Aromanticism or trauma or attachment-caused emotional blocks?

[Sad aro]

This is something I've thought of a lot. How do you guys think you know what is what? Cause you can have both aromanticism and trauma or attachment-caused emotional blocks too. I almost had abandoned the thoughts that I might be broken, so maybe I got a relapse into amatonormativity. It's easy when there seems to be a big lack of knowledge in the health care system about the arospec. Even prestigious phsychiatrists seem to tell people who wonder why they never have been in love, that they might not allow themselves to lose the control and trust somebody. It seems to be rarely they rise the possibility that the questioner just might be aromantic or arospec.

I guess everyone has relational experiences in their life that have affected them negatively, but I find it unlikely that my experiences would have affected me so bad that I cannot feel romantic attraction. Then I at least should be able to fall in love with somebody at a distance, I think.

My friend relationship are working well too.

Edited June 26 by Sad aro

[nonmerci]

I think the first question to ask oneself is : does emotional blocks show in other relationship types? I would be surprised if these things about "losing control" only affect romance, it must show in all relationships as well. So if you have no block in other relationships, it is unlikely that aromanticism is linked to that. Except maybe if you have trauma regarding romance exclusively. 

 

Then, if you indeed have emotional blocks, nothing stops you from ID as aro and then, if you manage to get rid of the blocks, look at if your lack of romantic attraction is still there or not. Sometimes labels change, that's not a problem. They are meant to describe how we feel now and even if it is linked to trauma, the feeling (or absent of feeling) is real.

[Picklethewickle]

It's pretty easy for me to tell, because I don't have trauma, I don't have interpersonal issues, I don't have personality issues, and I don't have trust issues.

While psychiatry and psychology both serve to help people, there isn't really enough acceptance for human diversity, and instead too much emphasis on how a person is supposed to be. Too many cultural and societal notions have slipped into these fields, when they should be only about mental health.

[Sad aro]

Thank you for your answers. I have some negative childhood experiences but I  don't feel that they are affecting my friendships today.

I was in a romantic relationship as young, where I couldn't reciprocate my partners feelings. I couldn't live up to the sexual expectations either. Still I couldn't leave him because I loved him in my way. Though I really cared of him, I felt like a kinda horrible person for my hesitating and that I couldn't reciprocate his feelings. This was before I heard about arospec. I think that this experience can have traumatized me in some way, because after that I've became repulsed by expectations of physical contact. I was repulsed by romantic expectations  already then, but feel that it has become worse after this experience. Maybe I need therapy cause this may hinder me from being with a partner, though I think I want a QPR.

[Littleface]

I think ultimately it comes down to the attraction aspect. Obviously it’s very nuanced but if we could boil it down to a simple answer it would look something like…Is this person feeling attraction and then experiencing distress around the relationship deepening in trust, bond, seriousness?  That would be indicative of an attachment wound. If there is a repulsion around the romantic aspect of the relationship from the get go…I’d say more so perhaps arospec.
 

I will be honest, this is one of the reasons I have issues with some micro labels such as ‘lithoromantic’. It muddies the water, because being romantically into someone but then becoming repulsed once your feelings are reciprocated are extremely indicative of attachment wounding…just my thoughts.