Hey yall

[CJandCosplays]

Hey yall, I'm CJ, I go by they/them and I'm aro.

Figuring about my aromantic identity was a journey. Definitely took more time than figuring out I was ace.

When I was 16, I was questioning my identities, and pretty much just read a tumblr post that described being demiace and went "ok yeah that's me"

Then when I was 21 I started questioning my gender and my where I was on the ace spectrum, so I went to my university's acearo meetings to learn more about my ace identity.

Then the second semester in, the meeting just so happened to land on Valentine's day, and one of my friends said "Happy Palentine's Day" and showed that they made aro valentine's cards (they said things like "I like you, just not in that way" they were cute)

And the sudden rush of platonic affection I got from that simple gesture made me realize I had never felt that strongly about romance ever in my life.

So I tried out a whole bunch of arospec identities, fluctuating all over the spectrum, because realizing that I was alterous, and I never really felt romantic attraction and just started identifying as acearo.

Being aspec and talking about different aspec identities and representation and experiences is such a special interest of mine. I ran the acearo meetings at my university for a couple years before graduating and since then I was have been joining everything that I can in order to find community and people to just talk to for hours about being aspec.

Anyway, hiya, please feel free to talk to me or ask questions.

Edited August 29 by CJandCosplays

[Duck The Guy]

32 minutes ago, CJandCosplays said:

And the sudden rush of platonic affection I got from that simple gesture made me realize I had never felt that strongly about romance ever in my life.

omg i relate to this so hard, i never got the "butterflies in your stomach" thing until i had really good friends who were affectionate with me in a platonic way 

[CJandCosplays]

32 minutes ago, Duck The Guy said:

omg i relate to this so hard, i never got the "butterflies in your stomach" thing until i had really good friends who were affectionate with me in a platonic way 

Exactly.

I think if someone gave me a dozen roses, and we dined at a candlelit dinner, and a 5 string orchestra played, and they said this was all platonic, I would love it so much.

However, if they implied the same was romantic, I'd be so uncomfortable.

I don't know why 1 word change has completely different vibes, but it does.

[MondoBilby]

46 minutes ago, CJandCosplays said:

Exactly.

I think if someone gave me a dozen roses, and we dined at a candlelit dinner, and a 5 string orchestra played, and they said this was all platonic, I would love it so much.

However, if they implied the same was romantic, I'd be so uncomfortable.

I don't know why 1 word change has completely different vibes, but it does.

So trueee, It's amazing how the motive behind taking me to a fancy resturaunt can either make me feel ecstatic or absolutely disgusted lmao. 

Welcome to the forum! Hope you like it here ^_^

Edited August 29 by MondoBilby

[Ekaterina]

Hello and welcome! Very nice to hear you are so happy with your identity! 🤝 Will be happy to talk to you. 

[Duck The Guy]

11 hours ago, CJandCosplays said:

I don't know why 1 word change has completely different vibes, but it does.

yes!! the intention behind an action matters sooo much more than what the action itself is, which i think is why it can be very tricky for our people to figure out that they're different in the first place lol

[CJandCosplays]

16 hours ago, MondoBilby said:

So trueee, It's amazing how the motive behind taking me to a fancy resturaunt can either make me feel ecstatic or absolutely disgusted lmao. 

Welcome to the forum! Hope you like it here ^_^

Right?

Also thank you so much, I'm liking it quite a lot!!

6 hours ago, Duck The Guy said:

yes!! the intention behind an action matters sooo much more than what the action itself is, which i think is why it can be very tricky for our people to figure out that they're different in the first place lol

yeah!! I can't tell you how many times I went through "do I like them, or are they fun to be around and classically attractive?"

16 hours ago, Ekaterina said:

Hello and welcome! Very nice to hear you are so happy with your identity! 🤝 Will be happy to talk to you. 

hello thank you so much

[Duck The Guy]

2 hours ago, CJandCosplays said:

yeah!! I can't tell you how many times I went through "do I like them, or are they fun to be around and classically attractive?"

omg this is so real 😭 even trickier when you're not asexual HAHA