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Corrupt a Wish


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You suddenly become nihilist, therefore snails and slugs don't really exist to you, neither does the entire Universe.

 

I wish my cat would stop laying on my important papers when I need them.

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Democracy does not get in the way. Individual thought does not get in our way. Nothing gets in our way. We are one mind. We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Your technology will be ours and add to o

The @Momo population, no longer limited by disease, explodes (by mitosis, I guess). Australia is overrun by Momos. With their disease resistance giving them a marked evolutionary advantage, Momos soon

Your day is 48 hours, but this is because the first 24 hours of it repeat.  Congratulations you ruined the spacetime continuum   I wish donuts were healthy 

Those planets harbour aliens which invade Earth and enslave all the living creatures here.

 

I wish I my friend didn't think that arriving 7 hours late is acceptable. 

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It's a pufferfish. Is it the part which kills you? Is it the part that's safe to eat? There's only one way to find out and if you refuse to eat it this lovely person standing next to you will shoot you instead.

 

I wish Robot Wars wasn't ending this Sunday.

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They're left unfinished and the ?building? falls down.

 

My internet connection is so on off so wish my my new laptop came tomorrow morning if it's the iPad's fault. Otherwise I wish for a fast consistent wifi signal if that's the problem right now.

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1-the new laptop crashes after 10 minutes

2-the signal is so intense that it causes you to get cancer

 

I wish I had a pause somewhere in my 9am to 6pm (literally) non-stop classes Mondays...

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Mate, they're furthest down the circulation peninsula, there's no way that can change sorry to say. Wish for something more realistic next time!

 

My new laptop CE this morning so my wish was granted, plus I'm very happy because internet is also fixed.

 

I wish for Adobe CS6 free on my laptop.

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Granted! It makes your computer so slow that your computer freezes up. Also, you have no space left. Have fun not being able to save anything ever again and STILL not being able to use Adobe CS6!

 

I wish I was better at parking. 

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You no longer have a neck. Have fun now that you have to turn your whole body cuse you can no longer turn just your head.

 

I wish it would stop raining before the soccer game this morning.

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Granted! You have no reflection now; you've turned into a vampire!

 

I wish I could control my dreams and remember them every night.

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Granted! You get good birthday presents, but you soon discover you are allergic to all of them and can't even be in the same room with any of them without needing an epipen. 

 

I wish my cat got along with other cats. 

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