Jump to content
Philbo Wiseroot

Romantic peer pressure?

Recommended Posts

So a few years ago I was in a group for something (can't remember what) and we each ended up having to kiss, and be kissed by, someone in the group. Even if we didn't want to. 

 

Anyone have any similar experiences of being pressured into anything romantic?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh, that sounds like a horrible group to be in... I'd have run away. :gasp:

 

That honestly sounds like it was orchestrated by someone with some weird, sick, creepy enjoyment of making people suffer. Luckily I've never actually been in a situation like that, and even if I was, I'd refuse to take part... let them just try to make me do it... they will be in a world of pain. B|

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never actually lived it because it usually happens when my friends play truth or dare or some random drinking game which are two situations that I avoid.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The closest thing I've experienced to that is when I've been playing truth or dare someone once asked someone else who in the room they'd go on a date with if they had to choose one person. I thought if someone would ask me that, what would I say? I was closest to the girls there and I'm really not interested in getting homophobic comments and if I told the truth that I wouldn't want to go on a date with anyone, no one would believe me because that's how it always is :/ I'm glad that after all those years no on ever asked me something like that. The worst thing that happened to me when playing truth or dare was having to borrow my friends socks because mine ended up wet xD

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

So a few years ago I was in a group for something (can't remember what) and we each ended up having to kiss, and be kissed by, someone in the group. Even if we didn't want to.

I'd have a very positive view about such an event.
Being able to kiss someone without the impossible task of their first being my GF/BF/etc sounds really good to me.
As does someone wanting to kiss me without requiring that I be their BF.
Though mutual consent would be essential.

 

9 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

Anyone have any similar experiences of being pressured into anything romantic?

I often feel expected to at least show an interest in romantic stuff or be assumed to be asexual if I don't.

 

4 hours ago, aihpen said:

The closest thing I've experienced to that is when I've been playing truth or dare someone once asked someone else who in the room they'd go on a date with if they had to choose one person. I thought if someone would ask me that, what would I say?

If I were asked something like that I'd object to the "one person" bit. My possible answers would include "nobody" and "everybody".
The closest to this I would ask would be something like "If you'd want to go on a date with anyone here, even if they'd be unavailable for some reason or other, who are they?"

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had friends try to hook me up on a date. And I went on a double date being told it was as a friend so that the other couple could have some safety in a group instead of just the two of them. but then my friend confessed it was a real date. 

 

I've had a friend who I spent a lot of time with because I was stressed and she let me spend time with her. as far as I could tell I was interacting with her pretty much the same as her other friends. but her other friends kept trying to get us to share blankets or have time alone or other romantic activities... 

 

 

 

tbh I don't mind kissing tho lol! I don't understand why it'd be an issue to kiss someone for some social event. but I do understand how you might feel of course. even tho with kissing. I actually kind of enjoy it. just not romantically lol! I just like the way it makes my lips feel xD

 

although. if there were ovious romantic elements to the activity. that it wasn't just kissing to look cute in a photo or something that I don't understnad but don't care about. then yeah omg I'd be so overwhelmed by it. like if they partnered us up with someone to be a date for the evening. I would have to say "sorry but lets enjoy this as friends ok? I mean they want us to do romantic stuff so let's just make it a game for fun as friends ok?" and even then I'd probably feel uneasy. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always feel "obligated" to understand or enjoy romantic things in order to be "normal" or else everyone treats me like a fluke of nature. One time, shortly before I started identifying as aro, a boy told me I should "try 'liking' someone because it might make me happy" when I told him I didn't have a crush on anyone in our school. :stopapo: Good times.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, techno-trashcan said:

I always feel "obligated" to understand or enjoy romantic things in order to be "normal" or else everyone treats me like a fluke of nature. One time, shortly before I started identifying as aro, a boy told me I should "try 'liking' someone because it might make me happy" when I told him I didn't have a crush on anyone in our school. :stopapo: Good times.

I especially feel this after coming out. I'm still expected to contribute to those conversations otherwise people call me weird :/

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

'Friends' not believing you when you say you don't have a crush... And telling random people that you have a crush on them as revenge. I felt the pressure of having to pretend I 'liked' people in order not to be humiliated.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made up a crush one time, because a friend was telling me about her crushes. I hadn't experienced a crush yet at the time, so I made one up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Every relationship I ever had was romantic peer pressure xD I'm just sorry they had to get hurt in the process, and that I wasted all of our time faking it.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. I'm so sorry you had that experience. NOT cool. 

 

The closest I came to this was when I was pressured to take a ballroom dance class. It was fun sometimes when I succeeded in ignoring the romantic undertones, but it never became comfortable, even though I was there for nine months. So many romantic undertones that I didn't understand. We had to form into partners, and I HATED that. And sometimes they would say "ladies' choice" which would make it even MORE uncomfortable. I didn't want to make anyone feel bad. I didn't want to make anyone think I had a crush on them. I was glad when the mother of a boy in the class said he never got picked and she asked if I would pick him sometimes, because then I had a different reason to pick someone. Overall, it was awkward and too close to make eye contact with someone, and I had the constant sense that there was something going on that I didn't understand. 

Before I realized I was aro/ace, including when I took ballroom dance, I did feel pressure to pretend I understood things I didn't understand. Now, I just tell people if I don't understand something romantic/sexual and and ask what it means. 

I did do some truth or dare, and when they asked me if I had a crush on anyone, I would just say no. They probably didn't believe me, but whatever. One time, they asked if I could marry anyone in the group, who would it be, and I just said the name of the host's dog. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2016-09-06 at 7:39 AM, Quinoa said:

One time, they asked if I could marry anyone in the group, who would it be, and I just said the name of the host's dog. 

:D That's great.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was set up on a blind date without knowing it once. I went to a movie with a friend and she had invited her partner and another friend that 'I was sure to get along with' 

I was oblivious to the romantic expectations pretty much the entire time. But that situation was peer pressure right? or just a unwanted 'surprise' plan?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...