Any other AceAros getting tired of how much Aces and Aros get lumped together?

[CJandCosplays]

I know there are a ton of non-ace aros that are tired of always being assumed they are ace.

But honestly, as someone who is ace and aro, I'm pretty tired of it too.

I don't really see it as one identity. I am ace. I am aro. And I am acearo. Those all mean vastly different things to me.

And don't get me wrong, I think the sunset aroace flag is really pretty. I just also think since it's been popularized, people have been lumping aro into ace identities even more now (and it's not like it was a rare occurrence before).

Like whenever I wanna add a cute sticker on snapchat, or a fun filter on tiktok, if I search aromantic, the a gets completely ignored and I just get romantic searches (literally the complete opposite of what I'm looking for). But if I search aro, I get aroace and the sunset flag.

Maybe I wanted the green flag.

It's just really annoying.

Edited September 10, 2024 by CJandCosplays

[Duck The Guy]

ABSOLUTELY!! as someone who is very much 100% aro and not exactly asexual, trying to find media/content/discussion or anything about aromanticism that even acknowledges that it's separate from sexual orientation is exhausting 😩(also don't mind me replying to this like a week later lol)

[Neon]

YES. Sometimes I just want to see stuff about aromanticism. Not asexuality, not aroace-ness, not any other aspec identities.

It really should not be as hard as it is.

[Picklethewickle]

Truthfully, I've never seen discussions about aromanticism by itself anywhere but here. I see the rare flag on Pinterest, but that's not a discussion.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I get tired of it quite a bit, too, especially since I'm aroallo; though, I kind of completely ignore my allosexuality now and leave it unlabeled because of my aromanticism, and on rare occasions have considered myself a non-SAM aro. But, I often have friends (and some family) of mine either refer to me as asexual or as aroace, with some of these friends being a part of the aspec community or aro community themselves, which makes it more frustrating (though most of the time this comes from allo friends). It's like, they completely forget that aroallos exist and I have to remind them that I'm aromantic or "the other one"/"the opposite one." A few of them have apologized and said they would do better, and a couple have, but there would still be some that go right back to confidently stating that I'm asexual, and although I know that they're talking about my lack of romantic attraction, asexual still has nothing to do with that and so I still remind them. I know it's not my responsibility to ward away even well-meaning ignorance, but I feel like when it comes from people I know - I can handle it more easily.

[kira-]

i usually lump the two terms together, mostly due to the fact that i’m aspec for all forms of attraction. sometimes the distinction is important, for example i like interacting with the aro community more than the ace community because a lot of the time in the ace community there’s a big focus on existing romantic attraction. i’m also a loveless aro, so that distinction is important. 

[CJandCosplays]

13 hours ago, kira- said:

i usually lump the two terms together, mostly due to the fact that i’m aspec

I totally get that. I lump them together a lot too. I genuinely believe that I can not be aro without being ace and vice versa. Same for being agender and autistic and ace and aro. Those 4 identities are so interconnected to create who I am, I can not separate them from one another.

But like how I can say I'm agender without people assuming I'm all the other identities, I'd sometimes like to be able to talk about only being ace or only being aro sometimes.

I am aroace, but I don't like that half of my identity is just assumed as the other half. My being aro is different from my being ace. They're locked together, and we'll always be together. But they are still two different identities.

[ravigirl]

I do agree a lot with this because I don’t really consider my ace identity a lot. I’m never in a situation where I feel like I have to discuss it. Aromanticism, however, is very present in my life because romance is so present in the world around me. It kind of becomes the label that is most important to me in most situations, and if I’m talking about being aromantic I don’t need someone to bring my asexuality into it.

[kira-]

10 hours ago, CJandCosplays said:

I totally get that. I lump them together a lot too. I genuinely believe that I can not be aro without being ace and vice versa. Same for being agender and autistic and ace and aro. Those 4 identities are so interconnected to create who I am, I can not separate them from one another.

But like how I can say I'm agender without people assuming I'm all the other identities, I'd sometimes like to be able to talk about only being ace or only being aro sometimes.

I am aroace, but I don't like that half of my identity is just assumed as the other half. My being aro is different from my being ace. They're locked together, and we'll always be together. But they are still two different identities.

i know that for a bit i used asexual to mean aroace because i didn't know aromantic was a thing lol. i still separate gender from attraction just because i still don't have it fully figured out, gender apathetic is just the term that works for me right now. honestly wouldn't be surprised if i end up having autism on top of all the other nothingness, i finally get to hear my diagnosis in 5 days. the point is its easy to lump everything together but its also important to understand what different identities mean on their own. kind of like how the ingredients to a soup are just as important as the soup itself.

[LunarSceptre1999xx]

GOD. THIS.

I really really want to explore my aromanticism further, and it irritates me that, as an aroace, the only side that gets attention from media is largely the "ace" part, so much that I feel like I'm not allowed to dive deeper into my aro-ness because why would I bother? There's no representation in the media for that? (Speaking as a very visual person)

Like, the "major" "Asexual icon" Yasmin Benoit actually identifies as aroace too, and yet she is mainly known for her asexuality, and people and their mother are talking about her asexuality whenever she is mentioned; no mention of her aromanticism whatsoever, despite her being using the GREEN aro flag at some point of her appearances, including in a video specifically talking about her aromanticism

It's just... Irritating, for lack of a better word. That's all.

[Zozz]

Thats unfortunately because a lot of people don't know romantic and sexual attraction js different. People say they are bisexual. Or pansexual. the suffix"sexual" was more commonly used and therefore people straight up don't know that aromanticism is a thing, and when they do come to figure that out, the concept of a separate romantic orientation ks very new so they just lump it in with asexuality

Oike my cishetallo friend thought asexual means not being attracted to anyone, she didn't know that it meant to not be attracted to people sexually, and that ace people can still feel romantic feelings. 

Idk if this made sense but yeah. This is more of me trying to say why I think this happens

 Will explain in more detail later-

Edited October 18, 2024 by Zozz