Serafu Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I've been considering afamilial for a while now! *mini-vent ahead:* I think it mostly stems from the fact that I have bubbling trauma from my biological family. when I found that that they did not apparently unconditionally "love" me (they had a shit-ton of standards and expectations for me, some too irrational for my own understanding), my understanding of "love" in general just got thrown out of the window. I probably got messed up so bad that even seeing the "found family" trope in fiction makes me wonder in disbelief how there are people out there who can have healthy familial relationships, biological or otherwise :[ I still care about my biological family, but that's because I hold the bare minimum respect and well-wishes for anyone, period - I don't think I'll ever truly say "I love you" to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P4R4D0X Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 So after spending half the summer with both my parents and my grandparents, I can say that they all seem to agree on the fact that I am a weird a$$ child. I have no idea how 5yo me was tricked into thinking she loved those morons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABC Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 First time I ever heard of this, and this clicks with me! I just don’t understand why blood relations, or even if it’s not blood-related but they still raised/lived with you, had to make such a big deal about it. Even harder if you’re from certain cultures such as Asian cultures like I am, where it’s a major deal to be familial. It’s unfortunate how in real life, they’d dismiss us with “So you hate us? We didn’t raise you, educate you, feed you for nothing! You’re making me sad/mad over this!” And all that. When really, we still respect them as they are, and are grateful for how they raised us to live in this society, we just don’t feel any special bond over blood or over them raising/living with us! And because this isn’t part of the LGBTQIA+, on top of the ‘family is everything’ social norms, it’s also practically impossible to come out as this in real life, but so easy and freeing to speak of online here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P4R4D0X Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 On 8/31/2024 at 6:43 AM, ABC said: First time I ever heard of this, and this clicks with me! I just don’t understand why blood relations, or even if it’s not blood-related but they still raised/lived with you, had to make such a big deal about it. Even harder if you’re from certain cultures such as Asian cultures like I am, where it’s a major deal to be familial. It’s unfortunate how in real life, they’d dismiss us with “So you hate us? We didn’t raise you, educate you, feed you for nothing! You’re making me sad/mad over this!” And all that. When really, we still respect them as they are, and are grateful for how they raised us to live in this society, we just don’t feel any special bond over blood or over them raising/living with us! And because this isn’t part of the LGBTQIA+, on top of the ‘family is everything’ social norms, it’s also practically impossible to come out as this in real life, but so easy and freeing to speak of online here. I agree ;-; 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillia Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 On 1/11/2024 at 1:12 PM, Helion said: Afamilial simply means that you don't feel familial attraction. You don't have a special bond to your parents, siblings, etc. You can still like them and have a good relationship with them, but don't have the type of familial attraction most people have, like a mother not being worth more than a friend you are equally as befriended to just because she is your mother. I'm adopted. I was abandoned by my birth mom within 2 days of being born and then adopted by 9 months or so of my life and didn't really move out until I was 18-19 years old (college age at that time). My relationship has always been rocky since my teenage years (long, long story), they've always been very emotionally and psychologically negligent. My adoptive parents have a biological son of theirs whose 11 years older than me. He TORMENTED me via fear (scaring me on purpose, being in general a nasty bully, etc.) until he went off to college (so that comes to about the first 9-11 years of my life). Because of said childhood, I've gone totally numb to him. I never expect him to apologize and if he did, I'd just shrug and tell him that he shouldn't have outted me when I was in my 20s (and him in his 30s), he shouldn't have called an ex boyfriend of mine a racist slur (against when I was in my 20s and he was in his 30s), and just in general been a huge dick towards me during childhood. He was old enough to know damn well the kind of hurt his actions would have caused. He has a wife and 2 kids now (a daughter and son). No idea how he isn't a completely abusive asshole towards the wife and kids. With my parents, I'm basically counting the days before I completely cut off contact from them. I suspect it's going to be within 5 years (since in 2024, I'm in my early 30s, my mom is late 60s, my dad early 70s). They're either going to die and/or go to nursing home before that happens, I SUSPECT but it kind of ultimately depends on the financial situation because I'm doing my damnnest to be fully 100% financially independent from them but the occasional emergency bill or crisis financial issue happens and my Dad is ass-fuck-ton rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P4R4D0X Posted September 27 Share Posted September 27 Apparently my grandfather is likely to die soon. Why am I so happy? Like sure he hit me a lot when I was 5 or so and all that shit but why am I so happy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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