UncommonNonsense Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm frequently told that I often come across as somewhat dismissive of romantic/sexual relationships when I try to insist that purely platonic friendships can be just as strong and important. To this, I'm like "huh?". I have not said that the romantic/sexual relationships are less valuable or that friendships are better than romantic/sexual relationships, but that's the way people seem to take it. On 28/10/2016 at 10:53 PM, Dodgypotato said: For me, when I have a squish, I do not get sexual attraction. Nor sensual attraction. That would make me feel really weird. I literally just want to be able to talk with them more. Just friends. Not even a QPR in my experience. I just want them to see me as a friend and appreciate my company. That's all. I'm the same way. When I get a squish, it is an entirely intellectual thing... meaning that there's something about that person's mind/talent/personality that I am awed by, and I want to listen to this person as they talk forever, be this person's friend so I can be around that amazing mind/talent/personality as much as possible, you likely know what I'm talking about. I am not sexually attracted to them (obviously), and their appearance doesn't matter to me at all. I'm not the sort who gets sensual attraction, so obviously that isn't a factor. I'm not a touchy-feely type of critter... to be honest, the only person I feel comfortable cuddling on the sofa with is my mother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cute kitty Meow! Mewo! Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 TBH I just don't get desires at all. I call it a squish because it just feels different. I feel happy just talking to a squish, and when they say sweet things to me I feel all melty instead of the normal annoyed that someone's trying to butter me up for some hidden motive I guess for me, a squish just really changes how I feel about things they do or say, rather than make me suddenly invested in some activity with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philbo Wiseroot Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 1 hour ago, UncommonNonsense said: I'm the same way. When I get a squish, it is an entirely intellectual thing... meaning that there's something about that person's mind/talent/personality that I am awed by, and I want to listen to this person as they talk forever, be this person's friend so I can be around that amazing mind/talent/personality as much as possible, you likely know what I'm talking about. I am not sexually attracted to them (obviously), and their appearance doesn't matter to me at all. I'm not the sort who gets sensual attraction, so obviously that isn't a factor. I'm the same. Though I'm never sure what a squish is for me. Probably something similar to what @cute kitty Meow! Mewo! calls it: 28 minutes ago, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said: I feel happy just talking to a squish, and when they say sweet things to me I feel all melty. I guess for me, a squish just really changes how I feel about things they do or say, rather than make me suddenly invested in some activity with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgypotato Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 2 hours ago, UncommonNonsense said: I'm the same way. When I get a squish, it is an entirely intellectual thing... meaning that there's something about that person's mind/talent/personality that I am awed by, and I want to listen to this person as they talk forever, be this person's friend so I can be around that amazing mind/talent/personality as much as possible, you likely know what I'm talking about. I am not sexually attracted to them (obviously), and their appearance doesn't matter to me at all. I'm not the sort who gets sensual attraction, so obviously that isn't a factor. I'm not a touchy-feely type of critter... to be honest, the only person I feel comfortable cuddling on the sofa with is my mother! Yeah, that's exactly what I feel. It's an extremely intellectual thing for me. Like you said, nothing to do with aesthetic appearance. And yeah, I wouldn't cuddle anyone except my mum! Literally no one else, I don't care how close of a friend they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I am so comfortable with my aromantic orienteation and what it means for my life plans that I sometimes forget a lot of people see single life as the way to live before you've found "the one". I don't have a specific example, just that I will talk with my friend who is also single and something they say makes me realize how they consider single life to be temporary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 In casual situations I tend to forget that people and their SOs spend so much time together. I guess it's just that I am not really used to the everyday routine of a being part of a pair, so I forget they are a package deal joined at the hip and other parts. I keep running into weird situations when we are chatting with someone and I find out that they are renting a place they haven't set a foot in weeks now because they are at the partner's all the time... And when people are expecting to have 'private time' in public? What's the point of joining a group activity if you planning to spend the entire time devouring each other's face and ignoring everyone else? Am I naive to expect them to act like they are socialising with a group of five instead of pretending to be on their honeymoon? I'm genuinely surprised each time this happens but that's apparently normal and expected by the rest of the group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.