything everyone around him does and asks me to comfort him all the time. I don't have the strength to do so anymore.
What should I do? How should I tell him? How should I explain, that I wasn't honest with him for so much time?

Thanks 😕

[Duck The Guy]

Others with more experience may be able to give more advice, but what i can say is simply that you need to tell him as soon as possible. There's no good time to break up with someone, it's always gonna be at least a little rough when it's a one-sided breakup

3 hours ago, OliV said:

I said yes, because I didn't want to reject him for the third time and I thought that I might be feeling  something towards him

If this is the third time he's asked and it only worked out for a few months, then i have to say he probably won't be surprised unfortunately 😭 Pick a time, be honest and just tell him that you made a mistake. You thought you were going to be happy in a relationship with him but you were wrong, you're definitely aromantic and won't be happy in a romantic relationship (not to say that you can't be happy in a relationship, but that's probably what you should tell him lol)

3 hours ago, OliV said:

Also, lately he has been very unappreciative of everything everyone around him does and asks me to comfort him all the time.

Yeah in general it seems you need a break asap and he needs to be more accepting of support. In the future you'll be better able to set boundaries so you won't be in this situation again hopefully!! best of luck to you, i'm here to talk if you ever need to!!

[Cavetowns_fkin_awesome]

Be honest with him, I've done the same thing before and had to go up to them and just say "Hey I'm sorry but I thought I liked you but I've found that I don't really feel much of romantic attraction towards anyone. I really would like to stay friends and still hang out but I didn't want to pretend I like you and hurt you more in the future. I hope you understand" We're still very close and have a friend relationship. (Please don't take this too much to heart I don't have much experience and I don't want my advice to cause more issues.) Good luck!

[OliV]

Thanks guys for the advice. Also sorry for not visiting here for a while, I didn't expect anyone to reply lol.
I still haven't told him, but I think i will after the beginning of February, so after our school "prom" (in Poland we don't have a prom, but we have something similar). I don't want him to be alone during the winter/fall because that's when he needs support the most. Hopefully everything will go well, I'll keep you posted.
If you have any other advice, I'd be very grateful!
Thanks and until next time 👋

[ghost_bean]

On 9/18/2024 at 10:28 AM, OliV said:

Hii yall :))

So, I'm 17 and in a relationship with a guy that is in love with me. I mean IN LOVE. He is struggling with his mental health for the past few years and he says that I'm his only source of happiness. He has had a crush on me for like 2 years prior and since March we are together. I said yes, because I didn't want to reject him for the third time and I thought that I might be feeling  something towards him. But now, it really drains me. He is a wonderful guy, he understands that I'm an asexual, but he doesn't know that I'm also aromantic (obviously). Each day when we say that we love each other, I know that's not true, but I don't know how to tell him. He wants to spend all his free time with me and I'd rather just chill on my own and enjoy my own company. Also, lately he has been very unappreciative of everything everyone around him does and asks me to comfort him all the time. I don't have the strength to do so anymore.
What should I do? How should I tell him? How should I explain, that I wasn't honest with him for so much time?

Thanks 😕

I would get him some help for mental health, try to introduce him to other people, and just rip off the bandaid and tell him. If you still wanna be close with him I would try a QPR. Also set your boundaries, if he is being too much, tell him.  good luck <3