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Demiromantic voices missing!


Sad aro

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Hi! I'm curious about what challenges comes with being demiromantic in relation to amatonormativity, and if demiaros feel included in the aro community. I am myself aro or maybe grey/qoui and a bit cupio, and up to now I've mostly met people at the same grade on the spec. I think the demoromantic label and flag exists for a reason. That it wouln't be a need for that if demiaros could run and feel like alloromantics.

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I definitely feel included in the aro spec community the aro community has actually helped me find myself and I feel very grateful I am accepted in the community. I have only faced a few challenges and mostly revolves around coming out I got told I was just “regular with extra steps” and that I should “believe in love at first sight because it’s the only from of true love”. The only other trouble I ever faced was when a “friend” I used to know would gaslight me into feeling bad so I would go on dates with people they set me up with so they could show me love at first sight. They also set me up with girls and I’m gay so it was just wrong in all directions.

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Thank you for sharing! You definitely belong to this community and I'm glad to hear that you always felt that way too! Sorry to hear about your coming out-experiences. Actually the reason why I was curious about the demiromantic perspective, except from not knowing any demiaros myself, was because of the reaction from two people who I explained the word demoromantic for (they're alloromantic I guess). They didn't understand why it was non-normative to just be able to fall in live with somebody with a strong emotional bond set first, and said: "Aren't most people like that?" So if I meet that questioning again, I want to get more arguments and perspectives from demiaros. I"m also interested in knowing if gatekeeping is existing in the aro-community. My experience so far is that I've never found a more welcoming community, compared to other minority communities that I've been to, but you never know.

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