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UncommonNonsense

Would you advise a romantically-oriented friend to date an aromantic person?

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It'd depend on the couple but i wouldn't advise them not to date an aro person any more than i'd advise them not to date an alloromantic person, aro just means no romantic attraction, the person may still be very interested in romance and be a great romantic partner for the person, we can't make assumptions based solely on a lack of attraction :)  

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Sorry to resurrect the thread but at my work we have the kind of environment where casual discussion about sex isn't necessarily weird, and that's how I found out that two of my managers don't believe in monogamy and would essentially rather have a fwb or committed sexual relationship with someone. Neither one identifies as aro.

So in that case I would advise someone not-aro to date someone aro but other than that it's more of a case by case basis. In general I would say no, aros and non aros shouldn't date because if romance is something important to you then you should be with someone who can return your feelings, but like if someone who doesn't identify as aro was interested in an aro person and knew exactly what they were getting into and still wanted to do it and everyone involved is freely consenting and happy with the arrangement, or like if someone wanted to stay with their partner who realized they were aro while already in a relationship and the aro person was ok with that...it's their call.

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On 11/15/2016 at 1:28 AM, UncommonNonsense said:

Here's a question, folks. 

 

Let's say you have a best friend who you do not/cannot date (for whatever reason - maybe they're not attracted to people of your gender).  You want the best for this person because you care about them an awful lot. 

You're aro.  You accept yourself and your identity, and you're not overly conflicted about being aro. 

 

Your best friend meets another aro person and is interested in this person.  You don't know the person your friend is pursuing. 

 

Would you advise your friend that they should date an aromantic person, knowing that your friend is romantically-oriented?  Or would you tell your friend to give up on this particular relationship?  Would the gender and orientation of your friend make a difference?  Would it make a difference to you if the aromantic person your friend likes is asexual or allosexual?

 


 

  This would depend on two things. One- the aro person’s willingness to be in a QPR or something similar and two- how quickly my alloromantic friend falls in love. See, if it was my best friend, who has a tendency to develop crushes really quickly, I would discourage her from pursuing a relationship with them but if it was one of my friends who don’t fall in love as quickly then I would tell them to talk to the aro person and see if they’re open to some kind of relationship. In the end, that would also be my advice to someone like my best friend, but I’d also be like ‘it’s prolly not a good idea’ as well.

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