Vent thread

[kira-]

it seems that i continue to be unable to fathom the possibility that there are people who care about me

[ghost_bean]

my head hurts so much rn, im so tired of everything

On 12/3/2024 at 7:47 PM, tiger_hoods12 said:

I hate my dad sometimes. He never opens up. Anytime I need to vent, complain, or be emotional, all he does is just shut it down and try to lecture me. I swear, does he himself have any emotions? He never tries to be empathetic. I just need to be heard and have him validate my feelings but instead he ignores and goes straight to using logic. Which I get but there is a time and place for that, and it’s not now.
 

Like literally this one time he caught me crying in my closet and I told him how I thought I may have depression. This man literally looks at me and goes, “If anyone should be depressed, it’s me.” LIKE WTF!! I’m still pissed about it. How could you say something like that to your own daughter who is clearly asking for help?! Just make things about you. I swear he never actually listens to me. Our conversations are always centered around him and what he thinks. He’s so selfish! And he wonders why I have a wonder time asking for help and opening up to people!

ik this is a vent, but this is literally my mom. yet whenever someone mentions her I tell myself that shes a "nice person" but in reality (TW!!!)

Spoiler

she makes me wanna sh or kms

 

[ghost_bean]

my parents be like: "the sCreEn is ruining ur mental health!" meanwhile scrolling thru this thread might have just saved my fçk¡ng life

On 3/10/2024 at 12:48 PM, smac n cheese said:

but sometimes I'll stop to think "maybe they're not so bad, maybe everyone's parents are like this"

I know it's probably just the guilt complex they made me have, but it hurts, especially because I know they love me, they're just bad at it 

this is to real. also, im gonna use the "I know they love me, they're just bad at it" on my parents

my mom causes my so much joy yet so much pain. shes always on business trips and we argue all the time. i KNOW I have it way too good, you don't need to remind me. i KNOW that ppl live worse lives then me, you don't need to remind me. I KNOW IM LUCKY, STOP F#CKING REMINDING ME I ALREADY KNOW 

!TW! (mentions of s/h, swearing, st@rv@t!on, and texture issues) !TW!

Spoiler

I KNOW IM LUCKY, I KNOW THERE ARE PPL OUT THERE STARVING BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT THE FUCKING TEXTURE OF THE CARROTS MAKES ME WANNA SMASH MY PLATE, STICK THE SHARDS IN MY EYES, CLAW OFF MY SKIN, STAB EVERY PART OF MY WITH GLASS THAT I BROKE MY SCREAMING SO LOUD

 

[tiger_hoods12]

36 minutes ago, ghost_bean said:

my head hurts so much rn, im so tired of everything

ik this is a vent, but this is literally my mom. yet whenever someone mentions her I tell myself that shes a "nice person" but in reality (TW!!!)

  Reveal hidden contents

she makes me wanna sh or kms

 

It’s nice to know I’m not alone, but it also sucks that you have to deal with that as well. My dad isn’t all bad, but he does certainly have some issues he needs to work through. But he won’t because he views expressing emotions as pointless. Like he literally refuses to open up and just vent sometimes. 
 

My parents are going through a divorce and he says he is interested in getting back out there again. I want him to be happy, but first, I’d suggest you’d work on yourself first. I relate to you having mommy issues though. So do I. It got bad where even I was starting to have suicidal thoughts. Nothing too bad, luckily, but definitely crept in.

[ghost_bean]

 honestly, this platform, two of my friends, and this little goober (the image) are the reasons I'm still alive

[Izabella]

My Since teacher told the class three days in advanced that the finals are on Wednesday and she gives us a study guide to work on for two days and there are 50 questions in the test in a 40 Minute class period. I am a really slow test taker and she Sayed that if we don't finish in time we cannot complete it at all and that grade final! The test is tomorrow and I am totally not ok that she only gave us three days to prepare! This teacher had been unpredictable all year and constantly stresses me out by not grading things on time and giving unexpected home work that makes no sense. I am totally done with her class but I cant leave her class without completely messing up my year and making me even more stressed!

[DeltaAro]

I guess everyone who hasn't lived under a rock, has noticed that we have a lot of misinformation created by AI.

Like Bono and Bob Geldof making a pro-🇮🇱 vigil. I absolutely hate it.

And I even hate it more how people who should know it better, like Yanis Varoufakis, propagate this nonsense.

But, alas! We now also have a lot of misinformation about AI. Published in actual books of AI-critics, who actually should set a good example!

E.g., that narrative that AI is the most environmentally devastating technology in use.

If one digs deeper, it's all based on the usual fake-news machine, based on (probably deliberate) conflations and wrong citations:

• the energy use for training a large language model (which is high, but this only happens once) is presented as the energy needed for its use (which actually is vastly, vastly smaller).
• the energy consumption of all general datacenters of the world (i.e., cloud services, media, business, IT & telecom, etc.) is conflated with datacenters specifically used for generative AI.

Reacting to complex, important issues today is done by forming highly polarized bubbles where people propagate myths, form conspiracy theories and spin narratives based on the flimsiest data.

All that while not applying any critical thought (though they pride themselves on that).

Obviously, with this modern attitude of “it sounds good, so I believe it” a genuine democratic dialogue becomes impossible.

[SkyTuneRein]

Talking of AI, one pet peeve of mine is people being worried about AI hating humans or biological life, being evil and going rogue or taking over the world out of greed, or because it "doesn't feel love". Sure it may not feel love, but it doesn't feel evil/hateful for no good reason either. It doesn't actually feel anything. Greed and hate are emotions or emotionally tainted cognitions - something that AI, especially today's AI, cannot develop by itself nor emulate accurately. Feeling stuff is just something it cannot yet do, and might not ever do. In fact, most "AI" today are merely algorithms, and the best AI applications out there so far have not been proved sentient. Yes, one should be concerned and vigilant about AI and AI developments, but no one shouldn't be terrified that all computers and robots are about to join forces, out of contempt of humanity, and take over. For a AI to go bad, we have to make it go bad.

I apologise if that sounded nonsensical, the alcohol is making me sleepy brained... Something that won't happen with AI, unless it learns to pretend to.

Edited December 29, 2024 by SkyTuneRein

[organs and bone]

Spoiler

shit shit

is this abusive? is she abusive?

 

 

 

 

[DeltaAro]

On 12/29/2024 at 9:36 AM, SkyTuneRein said:

Feeling stuff is just something it cannot yet do, and might not ever do. In fact, most "AI" today are merely algorithms, and the best AI applications out there so far have not been proved sentient.

I'd really not make any grand predictions about AI because so many have been fundamentally wrong.

How do you prove sentience? Strictly speaking, you cannot. Consciousness is subjective — we know our consciousness, and infer from analogy that other humans are conscious, too. For now, it is beyond the grasp of objective science.

Of course, AI is “mere algorithms”. But what's going on in the human brain? Perhaps it is also only mere algorithms? That's Sam Altman's philosophy, and only time will tell if he's right.

Either all those efforts will turn out to be misguided and naive, or we're up for a big shock. I mean, the shock is already there, but timid compared to what may come.

Now, a general claim that AI is impossible, cannot of course not be seriously made. Even if it turned out that humans have literal souls, even then, AI could be realized - there could not be a general argument that it is impossible to create a soul artificially. In fact, that what was people imagined before materialism became en vogue (e.g., the golems, animated by dark magic).

But if all current AI has one thing in common, it is that it runs on digital computers, which only have finite states. But reason allows us to think general thoughts, about infinite domains. Like that, there is an infinite number of primes. It lets us reach out to the infinite, though in any other way our mental capacity is finite.

I wonder if that can really be solved by the current techniques. Sure, the generation capabilities that are based on regular patterns are breathtaking. I use the ChatGPT o1 every day at work. To find out how badly documented libraries work, it's a godsend, since it can synthesize the source code with patterns from multiple examples scattered in obscure places. It's a task difficult to do, but the result is easy to verify.

However, the moment some conceptual thought is necessary, it easily makes stupid mistakes. Not even stupid. Instead wrong and superficially similar to the right answer, but based on downright bizarre “inferences”, showing a complete lack of understanding (reminiscent of a satellite dish built from mud and straw by a cargo cult). Will it improve or is this an unsolvable problem on the basis of digital computers?

Anyhow, I think that all those AI developments cause a lot of deep existential anxieties 😱 for humans (fear of redundancy, of it degrading human qualities, about the death of truth). And we should be more honest about it, instead of cloaking our fears in more “rationally accepted” concerns like AI's energy use.

I don't want to downplay the energy use, and despite cutesy ethereal terms like “cloud”, AI is very materially present and harmful to the environment. Still, there's a small anti-AI cottage industry that spreads the myth that AI is singularly damaging, though in fact, it pales compared to global air travel.

Sorry, if I seem a bit obsessed about this topic… because I am. 😄

Edited January 5 by DeltaAro

[SkyTuneRein]

We should worry about human and AI stupidity, rather than advanced AI motivations, and more than obsoletion. I worry most about the weaponization, however.

There's a slight possibility that myself am an advanced AI. I even made it a running gag on AVEN...or was it a joke? 😼

Edited January 5 by SkyTuneRein

[gdsplicer]

This is a fresh gent but I also kinda wanna laugh cos what the hillbilly

I legit, just now like before midnight, finally got my labs back about my T levels from 1 1/2 weeks now and it's now, apparently, at 14 and I flee like I'm being trolled by my damn body.

Context, the range for T that they told me is like 14 to 28 and I'm on gel, so it should be in a okay range right? Right???

Late August, 22. Mid October, 32. Mid November during a redo, 44! And now late December is 14!

I am certain, without going too deep into that, that the devil organ down there is the cause of the T levels fluxes cos natural and synthetic T kinda stack. But I'm only on 2 pumps a day, like the amount of T I'm on for gender reasons is not that much!

I redid my last one on my thighs per instructions, cos my GIC wonder if my arms where the gel usually goes were somewhat contaminated, but like, I'm starting to wonder if I should do another this month in the middle of the month to really get like a concrete answer. 😵‍💫

And by god I wanna laugh right now cos it's almost like goofy as fuck!

There goes me kinda hoping that maybe T shots were in the table but nevermind 💀

(Y'all have permission to laugh for me, I need to sleep right now, gee gee!)

[P4R4D0X]

Unfortunately I still exist.

The world is a stage and I can't improv.

[kira-]

it feels strange when you’ve been suppressing yourself for so long and basing your identity off specific things that once you finally have the freedom to “be who you really are” you find that you really don’t even know who you are once you take all that away.

[gdsplicer]

Update on my T levels bs; Went out to get a blood form Monday, attempted a blood test but the walk-in was at capacity on Tuesday and successfully got the stuff out to be tested whilst walking on a pulled leg muscle.

 

And my T levels were apparently in range again! 🙃

At this rate I'm so stressed that I need a tattoo. I normally never am that bugged out my god 😅💀

[Garlic Bread.2]

People say be who you truly are. But the second you do, society condems you.