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SoulWolf

Butterflies in your stomach?

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I keep hearing about people saying they feel butterflies in their stomach area when they see or are near a person they have a crush on. But why the stomach? I get odd sensations in my stomach when I'm stressed about something, but I've never felt that way in the presence of a person I like. The only kind of 'butterflies' sensation I get with people I like is higher up, like in my heart area, or my throat (if I'm also sad that I can't show affection towards them). Never the stomach...

 

What's it like for the rest of you? Actual stomach area, or somewhere else / nowhere?

 

I've honestly wondered for my whole life if people just don't know where their stomachs are actually located...

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The only "butterflies in the stomach" I've experienced were more painful than "romantic". It felt almost like I was being stabbed (ok maybe not that painful, but I don't know how to describe it otherwise) both in the stomach and in the ribs.

My young and naive self came up with the conclusion that people were insane for loving such a horrible feeling.
Years later I realized that I was just REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of anything romantic and that this pain was kind of an internal red alert. (It might have been anxiety attacks, but I don't really experience anxiety in general so I can't compare... not sure what to think)

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I always associated that with the same feeling you get in the stomach when nervous. Is that not true?

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2 minutes ago, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

I always associated that with the same feeling you get in the stomach when nervous. Is that not true?

I also associate it with that... but I only find it noticeable (to me) when I'm incredibly nervous and really stressed, bordering on dread... which is why I find it so weird that people (apparently) associate that feeling with 'love', or they somehow frame it as a positive thing.

 

Like the one time I was waiting at the dentist, and thought to myself "ohh, this must be the butterflies in my stomach feeling I keep hearing about... but it can't be the same thing they're talking about because this sure as hell doesn't feel nice".

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Feeling butterflies in your stomach is more often a biochemical reaction than it is a reaction specifically to love. It's more of a mere indicator, which is why such an uncomfortable feeling is associated with love. However, it's also common when people feel nervous, which they can be, for many many reasons.

 

The science behind this "butterflies in stomach" reaction as per Google:

Hormones are released in this situation to primarily increase blood flow to the muscles and get us ready for action. So because more blood is now directed to the muscles, there is less blood aiding digestion. Feeling of butterflies in the stomach is due to reduction in blood aiding digestion.

 

Notice that the release of hormones is a spontaneous reaction. I.e., the body's reaction towards a thing/person/situation. 

 

Basically, it's a positive thing because of the context (towards a person, probably) and because in that context, it indicates romantic love, which for them, is a positive thing. 

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I have never really felt such thing because I'm around someone special.

It sounds so grotesque to me. And a bit disgusting. Sorry, but having living, moving insects within a person is just...eww. I like reading or watching tacky sci-fi, but in this case I'd prefer not to live it.

 

Anyway, I have felt nervous, apprehensive or excited about something but that something different. Like the knot in the stomach. Or the way too much coffee. Or the freshly opened carbonated drink like excitement.

Was any of that what others describe as butterflies? I don't know. Honestly, its so hard to describe feelings and emotions, you can try to compare it to something but it'll sound ridiculous.

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Back when I was a hormonal teenager who didn't know the difference between a crush and a squish, I got this a lot, but it was also often accompanied by actual nausea, so I have to wonder if that was my romance repulsion kicking in before I even knew I was aro. It's much more rare now, and like the OP said, is often situated higher up for some reason when it does happen.

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I also think this is a nervousness thing. I always get this tingly feeling in my stomach when I'm nervous and I always thought this must be what people mean with the butterflies thing. It just makes sense to me because people usually get nervous around their crushes, right? So it just makes sense that they'd feel this. The only times I feel butterflies in my stomach because of other people is when I meet new people and don't know anything about them, but as soon as I know I'll get along with them, it usually goes away. And also phone calls! I hate them, I have no idea why, but phone calls make me more nervous than anything and the butterflies I feel then feel quite sickening.

A completely different time I get butterflies though is whenever I drive over this one road... It is a very even road, but at one point it goes down immediately and then back to normal. Or in rollercoasters when it suddenly moves down fast. And I don't think I'm attracted to rollercoasters... Or roads... Or telephones... Or every random person that I've never talked to before...

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I heard that there are like, emotional nerve endings or something, that might physically fire because of emotions, and that there are a lot in our brain and there is a concentration in our heart also, and that actually there are some right underneath our stomachs. and that this is why people talk about "butterflies in the stomach" or "trusting the gut feeling" 

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I get butterflies in my stomach all the time. It's actually a bit annoying. I get it mostly when I'm nervous, like before taking an exam or test (I get serious exam nerves), or doing something I've never done before. But also before something I'm really exited about, like a trip or rollercoasters.

But I never have experienced having butterflies because of another person. 

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        For the most part, I have only ever experienced "butterflies" when apprehensive or frightened. One of the primary circumstances I have in mind is when a thunderstorm takes a nasty turn and I begin to really worry about the possibility of damaging winds, flooding, lightning strikes, or a tornado. In the single instance I can recall where I experienced "butterflies" toward a specific person, a squish, they were more so in my chest and were short lived. Although the brevity of the feeling may be more to do with the fact that this person was already in a (assumed monogamous) relationship, which I wished to respect regardless of my own feelings.

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I don't think everyone has butterflies in their stomach just by being in the general vicinity of the target of their crush. I've been around my crushes and datemates many times and never felt any different than I do typing this post right now. Some people may get nervous around them because they want to look good for the person they are crushing on, which causes the butterflies as people mentioned above. But it's not a constant or mandatory thing.

 

When I become close or intimate with my datemates or crushes, I get what I like to call the "warm fuzzies" xD It's not uncomfortable like the butterflies in the stomach are when you're nervous, but it's a very happy, light, and warm feeling in your chest/stomach area, I'd say. :)  

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unfortunately I've never actually been near a crush. because my crushes arrive after they are out of my life, heh...

 

with squishes the most I get is a lighting-up sensation around my eyes. I probably look surprised or excited for a brief moment? 

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When I'm nervous or stressed, my stomach tightens and my throat closes up. Maybe they are nervous around the people they have crushes on? But it's not a good feeling for me, and they seem to think it's a good feeling. 

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The only time i remember I had butterflies is during hugs but I think it's because I have sensory overload when it happens.

It never happened when I like somebody. I wish people didn't systematically associate butterflies to attraction, because I heard that many times, "if you have butterflies, it's that you like them / you don't have butterflies, you're certainly not in love".

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