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What would you call this type of attraction?


Sad aro

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Maybe there's not one right answer to this question, I'm just curious to hear your thoughts.

I experiences squishes quite frequently. But rarely I experience a stronger type of attraction that I would describe as a more deep feeling of belonging or fellowship. I mean it's more than just sharing values and interests, it feels like the person enriches my life more than the most. When the person enters a room where I'm talking to anyone else or when I have a chance to get to know to the person in another way, it's a bit hard to concentrate on anything else. And when the person shows me interest, I feel happy and energized. And being with the person feels like a flow. Still the attraction isn't like a fuddle with physical reactions like sleeplessness, butterflies in the stomach and possession.

I may have wanted to be physical intimate to the person involved but not it's not an obvious part of the attraction.

Sadly this feelings never have been reciprocated the few times that I've had them for someone, but I'm also able to develop deeper feelings of fellowship by time from ordinary platonic attraction. The result may become similar but not exactly the same as the immediatly form of attraction described above, but I think it would be enough for being able to have a QPR with the person. As I think that the chance is little that a person that gives me the immediatly form of attraction described above would be interested in a QPR with me, I see the later described way to find a QPR as the most possible one.

The immediate form of attraction is not either just a desire of emotional closeness because that is something I want from every relationship. I'm not interested in external relationships.

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9 minutes ago, Sad aro said:

And when the person shows me interest, I feel happy and energized

I feel the same way, where when someone shows me (even slight) interest. I feel energized and happy that the person treated me properly. But those feelings don't last longer than 10 minutes. I am not sure whether there is a specific name for this type of affection, but I am no expert. I am pretty sure that there is a microlabel for losing interest in people right after you get to know them. I would check the lgbtqia+ fandom, they have a breakdown of almost all microlabels.

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This seems like queerplatonic attraction, or possibly some form of tertiary attraction. Though if you have to sift between all the other tertiary forms of attraction, that kinda feels more likely to be aromantic don’t you think?

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Just now, Sad aro said:

Rackson: Frayplatonic/frayalterous or post rubor platonic/post rubor alterous are terms that comes up to me when you describe yourself?

I am not sure what any of those words mean, but I will happily look them up and get back to you! Right now I have just been going by Ace-spec becauce I fall under several microlabels, and tbh the amount of them kinda confuse me.👍 :)

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2 minutes ago, Sad aro said:

Rackson: Frayplatonic/frayalterous or post rubor platonic/post rubor alterous are terms that comes up to me when you describe yourself?

So I get the frayplatonic/alterous part (having attraction of that type but it disappears after you get to know them).

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Rackson: I also feel that it can be difficult to find a microlabel. Many microlabels are similar to each other, and there also microlabels than I feel have suited me at one point in life, but not overall.

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1 hour ago, Sad aro said:

I also feel that it can be difficult to find a microlabel. Many microlabels are similar to each other, and there also microlabels than I feel have suited me at one point in life, but not overall.

Same here! But now I just use 'Aromantic' as an umbrella term since I fit into a lot of the microlabels I figure that it's easier to explain.

I'm sure you've got it but you also don't have to find a specific label for yourself. If you vaguely know where you fit it flies?

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