I feel like a fraud.

[Guest Acestarx]

I'm aspec and arospec and i'm dating someone. And I know that aroace people can date and all that, but at the same time I see other aroace people celebrating being uninterested in having relationships and being happy they don't have to carry that burden, and as much as I'm so happy for them, I feel like a fraud. Like the fact I'm on the asexual spectrum and on the aromantic spectrum but in love with someone makes me not real, that I'm not a valid aroace person. And I don't know if I'm being insensitive or a crybaby, but I just need someone to tell me I'm valid. Please. 

[Needlemouse]

You're very valid! Just because others have a disinterest in that stuff doesn't make you a fraud.You certainly aren't a fraud. You're a very valid person in the aroace-spec community.

[kira-]

unfortunately there are gatekeepers in this world who will try to tell you that you’re fake since you don’t play be their rules, but i have known several aroace and aspec people who have been in relationships and felt love and they are still just as valid as you, me, or anyone else in this community or using one of these labels. never let other people or more importantly you stop you from being yourself, especially if it’s only for the benefit of others.

[TrueEvergreen]

As long as you identify with some aro or acespec identity, you can be aroace

Just because you feel romantic attraction in certain scenarios, doesn't mean that you aren't on the aro spectrum, as you are valid no matter your personal experiences

[Duck The Guy]

as someone who has been in the community for a while, i can tell you that aros dating people is remarkably common actually. it doesn't make anybody more or less aro to date or to remain single

[alto]

It's ok.  Drink a cup of tea, and take a deep breath.  You are still valid.

[Guest RandNDOMUNKNOWNGUEST]

You are 100% valid. Aromanticism and asexuality are spectrums. They just mean little to no romantic and sexual attraction, not ZERO romantic and sexual attraction.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

You are valid! You are aroace! As Duck The Guy said, it's fairly common for aspec people to be in relationships or to be doing "contradictory" things that some other aspecs may try to gatekeep them for. A few of my in-person aspec friends are/were in relationships! With one who is in a romantic relationship currently and another who was previously engaged. Just like how aromanticism and asexuality is a spectrum, how we experience the things that are interwoven within our lives because of those identities is also a spectrum.

You won't be able to control the people who will say you're not aroace for being in love, for being in a relationship (which is all complete bunk, one can be aroace regardless), but when it comes down to it you bare your teeth and hold your chin up high, because they have no right to tell you that you don't exist - especially since all of us are told we don't exist.

Edited September 25 by The Newest Fabled Creature

[ASailorStub]

Haha! Whoever the hell says you ain’t valid (if any) deserves RETRIBUTION. You are you. You have your life and feelings which YOU ARE ENTITLED TO! Any thought or being that says otherwise DESERVES ****** DEATH. … … dang… why am I so aggressive about this? Well! My point still stands!