tiger_hoods12 Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 Hey, guys? Not sure if this topic already exists, but I am just curious on what your guys’ thoughts are on having kids of your own. Whether with a partner/queer platonic relationship or by yourself, is it something that you guys think about? In this society, there is a lot of pressure to have kids. Do you guys ever feel this pressure? I also feel like a lot of people assume aromantic spectrum people just don’t want or can’t have kids because they are not with someone. Do you guys genuinely want kids or not? I, purely, just want to know your guys’ thoughts on this in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoodz Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I feel like it’d be cool having a mini me however I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the stress of having a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekaterina Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 40 minutes ago, Spoodz said: I feel like it’d be cool having a mini me however I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the stress of having a child. A child isn't a mini you though, they are their own person, which is important to understand - like half of types of unhealthy parenting are based on projecting onto the child instead of trying to understand their real feelings, or forcing them to have same interests as you do or forcing them to do things you didn't succeed in as if they were your second life. One should be really careful not to do that. As for me, I at this point am not capable to take fully proper care even of myself and struggle with responsibilities as it is, so definitely not ready for children now. But one day when I'm more capable, maybe I'd consider it (mostly adoption because I'm really not sure about my physical condition to give birth, and also I don't think I would ever want a sex partner) 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoodz Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 3 minutes ago, Ekaterina said: A child isn't a mini you though, they are their own person, which is important to understand - like half of types of unhealthy parenting are based on projecting onto the child instead of trying to understand their real feelings, or forcing them to have same interests as you do or forcing them to do things you didn't succeed in as if they were your second life. One should be really careful not to do that. Nono don’t worry I don’t think like that or anything!! I just meant a little person that comes from me rather than a mini me. I wouldn’t try to project anything onto a child and ofc I know they have their own mind. Sorry for the misunderstanding 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mult Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I do not want kids ever. I don't have the patience for them and will only tolerate them in short bursts. The idea of pregnancy disgusts me to the point of body horror as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven-in-daylight Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 At the wise old age of 19, i sure as hell know i’m not in a condition to take care of a child yet. i’m unsure about the idea of having a child myself (mostly because the steps to get there are… uncompromising), but i have at times toyed with the idea of adopting. but it’s still far out, so i haven’t put much thought to it, yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I love kids, but with the current state of things, I think bringing one into this world is too cruel of an act for me to commit. Plus I’ve got other things I want to do with my life. I’ll happily babysit, but actual parenthood just isn’t for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 I have a friend who is 21 (I'm 29) who acts a lot like a little kid. A while back, they asked me to be their "mommy". I said yes, and it is one of the best decisions I ever made. I am not sure I'm up for an actual baby tho. That sounds too intense for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batbath Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 I've known that I don't want kids since I was about 16. Still feel the same way now at 21. Occasionally, I've thought about maybe adopting, but kids are expensive, not to mention the emotional bandwidth you have to have to raise a kid & raise them right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_hoods12 Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Okay, for me, personally, I have always been the type of person that would be okay/happy with or without kids in my life. I can envision myself being both types of people. As a kid, I always thought that the thing that would determine which lane I would choose would be my future partner. I’d ask them how they felt about having kids. If it was a yes, then we would have kids. If it was a no, then we wouldn’t and we’d be just fine. But then I found out I was greyromantic and the chances of finding a partner, let alone marriage is very unlikely for me. The thoughts I have around having kids are still the same. Sometime there are days where I want kids, and then other times I’m like, no thanks. I still have time to decide, so it’s not really freaking me out, the thought had just popped up in my mind. Whatever I decide in the near future or however I feel will determine it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qiri Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 Personally, no kids for me. I've felt pressure from some family members and society to have them, but I never wanted them. No hate or judgement on anyone who does want kids, but for me, I'm okay without them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyTuneRein Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 No thank you, I'd rather have dried raspberries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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